I've been on hold on business calls all day.
I can't think of better training in the Free Will Muscle than trying to get what you want done in business over the phone these days. Those computer voices that do everything possible to keep you away from a human customer service agent, combined with the long holds and that despicable music are like Boot Camp For Free Will, if you ask me.
Anyhow, I am liberating myself from what shackles have been holding me back for some time.
First, all of the work I went through on a soul level, with 'debridement', if you recall a blog post from yesterday.
Then there was Surrender.
Today, I got a message back from three of my favorite people, right on awakening:
I am sorry.
You do not like this experience, I understand.
I love you.
I understand your messages (blog posts) more than you can ever think.
(C--I feel a warm glow in my heart)
I am tired of being God.
I want this assignment to end, same as you.
I am unhappy with the way it turned out--same as you.
I want to put this game away and play something else, just like you.
(Clears his throat)
What I propose is a Truce.
Between you and me.
Between all of us.
Just let it go, where everything is.
I don't want you to feel awful any more than you want to feel pain.
Your wish is for love and happiness, and so is my wish for you.
I will take care of it, your birthday party in the Light (holds my chin in his right hand)
The veil of tears is about to lift.
You will have a beautiful amazing night of forgiveness, of love and family, of TRUTH, of HOPE, and JOY.
Forever and ever, it is coming to thee.
(He calls me by my old name, the one I had when we were incarnate together last. He kisses me, and holds me gently)
The nightmare is about to end.
I am ending it.
(gestures with right arm sweeping)
For you and for all of us.
And today, for the first time, I tackled some projects that have been energy blockages for me, and painful ones, for some time:
- I cleared up the floor in my closet, and threw many things out
- I threw away my old cardiac surgery and cardiac anesthesia books--they are too old to help, old 'editions' if you will. I cleared out SO MUCH negative energy and reminders of being screamed at by heart surgeons.
- I paid my bills
- I learned from the maid service my credit card had been declined.
- I called the company and they detected fraud and stopped it
- I spent the rest of the day clearing it up
- I read this: http://timebandit15.wordpress.com/2014/03/18/conversations-with-cobra-part-ii/
- I caught up with my email
- I discovered the reason I didn't get my Karuna Reiki certificate for my student was the hold on the credit card, and resolved it
- I also learned a trick of printing on a test paper and holding it with the certificate up to the window before you commit to that final print so everything 'lines up'
- I reconfirmed I am a registered Karuna Reiki Master Teacher with the IRT
- I renewed my Reiki News Magazine
- I put dinner in the crock pot
My heart is light right now, and energy is flowing.
That is not to say I didn't have one major hiccup about two hours ago.
In the closet, I 'heard' Ross say something very kind and loving and affirming.
And I started bawling.
I missed him. I missed home. I missed being able to Love God.
Father-God, and Ross came immediately to my assistance.
Father-God tried to find out why I was upset.
I explained that I want to see you, I want to hear you, I want to make sure you know you matter very much to me.
I kept reaching out with my arms, with this empty gesture, explaining that on earth you can't love air.
You need someone to hold, and to touch, when you Love.
Feeling like I am able to Love is a very important part of who I am; Loving God is like air for me.
I felt trapped, like I was in a vacuum of darkness, and my basic drive to Love God was being blocked!
They referred me out to Mother-God, who gave me a strong cup of tea, and reassured me over and over again. My hands were shaking as I tried to drink it.
Then Ross stepped in.
I felt a little better to be just with him.
He took me up to our apartment on board ship. He and I had a cup of hot chocolate at the table.
He encouraged me to feel with my hands the room, the table, the floor--that was REAL--and all of this here now is actually a dream.
But I cried some more, not understanding why I felt so poorly?
Then he got upset.
He stood up and hit the wall and the door with his fist.
ARE YOU ANGRY WITH ME? I asked, in horror.
No--I felt the energy immediately--no.
He was disappointed in himself.
Apparently they are titrating the energies again, trying to make it 'light' for the masses, but then it's like choking off the oxygen for me.
He glowed, and transferred energy to my system.
And I perked right up.
I was able to finish all of my chores I set about to accomplish, although there is still quite a few more left for me to do.
Now it is time to go run errands!
I hope you get an idea of what galactic life is like, from what I share.
Be kind to yourself, and gentle. Energetically we are going through some pretty intense 'upgrades'.
Aloha and Mahalos,