I had a new experience in the awakening process which I believe is important to share. I have read every link through Cobra's Red Pill blogpost in July of 2012. I thought that by plugging into that and reading everything I could about TWDNHOBIAH I could help increase awareness.
I'll tell you that knowledge contained in the Red Pill hit me like a ton of bricks. It was really hard to grasp how everything, the symbolism, the deception, could be hidden in plain sight. Once I gathered my composure, I chose to fight. And fight I did for many years, blogging and doing online activities to help make a trail for others to follow.
Thankfully a blessing from the whole thing were the people who gravitated together for this cause, real people online who formed our community Doctors with Reiki.
I went quiet for a while, it started almost funny because for the daily Reiki healings I would post, I ran out of cool pictures to post with them. There used to be pages I would follow where I would screenshot their images. I used travel photos like the one above that I took. I had already made it (programmed Reiki) so the healings would be sent at the same time, every day, to those who were followers who accepted it. But it was a nice thing to do and didn't take much time.
After that I started getting into some deep healing, personal healing, by going through my life experiences at the time. I had to be adrift for a while in order to find my way. Before I was going on a lot of spiritual guidance from Ross and my teams. There was an urgency to it. The urgency disappeared.
I also had to transition to an empty nest. That part is not easy when you have been so invested in motherhood.
As I found my way, I was delighted to find an actual--several really--survivor of the abuse of TWDNHOBIAH who posted frequently online. This was someone who was born into it. I notice now there is a 'look' and I can recognize the similarities between others who are 'bloodline' and 'born into the system'. I responded with caring, support, and many messages of 'I believe you'.
Here is the point: up until one post, it was always 'me' and 'them'--you know, the victims.
My whole foundation, my grounding, my connection to my stability emotionally in this very messed up world that we live in, took a hit.
Both the victim/survivor and I had experienced sexual assault. Theirs was way worse than mine but mine had been bad enough to ruin my life when it comes to trusting people and bonding with a partner. Even with my Spiritual ones on the other side. I was okay with that part because I had been through years of counseling and done lots of work to heal it. I could tolerate the infrequent intrusive flashbacks of recall that were horrifying and upsetting.
It was the other thing that 'they' had suffered--that I had too--terrible neglect in the pre-verbal years, being left in a crib for hours without food, water, or being changed. For them, it was the cult they were born into. For me, it was a babysitter who was drunk out of their minds for most of the day. A Hungarian woman named Carrie, who mom and dad paid extra for me to have good fresh milk from the dairy. Carrie had five kids--a lot of them--and was considered an experienced and 'good' mother. I was so desperate that the only thing that I found worked with that babysitter was learning Hungarian and speaking to her in her native language to get my needs met. And even then, it was not every time. My parents figured out the situation in time, and I was returned to the care of my own grandmother. No healing had taken place.
It was undeniable.
Evil had touched me, personally, at an early age when I was completely defenseless.
It was bad.
What happened to me was bad enough that it was the same as what happened to the survivor, and if we lived in a just and proper society the authorities would have intervened on each of our abuses and taken steps that it would never happen again to anyone else!
That threw me.
Life was no longer 'me' and 'them'.
Evil affects us all.
We try to brush it aside, and say 'that's life'! Or when people do evil selfish things that we are aware of the evil ones gaslight us and say things like 'that's just business!'.
You may think you are 'awake' like I thought I was. You may have your battle scars from life--most spiritually blessed people do have their share of surviving horrors. You may get by, and focus on the good. On things like love, and gratitude. You get times where everything is such a miracle of generosity from Creator and you can see it with your own eyes the gifts...
Since Evil is as pervasive as it is, as Lightworkers committed to the cause of our Team, be prepared and understand it is NORMAL to have an experience where you fully realize the impact interacting with evil has shaped your own life perception.
Furthermore, in our existence, everyone pretty much is a victim and a survivor.
This is where I see the biggest hurdle of Ascension and Awakening truly is: when our eyes and our hearts open enough to realize that 'us' and 'them' no longer exists. We are all so incredibly vulnerable and innocent, and the evil we have been exposed to in life has hurt us so much that to survive we act with bravado and courage. But the pain is real. The sadness is heavy. And it takes time to assimilate our life lessons and accept that it could happen to anyone. And it already happened to most of us. There is no more comfort to be had from our mental bubble we once had surrounding us.
Then and only then can we know all of us are in this together, all of us are making progress forward for the cause, and when a particular 'wave' of awakening 'hits' the healthiest thing to do is to step back, to let it absorb...new strength will follow. Spiritual strength.
Ascension is not linear. It comes in waves like at the beach. Sometimes it requires us to 'revisit' things, to 'circle' around another time through old experiences with newer, higher, awareness and square off with its healing on another level. We might even get knocked over onto our butt by the new awareness! That is totally expected and understood to be a part of the process.
Forgive yourself for being human.
You don't have to solve everything in one day.
You don't even have to understand why it is happening or the way it came up at the time.
Accept it. Believe in yourself. It really happened. It really was that traumatic. You are still here. There is a good reason for everything. And it is going to be okay. Give yourself the time you need. And graciously accept that some time when you least expect it, something else may come up and raise your awareness again.
Ross
Carla is delivering a Master Class on the Ascension Process. (he gives an image of a person being drawn up to Heaven). It isn't always 'quick' like that tractor beam pulling you up to the sky. It isn't like a huge 'flash' with a light bulb over your head. And it isn't like another magic spell going 'poof' and everything is reset back to a Heavenly Standard of society at the snap of a finger.
It is BETTER.
It is 'home grown'. It is 'organic' (speaking metaphysically). It is uniquely your own!
And I guarantee you, in no uncertain terms, it is WORTH IT!
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
the couple
