When I was an intern, one of my classmates from high school who was a year ahead of me, worked at the VA as a case manager and was on my ward. It was delightful to reconnect with Collette, to talk about her sons, Austin and Adam, and to share with her life on rounds and on the wards.
She learned about my divorce, and was concerned I wasn't dating. I actually had dated a little off and on, but not to anyone who was a good fit.
It turned out she had a friend, a close friend, and she wanted to set us up on a date. She wanted him to take me out.
When I realized he was the son of a former colleague back at Clorox, I was thrilled! I was absolutely delighted, and looked forward to making a potential connection with his heart.
David Coburn, was a packaging engineer who lived in Pleasanton, California. He adored his family. I saw the photos of his kids on his desk. He enjoyed taking cello lessons, and I think he also performed in either acting or some other performing art in his spare time. He was a good guy--not super fancy --but SOLID as it gets, kind, good-hearted, and always willing to help or lend an ear.
I didn't know what to do on a set-up date.
His son called, and he didn't know Costa Mesa, where I was living. How was I supposed to know the area? I was an intern, right? I was always working!
I didn't want to spend lots of his money. I never felt entitled. So I suggested dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory, followed by a discount movie showing of The Nutty Professor. I even offered to go Dutch Treat.
Let me tell you, David's son--I can't even remember his name to be honest--was not David.
He had airs.
He was as worldly as it gets, and I had never met anyone before like it, so I didn't recognize it when I met it head on, face to face.
He was quiet, he was uncomfortable, and we couldn't hit it off.
Here he was, owning a company that made batteries for electric cars, a brilliant engineer and businessman (for all I know maybe he started Tesla--this was like, 1996)...and I understood the science behind it which was fascinating!
All I know is at the end of the night, I felt like he wanted sex, and I couldn't figure out why he was acting that way over a first date and a cheap dinner and movie and I hardly even knew him.
I knew he could never win my heart. But I wanted to keep respect for him, for his father's sake, and as my mother says, 'a girl can never have too many successful male friends'...She was big on platonic friendships with high-powered engineers at her work.
Part of me was puzzled by his behavior. Why didn't he like his father? Why didn't he want to talk about him? Why was he acting so selfish when his father always treated him with kindness and love and worked so very hard to provide for him? (David Coburn was old enough to be MY father too LOL).
Well, I got invited to a Luau party at his (Owner of car batteries factory guy who is friends with Collette) house in Solana Beach. It's a long drive away for me. But I went, again, to honor his father.
That's where I saw the girl.
She was living with him! She acted like she owned the place. She was Asian, probably Vietnamese but back then I couldn't figure things like that out. And she was OLD--way older than us--in her forties. She was showing off her cleavage, had on a ton of eye makeup, and he was totally smitten by her...worldliness...
I laughed it off.
To this day I still wonder why he ever dated me? I think Collette was worried for his future, as the 'woman' had dollar signs in her eyes, and was very possessive of him to me. I can see why his friend Collette wanted him to go out with someone she knew from high school.
Ross asked me to write about this today. He asked me last night in my meditation.
One thing I have always known about myself was I have the personality of an executive wife. I am knowledgeable about a great many things, an excellent conversationalist at a party (even though I don't like parties! LOL), and I make someone feel like they are the only person in the world when I talk to them. I am an excellent team player, and I always make my team look in the best possible light.
I also, as a soul, have a very strong feminine energy, which is attracted to an equally strong--masculine, alpha male type (only a spiritually alpha male)...and my soul carries with is a reputation for a great many things...some of which come out only in an intimate one on one interaction (these are the words Ross is using to describe it--it's hard to be politically correct).
His teaching point is that for all the wordiness of that young man, he couldn't have been more off the mark about me, even when he was in my presence. He couldn't detect it. And, as Ross says it, one day he will go, 'man! I had a date with her! and she was the one that got away...'
(he's smiling very warmly as he says it, and is very pleased I am here for him--and HE appreciates me!)
The world as you know it is going to change. It will be like everyone at a costume party taking off their masks and finding out who is who underneath the costume.
And it will be fun.
I want you to enjoy it.
(he taps the seat next to him--ed) Come right on down and have a front row seat.
I want you to know you are making a difference for the whole project in everything you are doing for our team.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla