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Friday, June 6, 2014
Two Cars And A Miracle
Screw Being The Princess--I Am The Queen!
I was at a stop light, and I read the words on the frame of the license plate that said, 'Screw Being The Princess--I Am The Queen!' I was startled by the ego in that plate!
Then I looked--the headliner was coming loose. It was a late model Mercedes that nobody ever drives any more and I thought how very sad a 'big picture' of the whole vehicle and driver was indeed.
Surfing Is A Dance--The Waves Always Lead
This one was in front of me this morning on my way to the freeway. It was profound. And it dovetailed quite nicely with my lessons Spirit has been giving me: let go of control, let go of outcome, trust, communicate freely and LOVE everyone you meet.
Here is an example of a 'wave' I caught recently: the nurse in my room said he'd heard something awful about surgeon X. His daughter had committed suicide in medical school back East last week. Was it true? It felt true, but we decided A) not to talk about it outside of us three in the room and B) find out if it's true. Well, I asked the Charge nurse after the case. And yes, it was true. Not much more known than that. I asked what we were going to do as a group? Should we send flowers? What do you do in that situation, to comfort the parent whose child died at their own hand? She asked me to find out.
I went to the lady in SPD (where they clean the instruments--sterile products) who I knew lost one child suddenly as an adult. I was very careful to phrase the question so as not to upset her. I also let her know it was okay to not answer if she was uncomfortable with the question. But she did appreciate may asking her for advice on how to do something that would be most appreciated by the surgeon at this difficult time.
It turns out she lost two children, one was sick and expected, the other, out of the blue. She said what not to say--'I know how you feel'. She also said not to talk too much. Then she smiled and said, 'write a card or a note.' And one brother, he just sat at the foot of her bed, reading, not saying anything, so she wouldn't be alone. People just being present meant the most to her at all. Her brothers and sisters said, 'I am here for you. Any time, day or night, if you need me I will come and I will be there.'
So I told the Charge Nurse we should give a card. I felt to write a letter personally. On Monday morning I found out; by Monday afternoon I had the letter.
Today I saw him in the doctors lounge at the computer. I said, 'I have something for you'. I went to my locker and showed him the letter. His aura relaxed immediately, and his face softened, and I felt his emotion of 'You KNOW my secret bad news and you CARE?!'. There was instant, total vulnerability with graceful acceptance, and determination to move on with the overwhelming pain. He chose LIFE instead of letting this tragedy defeat him. This is what his aura communicated to mine in an instant, without words. It reminded me so much of his spirit and determination in the O.R. with his patients when the surgery is complex and challenging.
I gave him a hug and a kiss. I said, 'Read it when you are off from work. I cried when I was writing it. I meant it from the heart.' Then we just acted normal, and the banter in the lounge from everyone else who was also present was like always. He welcomed the return to work, he said. (It was nice to be normal in some way again.). So we both turned to our computers, and I confessed how my boy's father decided this wasn't his weekend, when it was, and how I had to scramble to change my plans to accommodate his father's decision. The concept of co-parenting was new to my friend the surgeon.
I could tell he was glad to talk about something else--anything--to keep his mind off the sadness for a little while.
Nellie was right. I'm so glad I followed her advice and wrote the letter.
You are going to have a MIRACLE!
That was the message I got from Blessed Mother after I finished my work day. I was like, okay, a little excited but pretty much focused on leaving the hospital.
On the drive home, I saw Ross and Ashtar in a little white room. They were facing me, Ross was on the left, my left. We talked. I cried. I was glad to hear them tell me this whole 3D thing is over. We hugged. I was so happy to be with them.
Much to my surprise, each one pushed the white wall behind them like a barn door, and before me was beautiful scenery of nature. There was a beach where I could swim and snorkel and surf. I jumped right in! I could see the fish. There were even dolphins, and I could tell they were intelligent and were aware of my presence. I came back with delight. I said, 'I never have to get out of the water ever again!'
Next, Ross lifted me up on a horse, you know that 'boost' you give to help someone up? And I was RIDING! I always wanted a horse! This one was beautiful. There was a stable and a ring and also trails for me to ride. Ross said I could even ride a unicorn if I wanted to, any time! The 'ranch' pleased me so very much! I looked around and saw there were no goats. I asked Ross if I could have one goat too, please? He said he'd look into it, but there would have to be two so the one goat wouldn't get lonely. And there would be no breeding of goats allowed! They would have to be of the same sex. LOL
Ross knows how much I like animal babies...
Then there was my GARDEN! Exact, duplicate, which is not big. They said I could expand it a little if I like.
They built it for me. Everything! It is the nature room that was like a park I'd seen some time ago. The one with the stairs that led up to the house. Only this time I didn't see the house. And now it is all the things I love to enjoy! The changed it from something not authentic to one with cool breezes and real sand and ocean and sunshine that warms your skin.
I was extremely delighted and thanked both of them very much.
I'm falling asleep.
I didn't want to forget this day.
Aloha and Mahalos,