Friday, August 26, 2016

Spiritual Uneasiness

Yesterday I was on my way to work when to my surprise Ross popped in, clear, and after a brief hesitation, he gave me a kiss and wished me good day.

He told me he had looked ahead, and my day was good so enjoy it!

He stepped back, and to his left I saw my beloved Nana Angelina.  I was thrilled to see her! She's been gone now almost two years, I was there with her when she died, I helped her soul cross over to Home, and I haven't heard from her--mysteriously--since.

Nana looked at me funny.

I've never seen her without an open heart to me. But this time, she looked at me with disbelief and regret that wasn't easy for me to figure out.

She told me my life is good!

So while I was clarifying with her, 'do you mean from birth until now? or from now into the future?' I was scrambling to sort out this new emotion I both felt and noticed in her...

She said, 'from now into the future'.

Oddly enough, she didn't have much rapport with Ross, either.

What I picked up in her is a form of Spiritual Regret for having not realized in Life, who I actually was.  Nana was 'berating herself' for not doing certain things she would have done if she had known I was Mrs. Ross. I 'saw' how she had a whole script of how she 'would have done this' and she 'would have said that'...and that was on her mind the whole time since she passed!

My heart was filled with compassion, and I told her, from my heart,'Nana, the veil is THICK!' and  'How much better it is for you to have loved me as your granddaughter so well, the way you always did, in your unknowing?'

But her soul still didn't budge from its self-judgement and her resultant emotional separation from me because of the time spent close to me and 'she didn't know'.   She kept looking at me funny, almost the way a patient who has paranoia looks at you, wary, guarded.

Ross leaned in and whispered that 'you are going to see a lot of this' and the 'you' meant 'all of the Lightworkers who were sent'--the Angels and Archangels and the like.

I sensed it was time to go. But I couldn't leave Nana without a gift, something to remember me by.

I gave her a bouquet of my prayer flowers (*will explain more later) and told her they were fresh from this morning.  They were like a store bought nice bouquet, the twenty-five dollar kind, with the paper on the outside and everything.

It startled her out of her funk.  Then I felt her thoughts, and she was saying, 'She really IS who she is!' and her heart opened in love the way it always did in the past.   Instantly, she put a gold necklace over my head, as a gift from her, and it was the one she wanted me to have, the one with the gold and the garnets she had given to my sister.  She had given me the choice of both the one I have (the heart she wore that says in Italian on it, me and you and you and me on it) and the nicer one. I chose the one I always saw her wear while I was growing up, because to me, that IS Nana. She told me then I had made the wrong choice--even though in my heart I knew I had made the right one!--and she still thinks I'm wrong to this day, lol)

She also commented on my making of the Tiramisu for the first time, and how I did a nice job of it, and she was happy.

She told me to wear my necklace as she has a blessing in it for me.  (so I got mine out and put it on after I got home.)

Then she left.

On the way home from work, Ross popped in. We had normal conversation. But something unusual happened.  He asked me if I could pick one set of china as my favorite, which one would it be?

I said my wedding china, in the pattern Albany by Royal Doulton, because it's the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, with little shells on it. But then I had an afterthought, about my special Mikasa china I got for my birthday when Anthony was two. I think the name is Monticello--it's blue at the edge with a little gold. It was a tough decision.

He asked me, 'well what about OUR china?'  Indeed, we have Portmeiron salad plates, both in ovals and rounds--only three plates each, for Anthony, Ross and me (I set a place for Ross at our table).

Then I was REALLY stuck! It is beautiful, the Portmeiron, with its botanical prints, and such a lovely memory of earth!

In a flash, I was up in our kitchen on board ship...and Ross opened the cupboards.

There were all three!

He showed me how when I come Home, I will be able to cook as much as I please, and we can eat together too, just like we were together on Earth.  Even though the replicator technology exists, since cooking is something I enjoy, I won't have to stop developing my skills once I go back to be with him.

I was overwhelmed with his lovingkindness and thoughtfulness for me, and started to cry tears of relief and gratitude!  I was very deeply moved and filled with ease that this new phase of my life is going to be 'okay', and not like the current one has been, where I have had to learn to control my mind and keep it positive so I can manifest good things. And it hasn't always been simple!

Why did Ross tell me my day was going to be okay? Why did he show me Nana?

I had some challenges--things I can't share--but it wasn't exactly ME who had them. Let me say that surgery is complex, and there are many emotions involved, and I was witness to them. I was constantly a source of Lovingkindness, and Trust to everyone I interacted with. I was in the right place. And I called in Raphael and Ross to help heal EVERYTHING, the whole time.
Everything turned out for the best--I can't explain more, sorry--but I have a new appreciation for all of my teams, both incarnate and disincarnate--and how the lessons arrive.

The second part is that Anthony wanted a video game, Madden 2017. We went to a small franchise near our grocery store. Anthony accurately picked up the energy, and asked, 'mom, do you want to leave the store?'

I wanted to 'get it over with' so I said, 'let's just buy it here'.  My 'mom' mode was stronger than my 'antennas'--it's hard to explain. And Anthony's was working fine.

He had problems playing it at home. We had to go back to that store. Then they were rude, not helpful--I saw the eyes with the darkest lack of soul I have seen in a long, long time. We won't go back again.

The error message that came up we couldn't interpret. So we called the Microsoft store--and made an appointment. I insisted we eat dinner first--quick microwave of last night's leftovers.  Apparently Anthony started playing instead of letting it load all the way; he always starts when it says ready to play, but this time it wasn't enough.

The customer service was excellent. And the energy (this place I've done lots of work on in the past) was more 'light'. Even then, close to my bedtime, I hit a wall as he was trying to decide on what headphones. He had lost a pair. I walked over and he put a pair of Turtle Bay ones on for me to try. I couldn't hear anything else, and I blurted out, 'I can't have you with these on because if I need help you can't hear me--I would have to call 911 and you'd keep playing away and never notice. It's just us two in the house, and I need you to hear when I call.'  He saw my point. He bought the twenty dollar ones, like he had.

On the one hand, I realize this IS his childhood--putting off all I needed to do for two nights after work. And on the other, I realize it's a teaching opportunity too--on 'how much favor to ask'--for Anthony, and I let him know when 'it's enough'.

I got the mail--it's never fun. The dental insurance needs my new credit card information (after the stolen wallet the charges did not go through)--but they word it so mean like my coverage will be cancelled any minute. And bills. There are always the bills. The gardener doesn't do the best job and he's always asking for money too.

I just wish I had more time to get on the phone and manage these things, you know?

The good news is I cleaned a little area of the house, my bin where I put my things after work, my 'basket'--and I found the keys to my PO box I'd lost for some time. I have a spare but this made me happy.


Carla brings up a delicate subject:  the judging a soul has for itself when the time is right to have Eyes Open. (he gestures with hands opening suddenly and fingers spread)

All you can be is Love.

Just like Carla.

Everyone comes to their senses.  Eventually.

For some it seems the longest time. (holds one finger up--ed)

But they do!

You are going to see lots and lots of this.

Not just in the ability to see how they have been duped by The Other Team (those who do not have our best interest at heart)  but how they have been blind! (you know how when people do a dance move that's like a peace sign they pull horizontally over their eyes, one side and then the other? he does that--and smiles--ed)

(he means 'blind' by how we are right under their nose and they never even knew they are in the presence of angels, in fact, very high ranking ones.--ed)

clap! clap!

Time for some tiramisu (we have been eating it for breakfast and it keeps us full a long time. There's lots of eggs in it--ed)

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple

* Prayer Flowers:  this is one of the nicest gifts you can give to a loved one up in Heaven. When you say prayers, from your heart, and they are pure Love--little flowers are created. They look and smell just like the ones you find on earth. But they never wilt. They always stay nice. The more Reiki you send, the more prayers, the more meditation--the more and the nicer the flowers.  Share them with your loved ones today!