This one isn't easy to write. It is straight from my soul, from my heart, from my center of my essence.
Everything I knew about me, is not what I once thought: today I had a breakthrough with the meeting of my Higher Self.
I was angry at Her for sending me here. It took the patience of many, many in the Higher Realms including my Beloved, Ross, to calm me down and get me accustomed to--and not necessarily enthusiastically receiving--this knowledge of Her, my Higher Self.
Much of the accusation was along the lines of 'why are you THERE, all comfortable and Light, back wherever you are, while I am here having to carry on with this pebble in my shoe that is so painful?'
This process took hours for me, in very deep and tearful meditation.
Here are the lessons I 'picked up' from working with Her:
- the only difference between me as I am now, and Her, is what I remember. We are One.
- I am not an 'avatar' for a 'game' or anything. My consciousness is the very BEST part of Her.
- She, up there, is 'what I used to remember', or what I once was before I incarnated here.
- She says to think of me, here, now, like the green shoot that comes off the branch of the tree. I am the New Growth, the part that is actively seeking experiences for soul advancement.
- I am Here on Assignment, and because of this, my amnesia is very thick.
- I am still the beloved of Ross, just as much as I always have been, and that will not change.
- When I go up, my 'memory of Her' that is Her will merge with 'my experiences of Now' and all will be One, but I will not 'disappear'. I will regain full knowledge as a Galactic Citizen of the Universe.
She gave me a symbol. It is Her Reiki Symbol. I am to use it and to explore what it means and what it does. I am not sure if it Heals, or if it makes Remembering more simple, or exactly what it is about.
At one point, she asked me, to make a list of all my Dreams.
The fact is, at this point, I have None. I don't dare to dream or hope, because every time I do, it is accompanied by a 'Lesson', which is painful, or a 'Mission' which is exhausting, and I do not at this point wish to budge or do anything at all with my person.
She said, gently, that at least now, fresh for today, I begin with a clean 'plate', and I can create whatever I wish, without any distortion whatsoever, for I know the Truth about who I am, and my Higher Self.
I have the feeling that through all of this 'discovery', it is much like having a brand new pair of Levi's 501 jeans. They are rough and scratchy, and I have to wear them until the fibers become pliable, and comfortable. I have to break them in.
Again, I do not wish to explain this any more than I have already. This is the most advanced lesson I have been given, myself, on my own spiritual path. I write this for anyone else who experiences a similar 'lesson' to have a point of reference. When it is time for you to understand this lesson and the material of the soul journey that is presented here, it will be there for you, for reference, for you to compare your own 'notes'. It is my hope that it will make your process simpler, and easier to fathom, for you.
There is no song, or photograph which even comes close to describing that which is 'real' and that is 'illusion' when it comes to the Higher Self. I barely grasp it. That is why I sign off, and leave this for you, with a kiss and a hug and a HUGE box of tissues, my favorite, the softest 'puffs plus with the aloe'...
Aloha and Mahalos,