Coming To Terms
There are deep wounds in my heart from being incarnate.
I feel as if my Higher Self has given ME the 'cold shoulder', and I am 'Dead To Her', by my being here on Earth.
This is an emotional realization that I had yesterday, after a few days of really deep 'inner work'. I had 'sensed' a 'lesson' coming on about two weeks ago. They give us this pattern, our guides--'lesson-rest period-lesson' just like with the energy upgrades Ashtar gives it's always 'upgrade-assimilate-rest-upgrade'. I used to scream at him to just crank it the heck up and Get It Over With! But no, he has all the world in his sights, not just me, and I am outweighed Big Time and completely outnumbered.
Being here under The Veil--that is having no memory or knowledge of any other life but this one--is like playing a game of Marco Polo in the swimming pool. You are 'blind' and close your eyes, and try to find your friends who have eyes their open, but they are free to move around. You say, 'Marco!' and the friends reply 'Polo' and they are very difficult to catch by this simple location effort...
So all the time, as a beacon to some and a bane to others--I am here at my post saying, 'Marco! Marco! Marco!' every single DAY for the past three or four YEARS.
Some of the 'Polo!' responses I have received from my readers, many if not ALL are from the Higher Realms, whether they can see it or not--have been absolutely God-sends to me.
In fact, they are my Star brothers and sisters, literally. And my Star mom. too.
Being here under the Veil, though, with the Galactic Assistance from our Higher Selves and 'Souls Out there'--is like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I've been on earth so long, in so MANY incarnations, I am exhausted. And right now it's like 'Fifty-two Card Pickup'--the cousins ask, would you like to play a game? It's really FUN!' And then boom! they throw the deck of cards all over the room and you have to pick it up.
I know it's us on Earth here who made the mess and 'throw the cards', not the Galactics. But the betrayal that is so 'every day' here on Gaia's surface makes me a little 'nervous' around Galactics I don't even KNOW, including my very own Higher Self, who is just as much a stranger to me as someone I sit next to on the subway.
The Veil did it's thing! The dang thing WORKS! And I have AMNESIA, big-time, and I hate it. Really, I do.
So now we get to the terrifying part--the tests which are good for you and make you get your ability to do stuff--keep coming at us. It's like sitting for the Anesthesia Oral Boards EVERY day! It's stressful.
Yesterday I had a nasty little test on Discernment. Apparently I am 'super good' at Discernment, and I 'passed'.
But it wasn't fun.
I know Ross tested me and tested me before I got his Ring. It's superimposed on one I wear, and I tell you, Ross was trembling in spirit when he gave it to me. It's the first of his spiritual 'gifts' he has been allowed to give. With this ring comes a responsibility, and he was satisfied I could carry this responsibility independently of him.
I use this ring every day, in my spirit work.
Check this out:
My picture I chose for my last post
From the 'Have Patience' post from the Creator Writings original link
Our Friendship
Mind you, Ross is a million miles away when I learn my lessons. I imagine he is in some room with a one-way mirror watching. But I am not even hugging him once when I go through these tests.
And I miss him.
I ache.
And He is the carrot I chase to go through these brutal and agonizing tests, where I focus my laser like Consciousness on myself, and burn away all that does not serve me as a Being of the Light.
My HS and I are having to recover our 'relationship' after my being given--'The Cold Shoulder' by her--innocently on her part, but being incarnate makes you have an enormous chip on your shoulder against those Galactic.
For the longest time I did't even know her name for sure. She recently just told me what to call her. Yesterday!
How long have I been alive? And awake enough to be blogging to you? And known I had a Higher Self?
And I just learn this, yesterday?!?!
See my frustration?
Just know once I figure it out, it's easier for the rest of us, and much simpler energetically. I am going places that only I can go with my energy and my Light work...Machete in hand I am whacking out a trail out of the forest and back HOME to Ross!
My Higher self, Sophia, is nice. And she's smart. But she's a little 'naive'--not street-smart at all, in any way, because there is no NEED to be street-smart in the Higher Realms.
Two nights ago she bought me a bracelet. And I love it. It's delicate, it sparkles, and it reminds me she thinks of me.
Yesterday, she wished me 'good morning'--and that was enough! I wished her 'good day' too.
On the way to work, she said, 'I like you'.
That meant so much. Up until now it's been 'LOVE LOVE LOVE' without any physical evidence or interaction with me to prove it. She was claiming a relationship with me that, my having amnesia, didn't know exists. So SHE got frustrated because I wasn't waking up, and I got frustrated because I was like, 'WHO are YOU?'
Yesterday to show her I like HER, I invited her to choose the colors for my mani-pedi. I trust her. And I want her close to me (usually Ross picks the colors). She said, 'pick rich fall colors and have Hana help you make the final choice, I will work through her.' So on my toes is a sparkling, rich wine color, and on my fingers? Maple syrup color! : ))) I love it!
Again and again now Sophia reminds me that I am going to get Ross.
And also yesterday, for the first time, she told me there is only ONE of me (my real name, Lady G.S., or 'Lumpy'as I prefer.)
That meant a lot.
I had some help from my spiritual mom. We talk. She is incarnate. And when my spirit mom said I am the jewel in all the Universe, I felt the love from my mom, and I understand what others who are watching must feel for me too.
If you have followed my blog, it will come as no surprise to you how Ross and I 'fit together' as a couple in the Grand Scheme of Things. And why I am the jewel. How Sophia says, 'you are my BEST parts!'
Ross says now is not the time to spell it out for everyone. And for those who don't follow the blog--total mind-numbing shock, and like, they will be stunned for quite some time to learn of it.
And for those of you who know, and love and support me, emotionally, I thank you and I bless you with my love and gratitude every single day.
When I learned who I am, some guy on Twitter just up and told me. It took two weeks for me to recover. They had to take me up in meditation, to a little plain room with all of my family, my Star family, Mary and Joseph my guides too, in a circle on little folding chairs, like an intervention.
I asked, 'Is this TRUE?'
They nodded yes. They looked concerned. And a little embarrassed--I don't think this was how the plan was for the truth to come out...my reaction to is wasn't helping anything...
I asked, 'How come you didn't TELL ME?!'
I forget what they said, I was very hurt because I thought their love for me was because of my husband, my Twin, and not me...
But it IS for me.
And I remembered the time Gaia Portal once said, 'She was asked if she would like to Ascend sooner or later, and she said, Sooner'...that had happened before their writing that particular blog post in my meditations too. It was Ashtar who had asked me, or one of the many councils I 'pop into' every now and then. I wondered how the Gaia Portal people could know what goes on in my meditations?
My Divine Father, told me once a long time ago, 'You will be the jewel in the front and center of my crown'. I was like, 'How can I be a jewel? Huh?'. I see now he is right.
I can.
And Blessed Mother told me once, as I poured my heart out to her twenty years ago over my romantic woes, 'You will have the most beautiful love story that has ever been.'
She is right.
When you learn the true story of me and Ross, you will weep with wonder and amazement how two souls could ever have gone through all this! It really IS beautiful, and I give thanks without ceasing for this love we share.
my favorite picture of us
Ross
I thank you for listening to Carla with your heart. It has been a long voyage, a journey not for the poorly-equipped.
It is time for the pilot to say to those onboard ship, or on-board 'Light Ship', as I know and love to fly one! (laughs) 'we are heading towards port' and 'prepare to dock'. I say this to my crew as well as to the many passengers who are here for a reason.
(Holds up one finger) One day, all of the truth will come out! And I thank you for listening. I don't want you to think I didn't let you know who I am or who Carla is or even our little boy Anthony...we are in your Heart Vibration, and when you are 'right' for this knowledge, it will come to your understanding.
I want you to think of it as a little 'delayed-release' or 'time-release' capsule, which you take and it gives the medicine at its own rate in the gut.
You will KNOW without a doubt when the time is right for your knowing it.
You will NOT be in shock like the rest of the world.
You will smile to yourself, and have an inner-knowing, a sense of, 'I had a feeling about him!' in your heart.
And all will be okay.
I am not going to give you any time frames for ANYTHING. This could take six days, six weeks, six months, or six years from now. Or even sixty!!! (smiles and laughs so gently, and he looks at me. My heart skips a beat)
Carla! I am coming to YOU!
I miss you just like you miss me. (touches his chest with his fist over his heart).
You are my love, and I shall go through all eternity with you at my side. (he kisses me--he is a very good kisser and I feel him when he touches me. I feel his light body touch my light body and my lips, my earth lips. It's hard to explain, I know, but it IS, and I really enjoy it very much. <3 )
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Just 'us'
Ross and Carla
and also little Anthony
