Wednesday, June 25, 2014


Don't let the French word throw you. It's very nice, actually, möelleux. See?

Translations of moelleux
moelleuxveloutébien mûrrichemélodieuxharmonieux
élastiquesouplemoelleuxqui fait ressortalertevivant
qui s'écrase facilementmoelleuxbourbeuxboueux

Yesterday I had enough.  For the first time, I took off my ring and my three bracelets--the ones that mean so much to me with Spirit.  The ones that connect me to Ross. I just couldn't take it any more.

I also knew it was time to open one of my most precious gifts, the bottle of Möelleux white wine from my family in France, from Hervé, and Jöelle, the ones I love so much. I had brought back four bottles as a gift for my birthday I spent with them three years ago. There is a cork that says Vouvray, and no labels on anything. Only white duct tape over the top to make sure they were okay in transit on the way home.

It is a delicious wine. Very sweet. And in it is sunshine from the land close to my heart, the Loire Valley, land of the Chateaux Sur Loire. Myself, I would love to have a home with a cellar on the banks of the Cher river. Only that part of the world could possibly get me away from the beach. I love it so! And the people there are amazing.

See for yourself:

I was there, but I looked, you can't see me in the video.

Why is it that France appeals so much to me? And that I feel safe when I am there? I have loved France my entire life! It has to do with my past life; the one I shared with Ross... I escaped there to save my own life after he was brutally murdered. I would have been next. <3

Last night I had insomnia. Bad. I tossed and turned until midnight.

I called in Kamehameha. I spoke with him from my heart. You see, not only is he my Reiki Master guide, he was my father in another life. I hated him for his cloistering me, and marrying me off to a horrible man, and for his bloodthirsty battles. It wasn't until October 2012 that I made my peace with him, and we have moved on in our relationship as father and daughter.

I asked him, since my Higher Self told me 'You have my memories' if he really was father to me? Or was he father to HER, and I was just borrowing the memory?

I was concerned because all of my family ties, which are important and meaningful to us all, but especially in the Spirit worlds, where they are like the only thing that really exists, is the love that we have for each other...

He assured me that I have been incarnate the whole time, for all of my memories. That I did all of those things, not her, since I was Tabitha so many years ago. She never incarnated. Not once. So although she was around and helping, the one who did all the work was me.

All family ties are REAL, and nothing could take them away. Not ever. I am and ever shall be ohana to him.

He promised to watch over me while I slept, to keep me from going UP and doing whatever work I do at night, and he said, 'they can live one day without you doing your tasks that you do up there.'

So I slept.

 Early this morning, Ross came.  I had woke up a little earlier, and put my ring and my bracelets back on. He held me; for the first time all week it felt 'normal' with our energies again.

I was very sad. And weak. And tearful over the events of the past week, with my reunion with my Higher Self. Her saying that she gave me her memories, that she could make me go anyplace she wanted (with a ZAP! I imagine), and her wanting to get to know me on Her terms, not mine, really bothered me a lot.

Many of my friends have much better relationships with their Higher Self. They don't understand  why I don't like the helpfulness, why I don't like knowing --basically--the real ME, and why I am taking it so hard?

They LOVE their Higher Selves.

Imagine how Han Solo would take it if he was told someone else called the shots. Or Princess Leia? These are the first very strong individuals who fight for a cause that come to mind.

What my Higher Self needs to learn, and what the Council--those who study me in this incarnation--is I am different from most people and extremely different from all the Galactics in my heart:

  • I never once ask any questions. I don't care to know the mysteries of the Universe.
  • I don't question WHY I am asked to do things on my missions, I focus all of my energy rather on completing them successfully.
  • I LIKE the amnesia. It helps me to concentrate on what is at hand, and leave behind anything I don't need to know.
  • Five minutes in Nature--feeding a duck or enjoying the cool breeze--mean so much MORE to me than anything anyone could ever explain about Galactic anything.
  • I trust that my ability to 'connect' to the Akhashic Records and All Knowledge There Is through telepathy, when I want to know something--is sufficient to get me through anything I 'need to know'.
  • I chose this Ascension just the way it is, for the plants and the animals I adore. They are angelic, and I want them to stay the way they are. (My Higher Self told me this)
  • This knowledge helps me to accept the delays and discomfort for my soul in the meantime.

Early this morning, Ross carried me to the Council. This wasn't the usual one. There were twelve beings there, all in a row.

He placed me before them. I looked over my shoulder, and stretched my hand out to him, but he gestured that I had to be alone.

I sat on the floor. I assumed a fetal position. I rocked back and forth to soothe myself.  I did not talk. I never made eye contact, either. I just kept rocking and humming to myself softly.

The Council didn't bother to ask me questions. They knew how I felt, and that I wouldn't answer.

I saw Ross gesture to them in concern that their delays had done this to me; one can only wait for so long for Ascension. I also felt his heart ask if there was anything that they could do to make it better?

This morning I awoke to my son who was 'starving'. He needed a blood test where he was fasting. So at six-thirty this morning, we dressed and drove to the clinic.

It didn't open until eight.

So we went to a small park with a lake, and walked to kill time.

It was the best thing that ever could have happened for my energy, for my healing of my heart.

It was a beautiful surprise. I gave thanks for it.

I have the warmth and feeling of Source in my heart; that is from my Higher Self.
I have the knowledge that all memories, and important family ties, are real and intact.
They are not 'borrowed' from my Higher Self.
And She knows to wait, just like a person with a child or an animal, for that being to approach them--not to overwhelm it with your excitement to be close.

Some things take time.

I have been assured I have all the time I need to get this part right.

Ross really wanted the Council to stop assuming that 'Galactic Ways' are right for the Ground Crew.

That is my gift to all of humanity, with my Light, to make it possible for each Ground Crew to have the welcome they need, and for the Galactics to 'get it right the first time' for them. I am one extreme. The ones who welcome the Higher Self are the other. And everything in between is going to be permitted for the Highest Good in this next awakening phase of the Ascension Process.



Aloha and Mahalos,

Reiki Doc and Ross