As many of you know, Ross is a healer.
What I didn't expect is that yesterday would be a healing session with him for me.
He was careful to make sure I was rested, fed, and relaxed before he started his work. Lie in the sun. Eat your lunch. Do one Sudoku in your comfortable chair.
Write...
I got out my notebook and pen.
The First Question
Q: Who is the most important person in your life experience?
A: (I gave many answers--each time meeting with the repeating of the question, gently and with kindness, until I 'got it right') My baby daddy.
The point is that the most important person in your life (my son's father, the one who made me a mom, and is still involved in co-parenting) might not be someone you like or even likes YOU. You might not even live with them. Our relationship is civil, and we cooperate in the ninety-percentile of 'good co-parenting relationships' according to the court.
The most important person in my life shattered my dreams and forced me to face my abandonment issues I had struggled with my whole life by genuinely abandoning me.
I wasn't so sure why I was getting this lesson...
The Second Question
Q: Where would you be in your life is you hadn't been gang-raped by those neighborhood boys when you were four years old?
A: (I had to pause to not remember the devastation and the horror so I could answer) I would be a mother of five, with grandkids here already, and working to support all of them.
He looked at me, and asked further, 'And where would you be on your mission?'
The point is that some of our WORST experiences in life lock us into a situation that makes it nearly impossible for us to miss our calling to our life mission. Through that 'gift' as Mother Teresa would call it, I was unable to form healthy romantic relationships, I had PTSD, I wanted to help others not experience pain in surgery, my compassion went through the roof, and my courage to speak up for those in need of healing and protection crystallized. My resolve to help bring the feminine, intuitive side into conventional medicine--by bringing Reiki into the O.R. and 'coming out' as a medium and psychic in the workplace--is unwavering.
Even though these things were making sense, I was starting to get very, very upset. And cry.
Yes, Ross was making me cry, and I couldn't understand it!
The Third Question
Q: If you could go anywhere in the world right this minute, where would you go?
A: (I had to think about it) Kona Village. It is my heaven on earth. I sought its comfort. FAST.
This is a resort with no TV and no phones and no radio, where you get a little hale (Hah-Lay) house with no locks on the doors, all meals are included, and you can snorkel and kayak and paddle board all day. It got destroyed with the tsunami, and is no longer open.
He looked at me and asked further, 'Didn't your boy cut his leg on some a'a lava, and have to go to the emergency room on Saturday night?' and he kept on, 'Didn't you almost get swept out to sea when the current overtook your kayak, and your boy was with you, but he couldn't help paddle because he was too little, and you fought with all your might to get back to shore?'
Then I lost it completely.
I cried and cried and cried in the misery of the truth, the painful truth.
And he wasn't taking one step to comfort me.
In fact, when I told him, 'If you are wanting to motivate me to do my paperwork I am dreading--this is a powerful way of doing it indeed!'
And he got hurt.
I have never once seen Ross get angry or upset with me. Ever. He said, bewildered, 'I did you a FAVOR!'
At that I gave a 'time out' with my hands. I had to explain it to him, because Ross didn't understand the hand signal, what it meant. I said, 'We are hurting each other and I don't know why and I want it to stop until we can resolve the issue.' He shot back, 'What is there to resolve?'
And I left my body, my form, and went to another dimension. I sat in fetal position, well, with my energy as best as I could without a body. He followed me, and asked, 'Why did you do this?' I explained, plainly, 'I hope this way I will understand what you are trying to get me to know.'
He left.
I was all alone in this spiritual 'space' that I wasn't sure how I got there or how I would come back.
He came back, after calming down, and escorted me here again.
Before it could start back up again at my house, I went up to the place I go for answers, Divine Father in his office. Father is always calm and this time was very helpful at helping me see things from Ross' point of view. Rapidly, I gained perspective and returned in a moment back to Ross.
I asked two questions of him, in return:
- Did I invite you to do this healing or did you invite me? And did I understand what was to take place?
- Why is this healing being done?
He stopped in his tracks. (Out of the corner of my eye I could see Divine Father giving me a thumbs up). Simply, he said, 'this was the last thing that was keeping you from Ascension. Welcome to the Higher Realms.'
He had no idea how thick the amnesia is, or how painful it is to be exposed rapidly to Divine Truth on our own perception of our Life Experience.
He wanted this--us releasing together whatever it was in spirit--'those last five pounds' if you will--he wanted us to release together everything that was holding us back as a couple.
And because of his Galactic nature, he didn't estimate the effect it would have on my end of the healing experience. It HURT and was painful to my heart center. It ached as these misperceptions were taken away from me.
It also HURT because if I can't understand, and the questions keep being asked, I feel like I am BAD in some way otherwise I would not 'deserve' being HURT...it's unconscious belief...
It also HURT because if I can't understand, and the questions keep being asked, I feel like I am BAD in some way otherwise I would not 'deserve' being HURT...it's unconscious belief...
The lesson here for all of you is that Love Is The Solution For Everything--it is the ONLY vibration of teaching that will not cause pain in the person who is of the lower vibration.
Even if you have an incredible amount of Love and Trust between you--Ross and I are Twin Flame Souls!--this process has a risk to hurt.
And.....sometimes it is better to let sleeping dogs lie.
Right now, I can see the wonderful gift that Ross has given me. I have eyes that see past the 'baloney' of my own perception. Further, I am able to understand first-hand the risk of 'forcing the flower to bloom before it is ready'--and to love and support those set to awaken, and newly awakening in Spirit, with compassion, courage and faith that everything is happening for the best.
It was a difficult lesson, for both of us. For Ross because I could not grasp the motivation of kindness behind the lesson. All I could feel was the pain. And for me because of the amnesia being so very thick and difficult to dislodge from my soul.
Once he understood that I was truly, at a loss to understand with my heart what my mind so clearly knew what Truth, Ross held me and comforted me and promised he would never teach me a lesson like that again. He had miscalculated the severity of the amnesia I have.
Now we are on the same page, and there is no miscommunication whatsoever between our two hearts.
Such is life with a long-distance relationship across the veil!
Rude by Magic
We cool!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Reiki Doc
