Our family has a spectrum on the scale of the service to self 'structure'.
It was fed by mom, and nurtured with dad's frustration at their inability to amass a fortune just because they worked hard and lived in the US. My grandparents also poured gasoline on the fire by telling my mom her house wasn't 'nice enough' and 'she should do better'.
What we are going to talk about today is the effect of Expectations on your interactions with those in your surroundings, what we are here to do about it, and why so many years ago, Ross said he came to set 'family member against family member'.
Ross was the epitome of the 'service to others structure'.
My mother had been told back in Sicily where she is from, that in the US, the streets are 'made of gold' and 'everyone is a millionaire'.
She raised her daughters to have the 'class' to be able to smoothly function in a moneyed environment. She took us to 'charm school'. She coached us.
But in our hearts, to this day, the four of us span a very WIDE spectrum on how much we care what others think, how much we think about money, and how social status influences our life.
Let's start with mom.
She watches the news every day, almost exclusively, and writes letters for political reasons (I suspect each is a highly sophisticated fundraiser that she doesn't know is actually that, and not more important--I've gotten similar letters too.)
She is totally caught up in the world, and my efforts to help her 'see' have come to where she chose not to watch the Academy Awards for the first time in her life, because it's become, 'too political' (her words not mine).
She knows everything that is going on in the family, in the neighborhood, what's going on in people's lives. And people love her, trust her view on life, and seek her for support. She is genuinely loving and caring to everyone she meets.
All the while, she feels she is a 'failure' for not having reached her financial goals in life, deeply regrets her bad investments decisions (she and daddy made one after another, as is typical for someone who 'signed up' for this 'lesson' in their pre-birth contract. The 'lessons' usually come as a major and a minor, and they are the 'one thing you can't ever get right'. )
Fascinatingly enough, mom idolized Mrs. Tyler on All My Children, the rich one who controlled the family with her money, and to this day, she sends a check every time you give her a gift from your heart so 'she doesn't owe anybody anything'.
My sister who is engaged, LIVED that life of Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams, with her boyfriend two relationships ago. She flew on the private jets, she partied with Britney, she went to the Playboy Mansion and those hotels in Beverly Hills where the beautiful people party.
She soaked up everything mom taught, basically, Beauty = Money and Success.
And she is in sales.
Her form of the Service to Self didn't go as high as let's say, a bloodline or invited member of Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart.
It's dangerously close.
I won't go into the details but the 'dreams' of mom are coming true vicariously for her through this daughter, and they reinforce each other.
I was offered 'makeup and hair help' for the wedding as a gesture of 'love' from the bride, sort of a 'peace offering' I suppose, but I don't really understand it. We are just on completely different frequency.
The next sister is totally devoted to her family, as well as to her community through her social organization the National Charity League. Again, this one listened enough to mom, and has reached certain 'stratus' or 'status' none of us ever will reach. But there is always the comparison, between the people who have even MORE than her.
Million dollar home.
Not the best health.
And sometimes she snaps and says a 'Queen Bee' thing that really hurts, just to keep you in line.
Well, what about me?
I studied hard to do what I love, and I had times where I wanted the pampered life--not the show, not the status--but the security.
Again, I said, 'as a doctor I will always be able to eat' to get myself through the rigorous training and lifestyle.
I have no control over my time.
I spend my waking hours catering to others.
And being on a team.
I am on the cutting edge of the future of medicine and healing.
And my life is an open book for my readers.
Do I even THINK of the things mom said?
I live MY life. And Divine Creator--both Divine Mother and Divine Father--is a very big part of it.
I have chosen a modest home, my cars again are 'nice'--I like to have a car when I step on the gas on an onramp it is a little 'peppy'. I prefer vacations and experiences over 'things'. And my social circle is mostly people I have met through raising Anthony. My social circle online is much bigger.
We are each doing the best we can in the context of our lessons. (Mine is Love--I can't get that one right with anyone incarnate--which is fortunate and a good thing--because I apparently have 'saved myself for my Beloved' and done a good job of it!)
I hope I have spread out the possibilities the mind and the heart can take, here within my family, as an example for you.
Now here is what we do about it:
- accept (that THEIR progress in THEIR lessons is different from yours)
- allow (without being stepped on or trampled by their unknowing--Ross chose to be annihilated as an example--you don't need to be him)
- Love unconditionally (this is the only cure for their ailment, it always works, but perhaps not right away with evidence of results)
Here is what inspired today's message: https://johnsmallman.wordpress.com/2017/03/05/humanitys-awakening-involves-addressing-and-releasing-all-its-core-issues/
Can I unconditionally love my sister who is a Bridezilla and has trampled our relationship to the point of nearly ending it in her quest to be everything mom wants her to be? The one who has no clue of how painful her choices are to others, and furthermore, how it is not only the gravest Faux Pas for a Sicilian to do to her two sisters, but has no desire to soothe the worst pain one female can do to another in public? Someone who is in a 'bubble' of her own 'joy' (I wish there was an S so I could put a $$$ in the spelling of 'joy')...
YES I can, yes I will, being humble, kind, never jealous or envious, never haughty or selfish or rude...the whole time.
Because it is the only thing that will work and set ME free!
I don't want to be tied into that Vibration of hers, not again, it's too uncomfortable for me, it's a stretch.
This goes with everyone whose Vibration is lower than you. You don't let them drag you down to their level. Not even in your mind, which likes to mull over these things.
You take the opportunity to Anchor in YOUR vibration to the situation, and give them the chance to raise theirs--and for them possibly to AWAKEN.
It's the only way out of an otherwise win-lose situation.
Always WIN by committing to yourself to always be LOVING.
Every single time.
clap! clap! Carla has been late to work recently and has to go make breakfast. Make the oatmeal Carla. And the little chicken sausages too.
I will write more later. Through John. Then Carla can post it and critique it, with my comments at the bottom at the end.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple