Benjamin and Eden

This is a story of very deep healing, for me. And also observation in general...because I always am seeking to learn and to grow.

Dealing With Irrational Fear:

Are you cold? Can I get you a blanket? I asked gently, as the patient was shaking like a leaf. We both knew why she was trembling. And we both knew I was making a gesture of comfort.

She said, I am just really nervous...

So was the spine. Very tight. Very closed. I prayed. I tried everything. But in situations like this, it takes my combination of experience AND patience to get the block in.

As I was 'trying everything', I felt a Presence in the room. I looked up and I saw Ross standing across the room, feet three feet off the ground, not saying anything. (Lately he likes to watch me work.)

The delivery in the O.R. was uneventful. The patient relaxed after the birth. But as the baby was being born, I felt a very strong need to give Reiki and the Transition Symbol. I focused. And as it was being born, I saw Ross holding the spirit of the child in his arms, playing with it, and loving it tenderly. The child was absolutely delighted to be with him! And Ross wanted to get my attention. He has never done anything like that! But I have been calling him in and asking for his blessing on the newborn every now and then...

It wasn't until the end of the case when the nurse asked the parents what the name is of the baby that I understood...Benjamin! That was the name of our son! The one we had had together and lost at an early age. It had terribly scarred me, the loss of my boy...my soul never healed from that loss.


Dealing With Light:

This was the patient who all caregivers wish to clone:

• beautiful and calm, and very mellow
• baked about eight loaves of cinnamon coffee cake for her team
• visible spinous processes on the back
• pleasant, kind, and full of love for all

That patient had a daughter.

And her name is Eden.

Lightbox For Two

I want to speak with you in the call room. Get the book. Write what I say.  Ross mentioned this after the last case.

I wasn't sure what to expect. He hasn't done this before.

Here is a transcript of my notes:

Earlier I couldn't believe it--on pandora radio during the case, the song by Lady Antebellum, 'I need you now' came on--it's not just for everyone else except me any more! Now I have Ross...

Ross: I'm sorry.

C: (I start crying. Tears flow in torrents. He holds me. Gently.) It wasn't your fault. It was the amnesia.

He gives me a single pink rose in bloom.

Ross: Smell it.

C:  (I do and I hear tinkling bells that are not of this world). Is it going to drug me?

Ross: (smiles and laughs) No! But the one who should be asking is me when I get something from you! (this is his joke at my being an anesthesiologist)

C:  I like you. I like having you.

Ross: I will stay.

C: It hurts, baby. It hurts. I know what you said about the Ocean and to move on...but I don't know how to do it without the pain... I feel like it's my fault I feel pain...like if I meditated enough I wouldn't feel it any more. But all the heartaches, Ross! Not just you...I tell myself it's nice I loved...But the rejection! It hurts. Your rejection was worse than mine, all those people making you die...

Ross: (waves his hand). That was my way...I am here for you.

C: My suffering was nothing compared to you!

Ross:  I love you.

C:  Oh my God I need you so much! (I sob) I realize it's like childbirth--I have to get all these buried feelings OUT. I accept. And all of a sudden I feel better!

Ross: (I see Ross holding up a baby with a green plastic suction cup--the Kiwi--stuck to it's head.)

Vacuum extraction!

C: I LAUGH! (in childbirth when there is a dystocia, the obstetrician uses these suction devices to pull the kid out. Forceps are no longer used any more.)

Ross: (Kneels) I am always here for you. ALWAYS! ALWAYS!

C: Why are so many people not? It is so not of Heaven! I want to heal. All of a sudden I see a view from the ocean facing balcony of my room at Ko Olina--for some reason I suddenly miss Hawaii very much.

Ross: Open your heart.

C:  I understand I am the ocean with the palm tree being him, together we make paradise.

Ross: (softly) We just got some garbage out, huh? (as in litter being cleaned up out of the ocean)

C: I feel glowy and Light. In my heart center. Yes. Thank you.

Ross: I do good work. He shows an image of himself waving an epidural needle in his right hand. Just like you.

C: I realize I make a lot of people happy with my anesthesia skills and never give it a second thought.

Ross: Carla? That's what I'm going to call you. Not Amee (my old name when I was his wife) for a little while. Carla? I want you to know with my soul that I will be there for you. It is because you care about me (touches his heart) and my well-being so much that your sadness overwhelmed you with my loss, not once but two TIMES as Gamaliel and as Rosso. That was a lot to ask of you as a spiritual mate. It wasn't fair to have them back to back. Everyone has their loss and to each it seems incredible, life-shattering to say goodbye, but it isn't. Sometimes it leads them to something better, when they look back on the experience..

Yours was not good.

It was shattering, in fact.

Only the bravest of the brave could have withstood it.

(touches his chest) I couldn't.

You held your vibration and Light and then without warning or ability to change the way that I was heading--both times--I lost my life to violence.

I gave my life for you, but for all women and men and children. You knew this at the start but I didn't explain how hurt you would feel for you to sign because I didn't know. (he is referring to the Life Contract that we signed pre-birth for all of our assignments and incarnations as Illuminated Twin Flame souls). Nobody knew that suffering of the soul in Spirit is a side effect from being 'hidden' from God.

The mate serves as a substitute for Source to one another. And you had both your 'hearts' ripped out and torn to shreds and never recovered.

You lost your LIGHT in a giant aura leak--not only because of me but Benjamin, too, our son.

C: I didn't know what to say.

Ross: I love you. I am proud of you. I will honor your development of us.

C:  Baby? I don't UNDERSTAND! I am here in scrubs and a long scrub jacket in a call room a million miles away. All of a sudden I had an insight. Are you making peace between us?

Ross: Nods emphatically yes. Touches his chest. In my heart. (I realize he needs to heal too.)

C: But I never blamed you. I always forgave you.

Ross: I have to forgive myself. He looks down.

C: I draw the Divine Peace Healing symbol for Forgiveness.

Ross: annoyed It's not that easy.

C: I stretch out my arms for him. He comes. He sobs.

Ross: I hurt the woman I love! I HURT MYSELF!!!

C: I don't know how to fix it but I still love you.

Ross: Let's go in the Light Box together?

C: Okay. The angels have a double one. We hop in.

Ross: I want to say I am sorry to you for all the times I hurt you with my ministry and left you alone with all your suffering and no where to turn and no one to comfort you. You are a friend I adore. Remember when we were friends when we were kids? both times, not once.

C: yes.

Ross: Let's lie down first, then you can go eat. I will go away after. I won't say goodbye. I have to go.

C: This isn't a trick to get me in?

Ross: presses my arm I wouldn't do that. I need to heal on my own. Will you assist me in the process.

C: I will.

Ross: smiles I want Peace.

Then I felt the usual pulses and energy waves of the Light box. This time is the first I was aware of the presence of the healing team. I asked them, how do you make this go? Is there a plug? (there are no plugs--no cords!).I recalled I never felt like this as a kid, but the past two years this time of tingling and buzzing and floaty sensations are normal. I asked how it works, and why I am in? (there is a damage to the DNA of my soul, and it just has to be repaired). I said, cool, thank you! (and there was a cheer. There were many, up and to the right, in a little window, pumping their fists. They were saying, 'she is the first one who asked! she is the first one who asked!' and they were very glad I appreciated their efforts. 

As a test, they played 'I Need You Now' by Lady Antebellum. All I felt was love and gratitude for Ross, who first came to mind. The pain, the emotional suffering I had experienced earlier whenever I heard this song was released!

In summary--Patient One represents Duality, or the Illusion of the Third Dimension.

Patient Two represents The New Golden Age, with abundance, love, and prosperity for all.

And the dialogue between Ross and myself is what Twin Souls and Twin Flames do, besides enjoy each other tremendously--they heal each other to their very core as issues arise. 

Have hope and know the energies are raising up to where all souls who are Ohana will meet, Soul Mates and Twin Souls included. 

That applies to YOU.

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

P.S.  Lady Antebellum, Need You Now.http://youtu.be/cw0tCdRLy0w

Unlimited Joy!--Emergence From An Anesthetic

People are starting to wake up from the hypnotic actions of the Mithraic, ever-controlling Cabal and Illuminati! I saw it in my dream last night.

The 'higher sense' of people, no matter how deeply asleep they are, is starting to 'move'.

I saw it, in the most ridiculous way possible (I'm sorry): it was like 'the wave' where people stand up and yell and wave their arms that passes through the crowd at a football game in a stadium.

People had the 'sense' to 'figure out' what was happening and got the sudden desire to 'be a part of the event' as 'the wave' passed over them. It was their good-nature, their wanting to 'be a part', that got them to participate and make it great!

This has never happened before in all of the Universe--a planet where people inhabiting it were 'asleep' and later 'woke up'.

The rooster sings his song. The little one taps your arm and says, 'Mom!' You hear it at once. Whether you are in a deep sleep or not, you hear it and you know you're not going to easily roll over and go back to sleep again. This is 'emergence' from Natural Sleep.

I am an expert in Unnatural Sleep--although sleep with anesthesia is 'no different' by EEG brain waveforms from Natural Sleep, the way one 'gets there' definitely IS Unnatural. 

The Illuminati can only hold the anesthesia in the news media and entertainment and political systems for 'so long'. Already now, the number of countries that are NOT Illuminati-controlled outnumber the ones that are by a number in the hundreds of 'free' to seven that are controlled. The seven are BIG countries for sure, but as the etheric and astral planes lose their 'non-physical negative entity Leaders' by the hundreds of thousands each day, the rest of the organization on the ground is losing the 'brains' of the operation. Most of the 'structure' is disintegrating on its own right this minute! (Just like in the car when it sputters and lurches as it runs out of gasoline, you can expect the Illuminati 'organization' to do some pretty desperate 'stuff' before it stops completely.)

Then as the 'anesthesia' for the masses starts to be 'taken away' or 'not given', the people are going to 'come back to their senses' just like in the O.R.!

Here is a timeframe of what I look for before I can take someone to the recovery room:

• The surgery is coming to an end. I start easing off on the anesthesia gases. I turn down the dial.
• I also start easing on the mechanical ventilation, if I have been using it. This gets the patient to start breathing on their own.
• The slower ventilation rate allows for the carbon dioxide in the blood to rise. This triggers the respiratory drive and desire to breathe independently.
• I reverse all muscle relaxants with drugs that accomplish this.
• The BIS monitor I use 'reads' the brain waves and gives me a 'number'. Forty to sixty is 'deep enough' for surgery. I allow it to rise near seventy, which is 'groggy but awake'. I time it so that by the time the last dressing goes on the patient 'wakes up'.
• As the brain comes 'online' I start looking for certain movements of the face. People swallow. They grimace. They suck. (these are all 'primitive reflexes' of the brain that are associated with suckling a breast as an infant.)
• I watch the eyes. I actually open the lids and look for the alignment of the pupils. At 'stage two' the excitatory brain is awake but the inhibitory brain is still 'under anesthesia'. The eyes have divergent gaze, or 'lizard eyes'. This time is dangerous to pull the breathing tube; laryngospasm or 'slamming shut of the vocal cords' is highly possible.
• Once the eyes have parallel gaze, stage two is ended. I now can interact with the patient again. I suction out with a yankaur the spit in the mouth, and look for a frown. I bend down and speak kindly in the ear, calling the patient by name and say the surgery is finished, it's time to wake up!
• I am watching closely for signs of muscle strength, excellent  respiratory function, and ability to cough and protect the airway from the patient's own spit.
• At the point the patient is asked to follow commands--open your eyes! Squeeze my finger!
• Then I pull the tube. I watch the breathing carefully from that moment on all the way to the recovery room. This is where they are permitted to 'sleep it all off' and become even more awake before being sent home or to their hospital room.

The anesthesia can't be given to the people forever--not in the O.R., and not in Spiritual Anesthesia like the Illuminati are doing either. The time is coming for people to 'awaken' and discover they are able to do all of the five 'clairs'--clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, claircognizance, and clair (smell something).  This is normal for all beings who are alive in the Universe! It is part of being alive if you have an aura, and EVERYTHING has an aura! The only thing is that with education, and society, and limited technology that has been permitted us, we not only put that 'spiritual ability' of ours to sleep, we made sure that each other kept it 'asleep' too by making fun of everyone who was 'different'. The media ridiculed them. Mocked them. And made everybody who has ever had a 'message' in some way from a loved one who has passed keep quiet about it and keep it to themselves. This made for anybody who has ever seen or felt or experienced the presence of an angel to stay mum about it and never tell a soul. And this is why anyone who has ever experienced anything 'extraterrestrial' to either look like a freakazoid in society for talking about their experience, or suffer in silence that it wasn't like the movies at all--the visitors were just like everybody else....

Now you know what to look for as the public starts to 'wake up'. There is a lot of 'movement' for about ten minutes before the patient opens their eyes and can go to the recovery room.

We are in that period now, metaphysically.

It is exciting.

The whole Universe is watching us right now. 

It is a first time, ever, anywhere, that anything like this has been allowed to happen.

In the meantime, help Gaia as much as you possibly can. The more we help her, the more she can 'shake off the bad guys, the fleas and the ticks of negative entities'.

Be a good example for those who are asleep. But allow them to 'wake up on their own'. Don't rush them.

Aloha and Mahalo,

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

Enjoy the rest of your September! 

Open Here

The Illusion is starting to make itself apparent.

It is going to kick and buck, just like a horse being broken by a cowboy.

You are that cowboy. And the Illusion is the life that we live, that we Manifest together as a group. It is trying to change, the bronco of Illusion. And we will ride it till it breaks, and we ride all the way together safely home.

Today I awoke, did my chores, got us breakfast. It was an eight o'clock start, and we were on time.

Illusion #1: the woman at work who calls to see if you are late, called. But I wasn't late. My case was scheduled for eight, not seven-thirty. She apologized. I never got flustered. (I once less than three weeks ago made a scene at the front desk because of these calls) I actually checked in on time, and called when I hit the parking lot.

Illusion #2: the 'flawless case': nice patient, on time, everything running smoothly. NOT! Once the surgeon got in the room--an all-new team, wrong equipment, confusion and delay, and speaking to the charge nurse. Everything went fine on my end. But like a small earthquake, the business-as-usual was shaking around a bit.

Illusion #3: everyone loves flowers. This is not true. I brought in a boquet of sweet peas for the desk patients roll by and we all walk past in recovery room. Some DID. But not everyone. And very few actually stopped to smell them. I had to share and ask people to take a whiff. When they did, they loved it. But not everyone knows what to do around a beautiful boquet. Not at work.

Illusion #4: Spine surgery. Sounds easier than it is, anesthesia-wise. Add somatosensory evoked potentials and motor evoked potentials, and there is not much anesthesia that you can actually give without screwing up the readings on the monitors. (Anesthesia = asleep neurons, neuromonitoring = awake neurons, yes?). However, the anesthesia is enough to drop blood pressure. (Anesthesia = hypotension, spinal cord perfusion = hypertension). So a lot of fake blood pressure meds were needed (we call them 'pressors').

In a patient of large size, on the total i.v. anesthetics, you are refilling the propofol pump frequently. There was so much beeping, raising the table, lowering the table, making sure the foley did not get caught on the c-arm for lateral, that I almost got irritated. But then, I looked at the Illusion straight in the face; You are trying to Get Me, aren't you? This is a test, isn't it? I want to pass this test! And so I chilled. And learned some big lessons today.

Illusion #5: Sexual harassment. How does it feel when all the men in the room start talking about titty bars and strip clubs in front of you? (everyone except the neuro monitoring tech). Bad, at first. But then, I lifted the curtain and saw--Illusion! On closer inspection, these overworked, overcommitted males were enjoying the freedom of being together...and happy for once. Who cares if it was icky--everyone was laughing and being real. I laughed when I thought how opposites attract, like beauty and the geek, literally! Illusion tried to get the best of me. But I stepped aside.

Illusion #6: Time for family. My neighbor in the room next door yelled at the relief person for not relieving her. The patient was too unstable, and it was not in their interest to have their name on the record. Yes, we handoff cases. Up to a point. She missed her kids. I missed mine, too. But I knew he was safe, and my patient was not the most stable. So I stayed. The 'I miss my kids' Illusion used to get the better of me. At three o'clock every day I would long to go home, and every minute seemed like and hour beyond it. Today I thought like a man. What progress that there is for me.

Illusion #7: The Low Fat Diet: Diet recommendations are given by the Heart Doctors. Obesity is an Endocrine Problem. The Low Fat Diet we are supposed to follow, is not recommended by the Endocrine specialists. It makes you hungry and you eat too much. Otherwise there would be MORE fat in the diet. Similarly, Hyptertension is a Renal problem. But the Heart Speicialists have taken over that condiition as well. And lastly, Stroke is a Neurological condition, but the American Heart Association is behind the Stroke Association that has made all of the recomnendations, not the Neurologists. (overheard from surgeon to surgeon conversation in the O.R.)

In each of these seven examples, I pushed past the obvious to see the lesson inside the situation. My reaction was measured, chosen. And each situation taught me a little bit more about who I am, really, deep inside, and what resources I have in my heart, body, mind, soul and Spirit.

Things are going to be like this for a bit, I imagine. When my snake goes to shed his skin, he looks awful for a few days. The eyes get all cloudy. And the skin pale. Then he works and works to get that old skin off. Sometimes I have to soak him in water to help make the process easier. But when he is done, the skin is more glowing and bright than ever before. (he is a ball python, a little over one year old).

Our Universe is going through some changes, starting here with Planet Earth. Try to remember the healthy new look Gaia is going to have. Assist her with your thoughts and hearts like I soak my snake to help shedding pass easier. She is going to appreciate it. And it will be good for you.

Have patientce when the fabric of Life As You Know It stretches and breaks. Something will reform that is vaster and more expansive, more wonderful than you could imagine!

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

P.S. Human disc from the spine looks like annular and breaks into small shreds just like tsurimi, the fake crab they put into California Roll.

Reiki and The Importance of Sleep

This is Lizard. In Native American Lore, Lizard spends much of his time in sleep. Why? He is dreaming.  He dreams of the future before it arrives. He dreams me, you, everything. Most of his time is spent in DreamTime, not here in the Illusion. Lizard. When lizard shows up into your world, the symbol means 'pay attention to dreams and give yourself time to dream them.'

My mother is from Italy. She doesn't 'get' American culture when it comes to sleep. In Europe it is something to be enjoyed. It is good for you. It is healing. Rejuvenating. Important. None of this 'five hour energy' drink so you can make the need for sleep go away. Mom IS a night owl. She stayed up most of our childhood. She liked the quiet when the rest of the house was asleep. Even as a kid, she stayed up late with a flashlight and a book reading under the covers. Although her need for sleep was LESS, she respected the need for it.

My son takes after my Mom and his father, someone who has to resort to taking chemicals to induce sleep. He fought it. Ever since he was little. He did not like to cozy up and rest.

Intuitively, I wonder if he must have died in his sleep in a past life? It makes sense, doesn't it, for one to be averse to sleep in this life if they did.

That is where the Reiki part came in.  I practice at night on my son. He calls is Energy Massage. Guess what? Once I got to Reiki Three Level, boom! He would be off to sleep, a contented one, before I finished the Reiki Treatment.

One of the things about Reiki Sleep is it is Restful. My patients often wake up saying, 'I feel so refreshed!'. Of course! I untangled the knots in your energetic system while you were asleep!

What is Sleep? 

I am going to go out on  a Limb here. The Toltecs (Don Miguel Ruiz books. I love him!) call this Life, The Illusion. It is a type of Dream State. I think perhaps our DreamTime is when we Go Back Home. This is when you have the vivid dreams of your Loved One who has Passed. This is when you get ideas (I used to solve geometry problems in my sleep). This is when you tweak your game for the next day, if you ask me.

Ask Lizard. In many ways we are like Him.

I have been fighting a cold. Or allergy. Not sure what, exactly. All I want is sleep. I got one hour after work yesterday. And eight hours last night. I feel much better. I could use a day of rest. But with only two cases in the OR, each taking about four hours, I am not going to exert myself. I hope I can get some rest again tonight. I look forward to it. And yes, I go to sleep giving Reiki to myself, too.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc