Today I was meditating while making bracelets. I felt 'her', my Higher Self, trying to make contact with me again.
Even though technically she is 'me', we don't have very much in common. I find her rather annoying, frankly. Especially now in times like this.
I want to make Peace.
I countered with, 'Is this for you? or for me?' and I explained that I am perfectly fine as I am, making the bracelets, and I didn't ask for this.
She paused, holding her words. And I sensed that in the 'bigger sense', Peace between us would be an admirable goal.
He asked me why I talk to him but I don't like to talk to her?
He was direct, open, and curious.
I couldn't find the words, but he intuited my distress, and he made a signal and thanked me for my insight to help the others in the Ascension thing out.
I am the Galactic 'guinea pig' with the changes of Ascension.
What I couldn't say in words, because it was emotions, was that down here, multiple personality disorder is BAD, and often associated with Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart's Monarch Mind Control Programming/MK Ultra. People who have multiple personalities--on any level--need lots of time, compassionate healing, and skilled therapists to 'merge' all the personalities together into One.
Therefore, anything of a Higher Self, even if it's completely NORMAL and COMMONPLACE in Spirit, is definitely 'freaky' for those of us down here incarnate, on the front lines, as the Ground Crew.
Ross was smart to figure that out.
He's a real 'can do' kind of Lightworker.
You know what he did?
It gave me complete and total delight.
He handed me a 'Primer'. It's a little book, hardcover, and very old fashioned.
I asked, 'You mean this is like the handbook for the recently deceased in the movie Beetlejuice?!' with a huge smile spreading across my face.
He nodded professionally, the kind where he watches closely for my reaction, and said yes.
I am completely and totally delighted to have a resource I can read AT MY OWN PACE, to help me 'figure things out' without someone or another Up There trying to presume that I understand it.
I tried to open it. I couldn't. But I hope in meditation, it will make sense, and I can gather the information at a pace that's right for me.
Ross was busy today. Behind the scenes.
Anthony had a cellulitis from a mosquito bite he had scratched. It was very painful on Thursday night. I used a sharpie to outline the border of the redness. I forgot to check on it on Friday, but I told his dad. Anthony texted me, and said it was worse on Saturday morning. Bigger. More painful. More red. No pus.
I taught him by text how to do a warm compress. (I learned that from a roommate's mom, who was an OB nurse while I was in college). I told him to do it every twenty minutes for as long as he could.
I also sent the link to WebMD on Cellulitis.
And I told a friend who is a physician and Reiki practitioner too.
We both sent Reiki.
She was ready to call in a prescription if needed.
It wasn't needed.
Anthony said, 'it just looks like skin' now. It's one hundred percent healed. Without meds!
I had a bad run-in with the poopy butt of our bunny. I cleaned her cage, I checked her bottom, and it was the worst I have ever seen. The entire tail area was blocked with matted fecal material, most of it very hardened and stuck.
She was obstructed.
She would be dead in twelve hours if I ignored it.
(I had seen the poop last week, and Anthony and I thought to let her try to clean herself...it didn't work).
I don't know how I did it, but I digitally disimpacted her external area, and I managed to removed all the hard stuck rocks of dried poop. She didn't like it. I didn't like it, but I pulled the fur away with my right hand from the hard rocks I held in my left while the bunny was on my lap and pinned under my right arm. My hands were also in warm fresh stuff, unfortunately, and I had to get that off her too. When it was done I let her go. She scratched me once but fortunately it wasn't deep.
I was covered with fur, and shit, but she was saved.
No one ever said saving a life was pretty.
So I washed and I washed and I washed and I felt like my shower would never get me clean, but it did.
Then I couldn't zip up my dress. I struggled with it and I struggled with it. It fit, yet somehow I needed longer arms to get it up.
But I made it to my sister's shower. It was the most beautiful shower I've ever seen.
And I got to sit next to her on the right.
Sadly, I had to leave early to be home when Anthony's dad dropped him off. I was running late. And Anthony didn't have his key.
But we managed.
The poor child was starving and asked me by text to buy him a 'small hamburger from anywhere'. Fortunately my car was on fumes (I never go below a quarter tank but being late I risked it), and I had just filled up when I got the text. The burger place was next door. I did the drive through.
Anthony settled into his homework, hating it.
I was putting off paying some bills that needed me to write checks, because I hate that too.
Then I wasn't sure what to make for dinner, because the Italian sausages had been thawed last week, and had been too many days in the fridge for the sausage and peppers I planned to be 'safe'.
There was a Dragonite nearby.
Anthony and I flew out of the house to go catch it. We drove to the area, which is restricted and hard to get in.
We got in.
The darn thing ran away from both of us! But Anthony has a second account for Pokemon Go, and caught it on that.
I'm sure that was Ross, because he was laughing at us in a nice way as he saw us taking off, with Anthony in the thrill of the chase.
( A Dratini will turn into a middle thing after twenty five candies. A 'Dragonaire'. But then it's one hundred Dragonite candies to make a Dragonite, and it's five kilometers of walking to get one Dragonite candy! )
I asked, 'so now where do you want to go?'
We thought Dana Point Harbor.
We had so much fun. We walked very far. And we caught many things. Then we put our feet in the ocean and threw rocks to the waves. We were there until sunset, and I had that 'I've spent a good day at the beach' feeling on the drive home, feet all crusty with sand.
Ross wants me to share.
There was a large heart-shaped rock I took photos of but wasn't allowed to take. I set it on another rock.
Then I found some for a friend, clear white quartz, polished by the ocean. Spirit made sure I knew who it was for, and which ones. Loud and clear! The place they were found was in a makeshift pile of stones caused by the crashing waves. With every wave that receded to the sea, the rocks made the most wonderful tumbling and rushing sound. There were three, and then one with an unusual band of white all around the circumference at the widest point of the smooth rock.
I found many tiny heart-shaped ones and kept them.
But as I threw one of the white quartz ones--there weren't a ton, they were rare--Ross said, 'make a wish!'
I said, 'I wish I had a husband. I wish I had a husband who was here with me on the beach Right Now. And I thank you for your son here with me. And I wish I would KNOW my husband was HERE, and be able to watch the sunset with him.'
Ross had a wish too. He wished 'for a wife who will UNDERSTAND'. He said it with the tone of a long-suffering husband with a wife who nags him too much, just to annoy me and let me know he cares, like an old married couple.
My eye soon afterwards caught sight of another rock with the unusual band of white around the middle. It was in the middle of the pile of stones that got wet, and not easy to maneuver in bare feet.
There was also the delight of the waves rushing in over my feet, all foamy white and cool, as I went to get it.
I thought it was for my friend, when I picked it up.
Ross was like, 'No!'
And I saw it.
It was one side black, the other white, but on the white side was a perfect heart in black that covered the whole side!
It was a sign!
And I gave thanks in my heart, relaxed, and knew I was very much loved by Ross...and I understood.
We had dinner at the local Outback. I have a little anemia. I can tell because when I eat beets my urine turns red. If you have enough iron, it won't turn red. It's a nice little indicator for anemia I found out not too long ago. So I ate not a full six ounce Outback steak. I had half a baked potato. A full caesar salad. And a little bread. And not quite half a glass of cabernet from Greg Norman.
We came home...poor Anthony had lost his little clicker for his Pokemon at the beach and was devastated. It was the second time he had lost it and had to reorder one. He ended up finding his first one in the laundry basket, and gave the second one to me. I had offered it back to him, but he was very sad over the carelessness, and losing it, and the expense. I told him not to worry, today was someone's lucky day who found it, and Spirit usually thinks when we lose something that the finder has more need for it than us. So, once home, I ordered him a new one. And then I lost MY glasses. I looked all over the house. Finally I found them. Then I made four bracelets (one for the MRI tech, and her mother who just found her cancer has recurred metastatic breast everywhere, another for a nurse at the surgery center where I will work tomorrow, and surprisingly enough, one for the daughter of a scrub tech--I knew to make one for her and her husband, but Spirit wants this first), and he played his video, and now it is done.
Time for bed. (11:11pm).
Ross will you excuse me please?
(he nods yes. And I feel warmth in my chest from him, too, his caring. I feel it very well, and it feels nice. )
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple