Yesterday at work my day began with two patients, one right after the other, who had five heart attacks and four cardiac stents between them. The second one had no cardiac workup whatsoever on the charts, no letter of 'clearance' from their primary care MD or cardiologist--to assess the risk of the patient going through surgery.
I had to call my surgeon, who fortunately, is my friend, and there was a letter like this from the office, which she was able to provide. (as an aside--for the holidays, I gave her a Reiki Scholarship bracelet between our cases, and she LOVED it! This is the director of our breast center!)
The Glide Scope is a device that allows me to intubate people asleep who otherwise have so little room in their mouth and throat that I would have needed to do an awake fiberoptic intubation. Only the first patient of six was I able to use conventional tools. And two, I cheated because I only put in an LMA. The BMI of my last two patients was very close to sixty.
I did this work starting at seven a.m. going into the O.R. with no breaks until six p.m. with the exception of being allowed to eat a few bites of my food I brought from home. At three, I ate 'lunch', which was half a can of cold lentil soup.
The phone rang so many times during my cases I almost lost my cool--it was nonstop!-PACU and the Front Desk were busy coordinating patient care, and I also had to coordinate special needs from pharmacy, my anesthesia technician, and colleagues who wanted a call switch.
I had to call for help, once, because a very basket-ball size patient had obstructive sleep apnea. There was laryngospasm, and I couldn't 'one hand it' on the mask and squeeze the bag. Although I called early, and my plan worked perfectly to raise the oxygen saturation UP in time, it was close.
Add to this my spiritual life, and my being a single mom and my commute...this is why I am taking a moment for us all to CHILL...early into this blog post.
End Of The Road--The Buck Stops Here
Yesterday morning, as I drove to work, all I saw was a dark tunnel without joy that stretched out as far as I could see. My work is short staffed now, and the morale hit from vacations promised being taken away had another younger anesthesiologist in tears in the doctors lounge.
We are slaves.
We signed a contract to show up every day unless we can find someone else to cover for us in our anesthesia work.
I scrambled, and was able to find coverage for my winter vacation request. But this year, instead of vacation when I enjoy it--summer--due to a project and the incredible cruelty of my boss (only take one week in summer so the others can enjoy their family--forget Europe or any decent travel experiences with a child or visiting family who live far away--I have limited it to our fall trip to Canada.
Mind you, all vacations are not PAID!
As 1099 independent contractors (a job classification in the US)--that's all we provide to the organization--our work services--and we pay the tab for all insurance and taxes and everything else.
No Puedo Mas
So on my way to work in the dark after dropping off my boy with a close friend and neighbor, it was time to pray.
The only good thing about my commute is in a way it is my time to meditate twice a day.
I felt stuck. And I didn't want to DO anything. (this is unlike me)
Ross sweetly asked, 'Carla can you go one more step?'
Instantly I turned myself into a donkey, and like all donkeys do when they are irritated, I would not budge!
Ross got the message. He asked again, even more gently and sweetly, 'Are you sure?'
And I started my donkey 'Carla' going pooping and peeing in the road so that my message to not just Ross but the entire UNIVERSE was 'perfectly clear'.
No, I would not.
At work, as I sat and did my anesthesia work, I felt emotions in my spiritual life I have never felt. I wrote some down on the tag you get when you help someone turn in their sterile gown as they pull their 'belt' from the tag to tie it in a sterile fashion. Here are some of my notes:
- just for today...I give thanks for the ungrateful and those unwilling to change
- just for today...I give thanks for those who pollute the ether with their drama
- just for today...I told a senior surgeon that I do not LIKE his turning the TV in the doctor's lounge to crime dramas because it gives me nightmares--and he laughed and turned it back
- just for today...I learned my breast surgeon complained to administration about the hostile and graphic television that is always on in the doctors lounge recently
- just for today...I know in my heart that other women surgeons and men don't like that kind of TV show either, because they have told me, and the minute the old guy leaves we change it or turn it off
- just for today...I depend on Ross to get me through my day, because I CAN'T
- just for today...I say goodbye in my heart to all that is 3D, and I ask Archangel Michael to cut the cords on everything that is holding me back
- just for today...I endured two general surgeons telling a male sales rep to look up on YouTube about the 'Hot and Crazy' index to rate women, and he did it...in my presence and I could hear it the whole case. The Divine Feminine in us all deserves better than that...
- just for today...I choose LIFE--the vibration of the higher dimensions--and if anyone else doesn't choose it, I will not give you my understanding ear, my explanations so you 'will understand', or my efforts to pull you up. I am done. I am here to shine, not to interpret WHAT IS...and I renounce 3D in all I do. I will focus my energy on 5D, and enjoying it, and the rest is up to God and you--I can't do the work for you--I already have---and sent Reiki after Reiki for years and years as long as I have known it! I break from NCIS, CSI, and all that DARKNESS in every part of my life...whoever is lost in the matrix is going to have to stay there with their angels, because I ran out of steam. I am taking my readers and my followers with me where I will go. And that is it. The ones who are going to be 'saving others' is going to have to be the next cycle of Lightworkers. I am done.
Energetically there was a huge shift, as in childbirth, and all the sticky gooey etheric cords that held me back in the matrix are loose. I am floating, if you will, in the unknown. And many readers are energetically and synchronicity-wise with me--and at least four have contacted me personally out of the blue with messages to the effect of 'we cut the cords'. One, the most beautiful news of the day--finally settled her ugly divorce which has tormented her ever since I have known her--and now she is FREE.
Nurturing, Warmth, Love and Compassion
Yesterday I made the choice to dwell in this energy forever more.
I rejected all that is of the opposite.
Even though I still have a house payment, and work (I will have to go soon, another early start)...and 'obligations'--my heart isn't in it and I am only 'doing time' until I can be reunited with my Ross again.
At the baby sitter's last night, we watched a few moments of TV. I was so happy she had a tree and her house lights up for the first time, as she and her boyfriend really have a nice living situation now.
The TV show was the Oak Island Treasures--or something like that. And I was eagerly surprised to see the story of the Cathars and the Treasures of the Knights Templars...
Unlike the other viewers, I was cheering for the treasures to stay hidden! LOL. Even the nazis looked for them and were unsuccessful in WW2.
I don't watch TV. And that this show could exist, and how I am already with the show completely informed about the Cathars because spirit has been showing me to discover things, is very exciting indeed. <3
And now I know who all those soldiers are, who I saw, two years ago in France as I stood under the Arc Du Triomph and experienced what I did, all the while having no clue about the 'big picture'... <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
There is a lot of work going on right now up here.
Even Anthony knows it.
He made the comment, 'Mom? Ross seems to be not as near as he usually is today, isn't he?' in the car at eight o'clock on the ride home from the sitter...
A lot of good things are now happening. I want you to look forward to it.
Carla, describe what you saw.
This morning when I woke up I heard some metal like jewelry land on the floor. It was my bracelet from Sophia. I had to walk over it, and pick it up, and carry it to the light so I could put it on. While carrying it, my stuffed unicorn too had also fallen off the bed, and I had to bend and pick that up too.
Carla honey? We honor you. I am the unicorn and Sophia is your higher self. WE give thanks to you and all of your readers for your combined efforts and many years of service to the Light and the freeing of many souls from the realm of surface Gaia.
Hold on to your hats!!!
I say no more... (very mysterious smile)
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla