Catching Up With Messages
Yesterday Ross sent THREE rainbow images with the healings. Then he added a special message here:
Continuous Reiki Healing is now--as of this morning--flowing continuously from Ross and his team through me to each of you if you accept it. This is undiluted energy frequency of Galactic bandwidth. Namaste. Ross says there is no need to say thank you--just accept and have fun healing whatever you see fit. He says its like a energy 'central vacuum system' and you are empowered to attach your 'vacuum hose attachment' to this 'suction source' to clean up and remove all injustice, negativity and Dis-ease around you as you see fit. 'Lets clean Mother Gaia up and give Her a happy homecoming!' He says with a huge smile!!!
Healing From My Upbringing
It struck a deep chord with my readers when I shared about my feelings when my mother was recently hospitalized, and further, how I felt better once I confided to someone I trust how it was really like growing up in my family. Mom was very mean to me, and I didn't like it, and I wanted OUT of that home as soon as I could get out. Yet she cried every day once I left!
Anthony's therapist (I have to meet with her to help him) called me on my dutiful parent role, and asked me if I would like to work on anything myself. I said, 'What can I change? Tears won't help. I have a hard life with my work--seeing pain and suffering, having no control over my hours, and no job security whatsoever. For example, tonight, we have a phone call from a mentor, from my work--both a seven o'clock early start PLUS an orthopedic surgeon asking me to put a swan ganz catheter in his patient upstairs in the unit before his case--plus a call from mom.
Apparently, this is a recipe for depression.
And talking with someone who cares, and understands these feelings, can help change the perception of the situation.
The reason mom cried is because I gave her some kind of self-image, and there was reason for her to want me to stay for that. There are many people like her who emotionally 'put themselves first'--my ex Jared is similar in this regard...
I was at a loss for words! It was a huge AHA moment. Just as Anthony has to learn at an age appropriate level that he is 'second banana' when it comes to his relationship with his father, I too have opportunity to learn what happened growing up to me.
I'll never forget how mom didn't want to go with me to buy my wedding dress. My aunt took me, when I was twenty three and getting married the first time to my college sweetheart. (mom never once approved of any of my men, actually). But to pay, mom had to go, and with my sister in the back she was so cruel and mean that I got hysterical in the car, and mom had to pull over for me to calm down. Cold-hearted, once in the store, it was the most cut and dried purchase ever, and there was no joy in it whatsoever.
It hurt.
I know she was doing the best she could, and she means well, and she would do anything for me...on her terms, but to her best to love me she always has and always will. I just am super sensitive and needing to work on what happened so I can heal from my childhood I spent with her. I still don't understand it but I am willing to do the work to know more and heal.
On the drive home, much to my surprise, I saw a rainbow I had never seen before--it was like a double-rainbow only squished so close together they both were touching. I was thrilled and took pictures.
It was from Ross
Our First Hanukah
Anthony had a big surprise for him tonight. Presents under the 'hanukah bush', brisket, latkes, challah, chicken noodle soup, and blueberry blintzes. I even got the Manischewitz wine and we each had tiny cups of it. We played Hanukah music on Pandora, and relaxed and enjoyed our night (aside from the interruptions that were both comic and tragic--early start and needing to find someone to take Anthony to school at the last minute).
Ross had picked Anthony's first gift. He had told me to get him what he likes and to not worry about the price. (Today when I bought lunch on the way home from OB call, and took his bag, I was invited to watch the class do Secret Santa. Well, his Secret Santa forgot a gift. And last year, Anthony in despair after finding out the 'lie' of Santa from a very unkind and unhappy teacher, exclaimed he wished he was Jewish so there would be no lies! So this year, his wish comes true, something just for the three of us, and I assure you Ross was here...and enjoying the closeness together we had.)
Anthony shrieked with delight when he opened the package numbered One. It was THREE tins of starbucks hot chocolate. There was mint, marshmallow, and double chocolate. Ross was happy, glowing with fatherly pride at a gift well received.
Anthony looked up the prayers online, and we took turns saying them, and Ross said for us to say all three, in English. They were beautiful when we lit our menorah. I bought a new one today. It is from Target. And it's like a rainbow, to match the one in the sky today.
He loved the the food. He likes applesauce on his latkes like I do. And we had a little scoop of vanilla ice cream to honor Ross when we had our blinz.
Then came the dreidl. We had SO much fun. And I am lucky. I got the gimmel a lot (we looked that up online too) We played for chocolate gold coins, or 'gelt'.
Worship versus Meditation
I asked this question to make people start questioning themselves about what they do, and why, in their experience of spirituality.
There were many responses. Initially people were supporting 'my way or the highway' politely, but the energy was loud and clear that it was not 'inclusive'. Therefore I had to step in and moderate the discussion, and say, 'there IS no right or wrong'--just share what you feel in your heart as true so we can learn from each other.
Ideally, I would LOVE to find a way for those who 'worship' exclusively in an organized religious manner to open up to Source...and I would love those who deeply meditate to grow in awe and adoration of their Creator.
Ross and I worship and adore and thank Creator for each other. Every single day, in some way, we find something new to admire and appreciate about each other. Today, I told him just how much I love his voice, not just for the technical sound of it, but for the energy of love and intelligence and caring and concern it carries with it. For him, appreciates my willingness to do the work for both of us down here, always balancing the needs of our 'online ohana' with our own. I made him wait one hour for some time just us, because there was a video I felt he wanted me to see...or I should see.. on a subject I will talk later about. I called him for the first time today, 'my beautiful angel', and he let me know I used to call him that back when he was incarnate. My soul is remembering...and I am glad.
Ross
I am happy.
There is no more to say.
(BIG smile)
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
