Monday, March 6, 2017

Renewal






This post will be even shorter than my last.

I experienced a weekend like I used to when I was a child.

It was most needed, and most reaffirming for Life.

Friday I was shown caring when I was in trouble of missing a family wedding--by both my colleagues and my middle sister's family.  It looked like I wasn't going to leave work on time, I bailed and asked my sister to bring Anthony--which is a long drive for them to come pick him up from school. They did it in a heartbeat, for which I am grateful.

A case cancelled at the last minute, and I was able to leave the hospital, buy a card, and go home to dress up in my most beautiful dress I own.

The wedding was at the Nixon library. The Nixons were in the White House when I was a child. I took many photos of the flowers, the reflecting pond, and also, their burial site.

It meant so much to be invited. The bride was very sweet and wanted everyone to feel welcome and to have a wonderful time.

Everyone did.

On Saturday we slept in. And spent most of the day with some close friends we hadn't seen in a few years. Their boys were taller. Yet we picked up where we left off.

They are my family, this family of Romanians. We are family by having raised our sons together as friends. The boys shared the same tub after dinners, then we would put them in their pajamas...I was filled with wonder and delight for the chance to spend time with this beautiful family again. We had lunch, let the boys play laser tag, had dinner and watched the Lego Batman movie which was surprisingly enjoyable.

We came home and Anthony wanted to watch one of his favorite movies. I watched too, and made three bracelets. I also found some I had stored away to sell, and since I am not really doing online sales of them at the moment, I will give them away. Watch FB and Twitter for the pictures of them in the coming weeks.

Yesterday I woke up late. I invited Anthony to walk with me to Starbucks, so we could catch Pokeman. We did. It was wonderful exercise and an adventure all in one, for usually we DRIVE there!

Then there was a birthday party at the local K1 speed place.  I was touched by the parents. All three of their children go to Anthony's school. They are really good parents, really kind people, whose hearts are filled with love. And I felt an honor to be with them and their friends as their oldest son turned twelve. I've never seen their boy with a bigger smile. And their youngest daughter can't wait to grow so she can race the cars too.

Anthony and a boy had just started a game of pool when they were called back with the rest of the party for a second race.

I finished it.

That's when I sent the healings and Reiki. There was a deep sense of satisfaction as I made the symbols in my mind's eye, and, more often than not, finished each one with a SMACK of the cue ball and a ball going into the pocket. I'm not the best at pool, and sometimes the ball didn't go in, but it more often than not lined itself up for an even better shot the next time!

I was amazed at the intelligence of the children. At the end of the party they had figured out how to get free play off the basketball machines by using the pool cue sticks to get the basketballs out!  I didn't want them to break the machine, and made them stop. But that's how bright they are!

Even the not so fun part of last night was easier.

The rabbit had poopy butt really bad again. But this time, Anthony washed her as I held her and comforted her. It came off quicker, we didn't have to dunk her, and she was back to eating again once we let her dry in her cage that we placed back in the bird's room.

As I went to sleep, I asked for Ross and my guides.  There's lots of changes here. Lots of them. Builders keep creating gigantic housing apartments complexes in the cities near us. Traffic is getting worse. I go to work every day. But when we walked to Starbucks, we crossed a creek, and Anthony responded just like I felt--we were delighted to see Nature. There had been a small lake that had been filled to build one of these apartment buildings.  The beautiful California Pepper trees are scheduled for 'trimming' this week, people can't park in the area (they are only told not to park when they are to be cut), and our eucalyptus is at risk too. The island is going to be replanted with succulents, which I dislike immensely, and the board and management company make no bones that they want the residents NOT to be able to walk on them. A neighbor moved out. A renter. I have no idea who is to move in.

So I'm asking for Ross to be the husband, for Ross to guide me.

My in-laws--Anthony's father's parents--are relocating to Arizona. His uncle--who we aren't close to--is talking of relocating to Washington State. And his father will be forced to move because his brother wants his share of the house they bought together.

Housing is expensive. I love our home, our location. I'm not sure how wise it is to be connected to an Association who treats old people harshly at board meetings, given the fact I'm aging too. The dues to the Association don't offer much value, and yet, if I don't pay they can take a lien and sell my house.

So I asked to be shown how to live near the water, for guidance where to go both for my retirement and Anthony's high school, as well as for where to work until I retire. I really haven't saved enough. And I ask Ross, how come we are still here? Where are the changes? Will there be financial relief? What about Health Care?

It helps to be able to have these types of conversations with him.

Now I start my day. I'm thankful for my work.

Ross wants me to share one last thing, for him, and it's important.

The other day I looked at the tiny glass insert in our front door, which is green and from the seventies.

I thought to replace it.

I felt that funny 'connection' of intention and emotion.

Then I let it go.

While I was getting ready to go on Saturday, Anthony was playing his little basketball hoop over the front door. He dunked and there was the sound of breaking glass. This sound terrifies me. I'm not sure why. I ran downstairs, he was okay, and the door was ruined. He cleaned up the glass, I told my friends we would be late, and I called to make an appointment with the glass company.

This is going to cost us four hundred dollars.

I started to cry.

I cried no tover the money, but over the memory of the kitchen door in my house I lived in during the seventies, in our bonfire orange painted kitchen. The window was green glass in circles like coke bottle bottoms. With the glass breaking, I felt all of my security of mom and dad shatter, as if they died. Mom and dad had spent a lot of time in this house, helping me with Anthony.

Initially I was angry with Anthony, but even more so, I was angry with myself for manifesting it, this breakage, to make way for the new glass. We sent pictures to our friend. We patched it up with a cookie sheet. And I forgave him. He wisely said that before we had a choice to replace it, and now there's no choice or option except to move on.

He later said the main difference between his father and me is that I forgive.

He said his father gets just as upset, but he doesn't soften his heart and forgive, and Anthony has to 'say words' to his father so he doesn't get stuck in his room all day as more punishment.

In the big picture, what's important is that nobody was hurt by the glass. As my mom said, 'Boys DO things, Carla, this is normal to have something break around the house.'

She is right.

A final note about my sister who is getting married, having the wedding she wants, with little concern for the feelings of others.

I saw her handwriting in a card to my son. It's changed so much since she was little. She has changed. In an instant I understood everything, and let's just say she...has her mind show up in her handwriting.

Life hasn't been kind to her. I understood. I forgave.

But I also hurt.

My other sister, I took the time to thank her for asking me to be in her wedding so long ago, that it means to much, especially now. And we are thankful we both get to sit together and get through the awkwardness.

My mother even tried to patch things up. She said my other sister was 'confused' and 'mom told her not to have us in it' but what mom had said, and she had forgotten, was, 'these are modern times and she can do what she wants'...She said Anthony and his cousins can get a tuxedo or be in the wedding. (Fact of the matter is Anthony doesn't want to be in it  at all, he doesn't want a tuxedo, and he frankly doesn't see any reason for either of us to go. He is like, 'why did they even invite us mom?')

My mom is very 'stretchy' when it comes to the truth. My sister, who is getting married, gave me the best gift of all to let me know where I stand. It's like my freedom ticket to move anywhere I want to go, and to live my life anyway I want to live it, with no obligation to her.

Do I want her happiness? Yes of course.

Do I like her groom? Yes.

Will I be friendly and polite in all future interactions?

Yes, absolutely.

Will I make plans for us to be close? To raise our families together? To grow old together, to grow old here, with her as my closest kin?

Probably not.

And I accept it, that's okay.

I have so many more Star Family who ARE truly close, and there's new horizons for us all!

In summary, Renewal is a time spent doing things you enjoy, with plenty of chance to catch up on your rest, and reconnecting with relationships who are important to you.

It also means taking stock of your talents and gifts (mine is bracelets, healing, photography, writing, gardening, pets, and anesthesia)...and looking toward the future where you would like to go.

It means working in partnership with Spirit, and knowing everything works out for the best.

I've asked Ross time and again for the pepper tree's safety, as well as for guidance on where to go and what to do next. How to get near the water, how to get near where the energy is good for both Anthony and me, and how to afford it.

He asked me last night, what would you do with (a large amount) of dollars?

I didn't know. I didn't know what to do. There's the stupid property taxes and cost of living. I don't have a clue how to make the best of it.   He asked me if I could go anywhere where would I go?
I didn't know.  My heart is torn four ways, here, France, Hawaii, Vancouver Island. I know in New Hampshire they don't have state income tax. I just don't know. I really don't want to get another state medical license. And in Hawaii our turtle and snake would not be welcome.

That's why daily meditation is the best. You feel warm and loved and nurtured and safe.  I did that before I started writing. Sometimes you don't get the best answers you want. But you feel it's okay, and things will work out, one way or another. Like I said to my teams, 'you got me HERE, didn't you?'

And they did.


https://gaiaportal.wordpress.com/2017/03/06/external-evidences-are-no-longer-necessary-for-those-who-question/




Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple

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