The Universe heard one of my 'Calls for Help' I sent out about two months ago, and answered it right now. I am explaining it, briefly, and giving Thanks!
I have been the 'Beard' of two men in my life, both of them my ex-husbands. I felt devastated in the divorces to learn the truth.
I have harbored that bewilderment and resentment and anger for decades.
I met someone who left a wife for 'liking boys' and went to that person directly seeking explanation, understanding, compassion, and healing with my 'Truth' and my pain. This person rejected me, outright, adding to my confusion, hurt and pain. In Hawaii last week, I accepted this rejection (He lives on Big Island), and yesterday I realized while not letting my son get a toy after having a shot at the doctor (huge context, huge back story, but bottom line is that sometimes it takes a greater love and more strength to say 'no') that maybe the Universe had 'said no' for my Highest Good with this individual I had sought for help with my 'situation'.
This sets up the 'openness' required for Deep Soul Work.
This morning (I am staying home and taking care of a sick child), my boy wanted 'to keep the T.V. on for the elections), as I went into the kitchen moments ago, I saw this on Jerry Springer: 'meet my gay boyfriend'.
There it was--a gyrating male stripper, african american, in hot pants pole dancing, glitter on his arm and weird eye make-up, sliding down a telephone pole to the stage, walking up to the guy in front of his live-in girlfriend and mother of his son, and embracing him in a passionate kiss.
She walked off the stage.
Her 'man' asked her to come back and wanted to explain. He didn't know who he was. He was trying to make 'everyone else happy'. He did not know 'what made him happy'. And she confronted him. You mean those nights where you were 'working late and didn't come home until five in the morning' you were with a MAN and came home to ME?! How come you didn't tell me sooner? Do you know how much you mean to me and to our son?
And I understood. At last. And Jerry said it with the woman: it is not a great thing to find out, but it is better to know than to continue on in ignorance of the situation.
As a physician, I picked up: STD risk! Watch out!
As a Reiki Master, I picked up the energies of the man, the boyfriend, and the 'jilted woman'. I saw it from the big picture, and it 'resonated' as a 'truth'.
I also saw as a viewer, that in this situation, Jerry Springer sincerely wanted for this woman to heal.
And in the face of the 'man' at the center of this controversy, and the smile on his face at the end, I saw on a Soul Level exactly what was going on with this man's Free Will, his Soul Choices, and the Big Picture in a way that made total sense.
I am so thankful my son asked me to go get him a coke when he did! I feel better already! St. Michael, help me cut those ties to my past! And St. Germain, help me invoke the Violet Flame for deep cleansing of all the negativity that past experience may have left behind in my Soul. Now it is time to go make some spaghetti!