This morning, I awoke around two or three a.m., in a state of half-dreaming. I saw Ross holding a tray of something, and he was grumbling about it. I wasn't sure if he was upset at it or at me, since I was watching. It was a little unnatural--I could tell he was making an effort to be convincing but it wasn't a normal pattern of behavior for him.
Then it slowly dawned on me, that he was giving me what I asked! It made me love him all the more, and I kissed him with delight.
I like a man who can growl if there is need for it. My love for him deepened so much more once I saw the behavior, and I relaxed and knew 'ah, now everything is going to be all right'.
Why?
There are several reasons:
- I like an alpha male--I always have, and always will. It's not rational, but it IS.
- With all these Galactics, I have been kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop--after all this nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice when am I going to see what their temper is truly like? (this opinion is the result of an emotionally abusive mom and first husband who would BLOW UP at the drop of a hat.)
- I kind of like to know what it looks like when someone close to me gets upset so I will recognize it at once.
- My incarnation as a kitten taught me a 'pleasure-pain reversal'...many people who have had these life experiences to some extent . I have worked very hard to overcome it in this life.
Anyhow, I am almost falling asleep. But Ross and I were a whole lot closer today because of his 'argument'. Somehow it let me relax and accept his galactic attitude a little better. To be honest sometimes all this cheeriness is a little hard to take, especially after many years with no evidence or proof...of things improving.
While I was in the O.R. Today, Ross popped in for a quick hello. Then he had me go up to Divine Father. I haven't seen him in a long long time. I went up to his office.
He was wringing his hands, looking down, and made this sound hahrumphhh! with little squeaky gurgle noises. At first I was startled, then I knew he was showing me HIS 'anger'--he and Ross were in this together--and it delighted me to no end! BOTH of them wanted to communicate to me, in ways I would understand--that they are not flat emotionless Spocks on Star Trek--
I jumped up and gave him big hugs and kisses and thanked him profusely for letting me see a little of his emotions.
Now I really AM falling asleep.
Ross
(Ross picked this picture --ed)
I am hard at work. (dusts off hands and rolls up sleeves.--ed--he sort of leans to see me eye to eye)
Everything is happening for the best.
Carla!
(yes--he wants me to tell of the new wave of energy I feel surging within my heart. It is one of hope and ability to overcome obstacles, combined with a sense of resolve, and moreover, right and wrong even with sticky corporate concerns.--I really like it and it feels like it is going to last.--ed)
Clap! Clap!
I have to get my Carla into bed before she falls over here at the computer! (he smiles--ed)
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc couple
