You Can't Tell By Looking
I was admiring a surgeon's Pandora bracelet at "Pasta Wednesdays for Doctors" as we ate with an OB-GYN at the table on the patio. It looked beautiful on her, and I had just bought some charms for my 'mother in law'--my son's grandmother recently from the same line of jewelry.
I don't know how that led to the next disclosure by my friends, but I was surprised very much to learn that both of them were cheap, and prided themselves on it. The husband who bought the bracelet for the surgeon, an eye doctor, apparently is very cheap too!
I had no idea! They looked normal, and seemed normal in every way. The only ones who were cheap I knew, are: my son's father's family (Scottish frugality that this Sicilian can't quite understand), my friend the pharmacist in San Diego whose family would drive across town to save like, two cents a gallon (but how much gas did it take to drive across town?), and my old Aunt Jean, who made her kids use store brand toothpaste, gave me a day planner that was two years old, and drove a diesel Mercedes and was a multi-millionaire.
If you pride yourself on being 'cheap', there is no judgement on you. However, I will say for the record, that limited resources are a very third-dimensional concept that does not exist anywhere else in the cosmos. And that further, the ability to manifest using the laws of the universe is not exercised by priding yourself on being 'tight' with your money. So I will say, 'you just might want to think about it.'
Money is a MEANS to get to do things you want to do.
Money is NOT a goal in itself.
This is how the Universe works.
This is not to say 'don't save for a rainy day' or 'go to Vegas and bet the house'.
Here is an example of what I am trying to say:
- Last night I went to Au Lac, my favorite vegetarian/vegan restaurant where I am close to the owner Mai and Chef Ito.
- Mai, is always generous. She gave me a free appetizer and also shared her sticky rice roll her friend Susan had made for her. She put coconut milk on it and it was delicious.
- Mai has given me fifty dollars when I bought a fifty dollar gift certificate for the chef at my hospital, so he could learn about non-meat options (at pasta day he had the fake chicken as 'chicken' and nobody knew so I could eat it)--he got one hundred dollars that way.
- She bought me tickets to Natural Products Expo because last time when I went pretending I was Mai with her badge nobody believed for a minute I was Vietnamese, but they let me in anyway.
- She gave me a hundred dollar gift card last winter so I could participate in her rewards program--I think it's better for her to have gift cards like at star buck s (trying to keep low profile on internet shh!) for her cash flow.
- I realized I should 'give back', so for my nine dollar noodles, I bought a one hundred dollar gift card, and paid with that. Not because I owed her. It was because I love her,; she is starting a second place in downtown L.A., and things are going to be tight for a little while. I wanted to help her like she has done so much for me. <3
Enough. I won't talk about it any more.
Ross wants me to share about my grandma Lucille. My nannu Filippo--husband to nana Angelina--used to call my dad's mother 'La Vecchia'--the old cow--in Sicilian.
She was cheap.
He used to smile and ask me when I saw him about her. In his thick Italian accent he would inquire how much money she gave me last time I saw her?
Then he would tap his shirt pocket and take out his small plastic sleeve with his driver's license and money. He would ask me, how much would you like, Carla?
One dollar nannu. You should keep your money. You need it.
And he would say, 'ah HA!' and click his tongue and pull out FIVE dollars, and give it to me, not saying a word.
Italians are that way. He is my godfather and my grandfather. And I value the lesson he taught me--you can't put a price tag on people you love. They are worth so much more than most people realize. For me, I was a kid, and I was only young once. Five dollars meant a lot of candy bars and doll clothes to me back then. He knew I didn't have any way to earn money. He worked HARD in construction work. He dug the holes for the new street lights to go into. He came to America when he was forty years old. He did hard labor until he was sixty five.
Every time I see a street light, I smile, and think of how much his Light gave me wisdom, confidence, and grace.
Manifesting In Action
Yesterday was a good day. I had a special request case. It took all day. I was sad because I missed the pho friday at the doctor's dining room for lunch. I also missed the free shave ice because my case ended after two.
Well, I found that there is MORE shave ice at nine p.m., from my friend in the cafeteria. I told my friend who is on OB who also missed it to come back.
The trick to manifesting is not to have an emotional connection to the outcome.
I had milk and a piece of German chocolate cake--super tiny--instead. Then I waited. I waited an hour and a half for a twenty minute case. On a child--I love doing anesthesia for pediatric patients. After I had gotten to know the patient and the parents, my relief came. I said, if you don't mind I will just do this case? He said okay, but if there are extras, you take my call, and I go home. There is a GI case at seven. What could I do? I know he has three toddlers and preschoolers at home, which he never sees. I know he lives one hour away. I had a birthday party for my 'mother in law' that I wasn't invited to, and my boy was there. So I accepted his offer.
I spoke with the nurses, and asked if they would mind between cases if I went to grab dinner? I would have my phone with me? They said sure. I wanted my pho...
Well I never heard from them. It was close to start time, and I called in--guess what? They didn't need me! And as I drove to go home, I thought, I have my massage membership I just started last month (this is a big healing for me to go back to massage--it's been ten years--my ex is a massage therapist). So instead of heading home, I asked if there were any openings. There were! Just one, about twenty minute wait.
So I took it. I experienced deep relaxation I had never felt before (my back and shoulders and ankles are in knots 24/7 due to pushing gurneys, intubating patients, and standing a lot). I also got a referral to something new, Reflexology because 'my ankles are tight'...
Preparing The Bride
Blessed Mother came to me last night during my massage. A big benefit of massage for me is time to connect to spirit. My therapist had a name like Haniel, so I really relaxed and let go. So I was surprised to have heard her, for I haven't heard her in quite some time.
She said to enjoy the massage. It is part of my preparation as a bride for Ross.
I was totally confused. I was like, 'me? how? aren't we married?'
It was her joy and delight that made me understand this was indeed true! That, and she showed me a picture of what back in the day, Jewish brides did--the bath, the dressing, the henna.
She also showed me that in his chamber, Ross is getting ready like this too. I waved at him and he smiled and waved back.
Then I prayed. I prayed in my heart for me to be the most shining beautiful heart I could ever be just for him.
And I also prayed for everyone to be able to hear their angels like me.
I don't have anything to say. It is a secret for Carla, and I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise. I love her in all ways, 24/7, from my heart. This crosses all time and dimensions and distance that there might be between us.
Yesterday morning, Carla realized in her heart, that one day she might be doing her ordinary day's chores like she was, but one day it will be the day she would get to see my face, meeting in our dimension, and changing her life forever to be with me, heart and soul, for all eternity.
She got a new bounce in her step! And she realized that if today it doesn't happen, well, that makes her one day closer to the day that it will. And that gave her joy too.
I showed her my face closely in meditation, as a dry run for when that meeting takes place. Although she sees my face, this time I showed in 'HD' if you will, with warmth and emotion and flesh.
She had tears in her eyes, tears of joy and asked me if this really could be happening? She touched my face gently, all over, then rested her head on my chest--I am much taller than she is--and just cried tears of relief at the nightmare of duality and the veil and the matrix being OVER.
I took that meditation away, because Carla had to work. But on her way home, in the car, she thanked me for that vision, and shared that she will cry for sure when we meet, and not to be concerned about it as they are tears of joy.
I startled her. I looked deeply in her eyes, and said when it is our time, I am pretty certain that I might cry too. Tears of joy to have her back with me, forever.
This confession of mine meant more to Carla than anything I have ever said in all my time of knowing her...
Aloha and Mahalos,
The Love Birds Ross and Carla, Reunited Twins, and Healers on this page, Doctors With Reiki