The Illusion is starting to make itself apparent.
It is going to kick and buck, just like a horse being broken by a cowboy.
You are that cowboy. And the Illusion is the life that we live, that we Manifest together as a group. It is trying to change, the bronco of Illusion. And we will ride it till it breaks, and we ride all the way together safely home.
Today I awoke, did my chores, got us breakfast. It was an eight o'clock start, and we were on time.
Illusion #1: the woman at work who calls to see if you are late, called. But I wasn't late. My case was scheduled for eight, not seven-thirty. She apologized. I never got flustered. (I once less than three weeks ago made a scene at the front desk because of these calls) I actually checked in on time, and called when I hit the parking lot.
Illusion #2: the 'flawless case': nice patient, on time, everything running smoothly. NOT! Once the surgeon got in the room--an all-new team, wrong equipment, confusion and delay, and speaking to the charge nurse. Everything went fine on my end. But like a small earthquake, the business-as-usual was shaking around a bit.
Illusion #3: everyone loves flowers. This is not true. I brought in a boquet of sweet peas for the desk patients roll by and we all walk past in recovery room. Some DID. But not everyone. And very few actually stopped to smell them. I had to share and ask people to take a whiff. When they did, they loved it. But not everyone knows what to do around a beautiful boquet. Not at work.
Illusion #4: Spine surgery. Sounds easier than it is, anesthesia-wise. Add somatosensory evoked potentials and motor evoked potentials, and there is not much anesthesia that you can actually give without screwing up the readings on the monitors. (Anesthesia = asleep neurons, neuromonitoring = awake neurons, yes?). However, the anesthesia is enough to drop blood pressure. (Anesthesia = hypotension, spinal cord perfusion = hypertension). So a lot of fake blood pressure meds were needed (we call them 'pressors').
In a patient of large size, on the total i.v. anesthetics, you are refilling the propofol pump frequently. There was so much beeping, raising the table, lowering the table, making sure the foley did not get caught on the c-arm for lateral, that I almost got irritated. But then, I looked at the Illusion straight in the face; You are trying to Get Me, aren't you? This is a test, isn't it? I want to pass this test! And so I chilled. And learned some big lessons today.
Illusion #5: Sexual harassment. How does it feel when all the men in the room start talking about titty bars and strip clubs in front of you? (everyone except the neuro monitoring tech). Bad, at first. But then, I lifted the curtain and saw--Illusion! On closer inspection, these overworked, overcommitted males were enjoying the freedom of being together...and happy for once. Who cares if it was icky--everyone was laughing and being real. I laughed when I thought how opposites attract, like beauty and the geek, literally! Illusion tried to get the best of me. But I stepped aside.
Illusion #6: Time for family. My neighbor in the room next door yelled at the relief person for not relieving her. The patient was too unstable, and it was not in their interest to have their name on the record. Yes, we handoff cases. Up to a point. She missed her kids. I missed mine, too. But I knew he was safe, and my patient was not the most stable. So I stayed. The 'I miss my kids' Illusion used to get the better of me. At three o'clock every day I would long to go home, and every minute seemed like and hour beyond it. Today I thought like a man. What progress that there is for me.
Illusion #7: The Low Fat Diet: Diet recommendations are given by the Heart Doctors. Obesity is an Endocrine Problem. The Low Fat Diet we are supposed to follow, is not recommended by the Endocrine specialists. It makes you hungry and you eat too much. Otherwise there would be MORE fat in the diet. Similarly, Hyptertension is a Renal problem. But the Heart Speicialists have taken over that condiition as well. And lastly, Stroke is a Neurological condition, but the American Heart Association is behind the Stroke Association that has made all of the recomnendations, not the Neurologists. (overheard from surgeon to surgeon conversation in the O.R.)
In each of these seven examples, I pushed past the obvious to see the lesson inside the situation. My reaction was measured, chosen. And each situation taught me a little bit more about who I am, really, deep inside, and what resources I have in my heart, body, mind, soul and Spirit.
Things are going to be like this for a bit, I imagine. When my snake goes to shed his skin, he looks awful for a few days. The eyes get all cloudy. And the skin pale. Then he works and works to get that old skin off. Sometimes I have to soak him in water to help make the process easier. But when he is done, the skin is more glowing and bright than ever before. (he is a ball python, a little over one year old).
Our Universe is going through some changes, starting here with Planet Earth. Try to remember the healthy new look Gaia is going to have. Assist her with your thoughts and hearts like I soak my snake to help shedding pass easier. She is going to appreciate it. And it will be good for you.
Have patientce when the fabric of Life As You Know It stretches and breaks. Something will reform that is vaster and more expansive, more wonderful than you could imagine!
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
P.S. Human disc from the spine looks like annular and breaks into small shreds just like tsurimi, the fake crab they put into California Roll.
