I have reached a new breakthrough.

The information is coming through so fast for me now, from Spirit, I must distill it. I can't put it all together for you like before, every link, every video, every website, for reference.

You're just going to have to take my word for it.

Three major breakthroughs have come through my consciousness. I know they may sound trite, but with the evolution in consciousness I embody them/understand them/am better able to process them than ever before:

It's time to put on my Galactic Big Girl Panties and make sure my own cup is full before I engage in other activities. This gets me in touch with my soul, my Higher Self, and Source energy. It is coursing through me now stronger than ever.
It is better to go through life with an attitude that 'it is just a little tweaked in your favor' for a positive outcome. This is a very nice way to translate 'the law of attraction' into something less lofty and accessible to all.
I am my own worst enemy. I am because I believed the lies and the crap that have been spoon fed to me since I was an infant. The lie is, 'I am a VICTIM'. Another way to say this, psychologically, is 'I had a LACK of INTERNAL CONTROL' -- I had more of a locus of External Control. This is a HUGE factor in the things which had previously been basically lip service. When a VICTIM filter is on you, you go through the five precepts of Reiki (the 'just for this days') but it's mental. You mean well. It's something to work towards...but...well, hard to succeed. You blame everything else--traffic, circumstances, whatever--for how it affects you. Galactics have laser-like focus and concentration. I've already seen what my gifts can do (more on this later). They are totally OBVIOUS. The system of the Galactics WORKS. Even here. It's just a matter of discovering who you are, and not being willing to take any crap for it. Resolve, I suppose is another word. But it's not something you can will yourself to achieve. It's only through your life lessons...staying on target so to speak...that when lived with an open heart and an open mind, just...happens. Like it did recently to me.

I'm so tired of the bullshit and games at my work. I see right through it. And I went to work early. ANYONE can get to work early when the only person they have to get ready in the morning is them. Anthony has a summer cold, had a fever yesterday, so I kept him home.

I had all my work done by seven, was waiting for a surgeon, sipping a pumpkin spice coffee from a genuine mug in the break room when my boss came in late. I looked bored and professional, at the same time, like, 'yes I have to just sit here and wait now instead of working. Great.'

It felt good.

And when Nagi asked me mid-morning in the break room, 'so? you are doing OB now?' I shot back, 'do I have a choice?'

The nurse next to me exclaimed, 'Good Answer!'

Then I got up and left.

Nagi is the mastermind behind this change. He is the one who conspired with the others behind our backs. And the one who let slip (would you want to do OB? No. I would not.) according to my boss wasn't supposed to ask me. Their story is that they are too dependent on one person to cover OB call and the rest don't want money any more they want time.

How I see it? We were once all the same. Then there was the change. Then the others wanted opportunity to make more money. Well, that means working MORE, not LESS. So for three years they did that. Then they decided we had the better deal working less...so they want that now too.

It's ridiculous.

And I don't have time on earth for ridiculous.

For the first time in my life I am blunt, direct, and looking people in the eye at work. What you see is what you get, I don't play games.

I told my boss I was humiliated and degraded to be told like that in front of everyone about this new policy. I told him I didn't know how to chart, program an epidural pump, or even get into the call room. He didn't apologize but he met my request to have time to adjust back into it. And also, to have my OB calls coincide with the coparenting schedule.

I never questioned the decision to put me back on OB. I raised my concern on how this decision was reached without my knowledge--my boss met with all kinds of high ranking nurses and OB directors and obstetricians. That takes time. And advance planning. That's why the decision was so painful. And two of the four affected weren't even present at the time.

I have this feeling deep in my soul, that no matter what they do to me, I will win. I will survive.

And I also had a wonderful chat with a former resident, who shared her side of how the residents felt after I and the other attending were denied renewal of our contracts with the University. They were in shock. They fought it. They couldn't believe it could happen. They knew I would do anything for them. Dr. Zeev Kain said to them that 'this is my house, and I decide the rules'.

She said, they didn't know how to reach me to talk to me after I was let go. (I had twenty four hours to clear out my office and locker).

And they had no idea Kain took my retirement money from the University. They set aside money. At eight years it was mine. But the other docs and I who were let go were at seven and one half years. The only money I got to keep was my own I had put into a 401 K. No pension no nothing else for me. Nada.

It helped my heart to hear her words.

Panda. That's her name. I kid you not. Her parents were Thai and wanted to name their kids something global. Her brother is Polar.

I need to sleep soon.

Here's the amazing miracles from my birthday:

I was in the bottom of the Pirates after the second drop, and I saw Michael, Raphael, Ross and I think three others, standing shoulder to shoulder, wearing glowing white Galactic apparel. They communicated to me that they are going to clean up all the darkness and suffering on Earth. All of it. Every last bit.
Ross told me to go to the stores on main street and listen to Anthony for my present from him. Anthony cut sharply towards the street. It was the most expensive store with crystal, Arribas Brothers. Anthony pointed to small statues with sparkling crystals in them. He said to get any one I liked. I was cautious and looked under the glass shelf for the price. I wanted piglet and pooh because I loved their Tao books. I couldn't see, I didn't have my glasses. So I asked Anthony. It was like, one hundred seventy five dollars. I was thinking, um, no...too much. then a woman with a distinctive voice said the (teeniest tiniest) ones there were forty dollars. I remembered. I looked at the name. It was her! My patient! My one and only patient who was from Belgium, who was absolutely charming in PreOp holding, and worked on Main street! We took a photo together. And I didn't have the heart to buy anything in front of her--expensive--because she paid me with both her insurance and her money.
After dinner, I stopped by the store I like in Disney California Adventure. I was looking at the jewelry when Anthony told me, 'mom, not all gifts need to sparkle'. Then that moment, from the top shelf, a purse fell right off the shelf onto the ground. It was like it had been pushed! It landed with a loud THUMP and startled Anthony, me and the sales lady. I realized it was Spirit. So I bought the purse. I was told later that it was from Michael.

Spirit is real. All this stuff is right on.

The main OR is wanting to do aromatherapy now. I shared I had donated a diffuser to pre-op (they put it in a cupboard) last December and it's still there. I would supply the oil. Free. And if they want to see how it works, they can visit the surgery center.

That's a huge huge step! In the right direction.

I'm stating to remember who I was before Ross had his untimely death. I was no slouch. I was like him. We were then and still are now a team, of which I am an integral part. I'm shedding the trauma, the victim, and the pain as I face my 'adversaries'--at work, those who are asleep and highly misguided about so many things, yet still God's children and my brothers and sisters--with RESOLVE.

Resolve to make things right, not in an earthly sense, but in a Galactic one.

Walk the walk.

Talk the talk.

Love those who are difficult and need it the most.

Not a soft, mamby pamby 'love' I thought was being 'spiritual'.

With the laser-like inexhaustible focus of Divine Creator of All That Is, and a commitment to seeing this through to the end however it plays out--holding my head up high and not sinking down to dirty politics and back room shit and lies. Just calling a spade a spade, and doing my thing as long as I am able to do it.

One surgeon said, 'excellent anesthetic Carla!' as we wheeled the patient to PACU. My boss Magdi was walking towards us, heard it, and said nothing.

I added, looking over my head, 'would you mind saying that louder for my boss to hear please?'

The surgeon said it AGAIN.

Life is good.

Life is good when you know who your friends are.

And when they are angels?

Together you are unstoppable.

Ross wants me to get to bed.

He says good night.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,