Yesterday I was talking with Ross. I told him I would give up anything for Lent, if it brought me closer to him.
He asked me, 'would you REALLY give up anything?!'
I was like, 'sure! you name it!'--in my years, I have given up wine, coffee, bread, meat, chocolate, cookies/cake...
Then I got this funny idea. I said, 'Ross! I will give up COMPLAINING!'
He looked at me and said, 'well then what after Easter? Are you going to go back to complaining again?'
I felt it in my heart.
I said, 'no'.
I am done with complaining and ready to accept the demands of behaving like an advanced soul at this time.
Basically I am going to be in the mindset of a Galactic, one who understands the Law of Attraction of the Universe, how 'thoughts are things', and I'm going to switch from 'reactionary' to a mix between Mindfulness/being present in the moment/stating my requests as they arise--and the old Mother Teresa thing of calling problems 'gifts'--with a whole LOT of Byron Katie 'the Work' thrown in too.
It tickled Ross to no end that I would have the audacity to do this.
And the most pleased of all? Anthony! He thinks it's delightful and he said, 'you always complain about me; I'm going to like this!'
I took him to Mc Donald's for dinner after his orthodontist appointment. Their food is warm and soft to eat. For the first day of Lent, I had a filet of fish sandwich and a shamrock shake. Anthony found he enjoyed the filet of fish more than the Big Mac (it was his first of that too), so I offered him my sandwich in exchange for his. He loves the shakes. And thankfully, not the Big Mac! It was nice to share french fries with him after a long day.
It's funny, for two or three days, I came to the realization that we have a choice whether or not to be an asshole at any given time, in any given situation. The choice is always ours. The choice is always fresh, every single time. It wasn't without the magic of soul growth that I made the connection that sometimes 'complaining' comes across as 'asshole', even with me! LOL
Yesterday was a highly unproductive day. I unloaded the dishwasher. I was home for the cable guy and the plumber to come fix things.
I didn't do my schedule, or my laundry, or my tasks I had hoped to do.
Even the Reiki I could not send (be assured Ross sent it!).
For I had done fifteen cases in nineteen hours at work, spent the night at the Recovery Room, and woke up early to do a case before the official O.R. schedule started.
It was a very busy call! Anthony had spent the night with his father. And I had missed him.
(By the way, his grandparents sold the house, bought one in Arizona, and are moving away from the area at the end of the month. He's not sad about it. I am. They've helped us so much, me and Jared, with Anthony. I've grown close to them, like a daughter, too.)
For my health? I'm coughing. I feel weak again. No fever. No sore throat. I'm still on antibiotics. Last night I was simply too exhausted to do my nasal rinse. It was all I could do to brush my teeth.
It is hard to heal with the hours that I work.
I'm glad I slept.
As I was in the hospital bed in recovery room, ready to go to sleep, I asked Ross, 'Please, will you take away my calls? Just like you did in O.B.? I want to sleep every night in my own bed please. '
He looked at me funny. He didn't say anything. And next the nurse who had pushed in my bed into the isolation room and got me warm blankets, came in with extra ones and put them on my shoulders and head. She said, 'the patients love this!'...and I saw that when people see me being overworked, sometimes it brings out the best in them, and it's for their highest good.
With the Reiki now, in the O.R., my patients just spontaneously absorb it, like, lots and lots. It's gone beyond the formal Reiki I did so many years ago. I have a feeling or a sense that Spirit lines the ones up who need the healing the most, and it's one after the other after the other for my whole work shift. My skills are needed, both technical and spiritual. So I work with what comes, I don't feel drained, but I work very hard when I am at my post. I think it explains this: https://gaiaportal.wordpress.com/2017/03/01/storms-of-compliance-awaken-the-hu-beings/
The other thing about being on call, is people feel more free to talk. As I woke up a spine patient, the scrub asked me about being psychic. I shared openly. He was like, 'do you ever see a spirit in the O.R.?'
I was like, 'oh yes, all the time, especially for procurements'.
'Have any of them ever tried to scare you?'
I smiled and gently explained how my very high vibration is repellent to the souls who like to scare people, and they stay away, by their own choice.
I told him the hardest part about my gift is getting a 'sense' when someone is going to die. I had it about Margarito--the cleaning person who died of a massive heart attack--and shared how Margarito visited me with a message. after he had passed.
I explained how people in Spirit see me and know I understand and can talk, so they approach me. I wouldn't see them if they didn't step forward and contact me, or I was allowed to see them.
I guess that's about it. And right on time too. It's time for our breakfast.
You know, I looked all over the place. I had a wedding invitation, actually a pair of them, and I lost them! One is for this Friday. I have to ask my mom what time and where the wedding is. Although I have made huge advances in my organization in general, there is still plenty of room for improvement <3
I am doing my best to bring things to your awareness.
Not with Carla but with me.
I work with you, I and my teams.
While you are awake.
While you are asleep you visit YOUR teams.
I am in charge of them.
I see to it personally that you are given the best conditions to foster your role in what you have been assigned for your journey incarnate, your earthwalk.
Carla is going to make breakfast.
I wish you a very good day.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla