I just had a disturbing dream.
I was re-marrying my first husband. We were older now. But he was in jeans, and I wasn't in a dress either. I was digging through my old jewelry box to find some new plain rings for us. His wouldn't fit. And the crowd seemed annoyed to be there in the first place, and waiting.
In my heart I was thinking that we would be peaceful together this time because we were older.
My sister, who had been our bridesmaid the first time, was standing in place, and ready...
But when it was time to walk down the aisle, I said, 'What am I doing? I don't want to be here!'
So at the altar I politely explained the situation to my ex, and to the audience, and feeling tremendous freedom, I excused myself to go.
I've been divorced from him for twenty years! It was finalized I think April 1994.
At the same time, I realized I had some feelings to 'work through', and basically, it was facing the need for earthly companionship/needs being met that were totally apart from the spiritual ones.
And I Woke UP!!!
According to Marilyn Raffaele, http://aquariusparadigm.com/2014/02/16/the-arcturian-group-via-marilyn-raffaele-16-february-2014/, our entire LIFETIME this time around is meant to 'bring up some serious karma' for resolution. And in my dream last night, I felt myself working 'through' the the last bit of an issue I had thought had been resolved a long time ago...
Then Heavenletter today is along the same lines--'A Change Of Heart' --http://sirianheaven.wordpress.com/2014/02/17/heavenletter-4833-change-of-heart-february-17-2014/
To be honest, I was quite ready to 'give it a go' with the ex, and to trust him. It wasn't until I woke more and thought, 'What am I doing? I am happy with my husband in spirit, Ross! I am already married in my heart.'
I guess I got myself to the point of forgiveness (we were just kids at the time, and he had a troubled childhood, my college sweetheart who became my first husband.)
And that was it.
Go along for the ride.
Your karma resolution is depending on it.
Let everything happen for there is healing in it. Just note that you are Here, Now, and you have a say in how your heart REALLY feels about it this time.
Learn your lessons well. And let go.
I have to share a big one I did yesterday that is going to make you laugh:
When my son was born, the hospital gave us plenty of baby blankets to take home with us. You know the white ones with the stripes of pink and blue on them? I've kept them for YEARS. My boy is nine! Sunday, I gave them back into the dirty laundry in the newborn examination room. There were about ten blankets.
I let them go.
I let go of everything I had been holding on to, trying to keep the magic of being a new mother.
I let go of my dream of having five kids and a busy home and being a wife and mother.
There is no way I could ever have a baby. Even having him was a miracle--I couldn't. I would miscarry.
And now there is a hummingbird taking a bath in the fountain, chirping away.
Ross and I filled the hummingbird feeder together on Friday. He was trying to tell me I am his angel and I got embarrassed and wanted to cry so I changed the subject, 'Do you like hummingbirds?'.
'I like hummingbirds. Would you like to fill the feeder together?'
We did.
I guess everything is going to be okay.
I'm glad he sent me one right now while I was sharing something that might make you laugh but was very serious growth for me.
He is a a good husband.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
P.S. This morning I saw him go to work. He went up an elevator type thing. He went WAY up. He was quiet, and thoughtful, and wearing his suit he wears, the one with the little gold triangle over the heart. They don't drink coffee at the control panels. I kind of thought they would. But they greet each other heartily, and get all intensely engaged with their work and their day...he's at the helm now. With Ashtar, Bartholomew, and one other... : )
Have a good day Ross!
