Isn't this adorable? It's like the snail is saying, 'hello! I AM going to pull this heavy rock with me. Just you wait!'
I will get to you on the significance of the title in a minute.
For an overview, there are lots of 'sources' I will cite in this article, not really with the expectation for you to 'follow' where I have been. It's for the curious, those who wish to see how I made the conclusions I reach as of late.
It's really hard to describe where I am in my journey at the moment. Perhaps the best way to describe it is I'm feeling the effects of the new moon in Gemini very much, and grateful for the explanation. Here's a link from my reiki teacher Anne Reith on it: https://www.annereith.com/new-moon-in-gemini-may-25-2017/
Let me just say in the workplace, the incredible resistance I've been experiencing is part of this 'roller coaster' for me.
The only thing I had to describe my day at work yesterday was 'it was excrement'.
Poor Anthony didn't know what that word meant. I had to define it for him.
'It's poop honey. My day was poop.'
It wasn't the patients.
It was just the nature of the assignment for the day.
I thought I would end at twelve.
Actually, it ended around five.
That's a lot for a short call.
I had to go do one case here, another there, get interrupted from my lunch to go to a different place, then to come back where they delayed a case because I wasn't available. I arrived to see the surgeon CLAPPING his hands at me to 'hurry! hurry! hurry!'...as if I could just 'throw' anesthesia at someone?!
Then I get called while I'm on the toilet, by a colleague, who is to relieve me, but then won't because the patient ate five and one half hours ago, and we need to wait six.
There were good points and highlights. The best was seeing the bracelets on the nurses arms, and finding one who actually gave a bracelet to 'someone in need' as I had asked--and that person thanking me.
My gastroenterologist has 'two cases a year where he can't find the cecum'.
They happened with me present, back to back.
When the scope has difficulty, we adjust the position of the patient while the assistants apply pressure to the abdomen.
Try that while you are giving anesthesia with an i.v. and watching the pulse ox the whole case, with the i.v. kinking, the pulse ox falling off, and the patient either going bradycardia, hypotensive, or hypoxic at any given time superimposed on the movement...for an hour.
If you add the layer of the Spiritual work I do, and all its complexity, you would see why I am increasingly tired, and grateful to have the day off.
I see clearly why my job satisfaction is low--there's no real benefit to me, personally, besides the paycheck and having my foot 'in the ring' so to speak, in healthcare. I rush to work, am there by seven, and have no control over my needs (food, sleep, family time, exercise). I go home when I'm permitted, only to wake up and do it all again.
I realize it takes mindfulness of a master to keep calm and even keel, fueled by lots of gratitude for 'the little things' to keep me going.
And also a blind eye to the dirty dishes in the sink, you know?
This photo had the tag line in the comment about Sisyphus.
I had to look it up: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sisyphus
It was fascinating!
This one resonates--and it's timely--https://thecreatorwritings.wordpress.com/2017/05/24/learning-and-growing/
Here are some comments which the excrement day brought the truth out:
- In the lunchroom, the Egyptian OB anesthesiologist regarded the TV broadcast of the explosion in Britain. She paused, weighed her words, and went on. She said, 'thirty two (or fifty two I forget) people die in explosions in two Egyptian churches on Palm Sunday (she's Coptic--Egyptian Christian). Where is it in the news? It's ignored. People just wanted to go and pray, and they were slaughtered. Yet, when young people go to a concert, for fun, and not to pray, it's all over the news. You have to wonder about the people who make the news.'
- 'I can't afford my own house' said the orthopedic surgeon with a wry smile. He owns MANY apartment buildings, he's super rich, and yet, he's proud and pleased his home has 'tripled in value'. I overheard him tell a rep that. It's the greed of people in his 'rank' and 'business' which has taken the housing market off the charts down here in Southern California! (He's the one I refuse to work with, he's so pushy, negative, and unpleasant. The only surgeon of them all I won't work with. And he feels the same about me. It's mutual. We are 'friendly and polite' in the doctors lounge, but we don't like each other.)
- 'people just want to take a pill to fix everything' (discussion with a mom of another basketball team member who works in education and was discussing anxiety. She's a special ed teacher. Very grounded.) It's true. Anthony doesn't 'like' having to do his exercises. And yet, although it's his 'medicine'--taking responsibility for his healing...he's reaping the results and playing better. Anxiety needs--the mom and I agree--total mindfulness and a CHANGE in our lifestyle--fast paced 'routine' here in Southern California...to heal the anxious. It would save a lot of money in healthcare if children were taught how to meditate and to be grounded, and if better nutrition and exercise and family time and socializing were available. Like in Europe where they cut the work day to four hours...for full time pay.
I was working on my last case when the data from the anesthesia machine (vent settings, inspired oxygen, carbon dioxide levels, gas flows) wasn't feeding into the automated electronic anesthesia record. It was very time consuming--I entered them by hand. And I troubleshooted as much as I could with no success.
I called my friend who works with computers in the hospital. On their end they saw what I said was happening--the monitor was giving the blood pressure and heart rate and oxygen saturation--into the system fine. Just not the anesthesia machine/ventilator.
I had actually crawled in the back, and adjusted the connection between the machine and the computer.
But I wiggled it.
Apparently you need to unplug and replug it at the USB port.
And it is called a VENT dongle.
VENT...lol. To vent...
I learned yesterday online that there are three patterns to complaining.
- people who VENT and don't expect help (that's my way, typically)
- people who want sympathy and someone to console them
- people who complain as it is their nature, habit, custom to complain.
The article said that complaining rewires the brain to only complain more. And that GRATITUDE for anything, even the little things, is the key to rewire the brain to experience more JOY.
The law of attraction says to feel the things you wish to attract--to feel LOVE to attract more LOVE, to feel JOY to attract more JOY, and to feel abundant to attract more abundance.
I think there's a link in there somehow!
This article here called to me. My soul understands it on some level. I consciously don't. I suspect it's mixed info/disinfo. Anytime something gets a little to 'complicated' (the part about RA and the codes that were stolen) my eyes just glass over.
But the part about inverted systems, and the concept of LOOSH (is that how Lucifer got the name? LOOSH-ifer?) are good.
Here's another concept, 'reversals'--in this not so easy to watch video--where I would take that part and the rest with a grain of salt:
I'm going to add a little more for you--take it or leave it. The first is Drake's singing the one song 'walking on water' at the Bellagio on GYALCHESTER (this is the black/African American term for 'Manchester' England) ...and the coincidence before the bombing within the next twenty-four hours:
In addition, the data on the deceased saying, 'it's going to kill me to meet Ariana' was just a little more than 'slang' I think. Here's the video:
And finally, these guys here, Doc Vader/ZDoggMD--and team--aren't awake. They aren't truthers. And yet, they question 'empathy fatigue', just like 'alarm fatigue'
How am I doing?
Physically, with my health? Priority one? I'm feeling much better with the stretches. I did seven thousand steps yesterday. I'm able to cook again, and also, to forgive myself for having to eat out so often due to my lifestyle/demands on my time. My stress levels are better.
Spiritually, I'm moving forward with great resistance, and proceeding with attunements for my students. I'm happy people are loving their bracelets and spiritual work I do for them.
Anthony is good, and happy, and well. So are the pets. The garden needs a little help. I hope to work on it today.
The household? Well, bills are paid. The home isn't exactly neat, clean, or in good repair, but I know who to call for the problems, and I will work on them one at a time at a snail's pace. Right now, the car needs to be serviced because the thing went up to remind me on the dashboard.
My patients? Good outcomes. In so many ways. Nice working relationships with my colleagues too, which is a plus. I use my voice on emergence so much more to gently soothe and awaken the patience, and reinforce that everything went well.
The lawsuit? I don't know. It will settle one way or the other. No matter what, my insurance rates go UP. I've done all I could, and am in a waiting phase.
My work here? On the blog? I'm super excited.
I'm stoked I'm 'under the radar'.
I'm pleased with the growth of people I know through this page, how it helps them, and how they are awakening.
I'm excited and always have new projects in mind...and it really keeps me going.
It's hard to explain, but I'm happy and content that the Galactics aren't rushing in and doing everything for me. I like pulling my own weight, being part of a team.
Ross is so quiet. I know he's busy. And I'm just sending him and his teams LOVE.
I forgot one of the most important lessons he gave me.
I have two chronic health conditions.
One is sinuses.
They have been jacked up since my transsphenoidal in 1990.
I'm pretty sure I have a superbug colonized in there.
Spirit had me go off my antibiotics.
I have to DO something. I'm on oregano oil, and I'm doing saline rinses. They help. I still get tired, and I'm always on the edge of asthma.
But Spirit said to LOVE IT.
To direct pure and unconditional love to my sinus cavities. And I do.
It's helping me to tip the scales in my favor.
My other condition is I'm obese/overweight/out of shape.
I don't like the shape of my body. On the one hand, I'm doing okay for my age. But I miss the one of health I had ten years ago. The work, the hours, the stress, the parenting are 'getting to me'.
Spirit says to LOVE IT.
Spirit says the fat won't go away--in Anthony or me--unless I love it unconditionally.
So I have acceptance.
I joke and say, if there is a food shortage Anthony and I are going to be OKAY!
And I do my best to get in shape, even if it's just with the stretching.
(I'm wearing my special jacket that means so much to me right now. It's my father's army one. He used to wear it when we went camping. It has our last name on it. This is from the Korean war. It's so old. And it gives me so very much comfort in these times of change. Last night, after basketball, Anthony and I went to Dickey's ...that place is all about meat. And Anthony is all about meat. We shared a meal, and enjoyed ourselves, and I laughed inwardly at how in 2013 I could have NEVER imagined myself inside this place in the future. I thought vegetarian was it for me. And the lessons I've learned! Vegetarian lifestyle requires planning, and TIME. TIME to eat a salad at lunch, and chew. TIME to prepare the food. And time to have the snacks you need during the day. With my line of work, it's not going to happen. Not by the book. Now, for lunch yesterday, I had vegetarian. Salad first, with a little tuna salad scoop. Then vegetarian eggplant parmesan with fake cheese. I've built that into the system at work, and I had time fortunately to eat it. But to enjoy my son, and not worry about the food, and to know the times like this where he's excited over the things he shares...are fleeting, precious, and not to be ruined by ideology over what to eat and where. The relationship is more important. Yes, I got the twinge about the animals. And I put it in my pocket, where I will create meals for us that aren't with cruelty too. I trust the Universe will show me the way. and THIS, THIS, is what made my father's soul smile. I felt it. I felt his spirit with us...and I was glad to feel it/sense it....)
Carla has said enough for today.
I'm waiting to talk with you.
I will let her go.
And for those of you who are wondering, vanilla is my favorite flavor.
Whenever you go and order any food that is the flavor vanilla, I will be there.
Carla's tastes may come and go as they are part of her lessons.
As for me, MY tastes are eternal, and vanilla truly is the favorite thing to eat for me.
I will write more, later.
P.S. continue to watch the skies!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc couple