I am hungry.
I am going to bed without dinner because it's too late to eat. It's ten o'clock. I had very little food and even less water during the day at work. The pets have food from this morning--they are hungry too.
I learned a lot about myself today.
After a bubble bath I took to relax, I am in my night clothes and ready to share about my day with you.
Sometimes Spirit pushes us to grow.
On the way home from work, Ross was in his office, and I was facing him and we were talking. He is my guardian as well as my Twin. He asked me what was the best and the worst about my day?
The best was, I have a new skill. Today I did an inter scalene block, something I've always known how to do with a twitch monitor (nerve stimulator needle) but have been struggling with the 'new' way to do it with an ultrasound machine to image the nerves. The trouble is, not everyone looks like the pictures in the textbook when you scan them! Today I was able to do the blocks with appropriate speed and accuracy like my peers who are 'good' at the nerve blocks. It was a real turning point for how I feel about myself at work. It was a huge thing!
The worst?
Remember how I said how things are for the Highest Good are supported when you manifest?
Sometimes the Highest Good means accepting something you don't want, too.
Here is my lesson. It was hard learning, and I hope to accelerate yours after my work at it:
- early today I was FILLED with longing for Ross and Anthony. I didn't want to leave my home and go to work. I love my work, but I just needed 'more'.
- once at work, and the patient was stable, Ross came and gave me some guidance. He asked me some questions. I told him how I needed him, I couldn't explain why. When he gave me energy, all of a sudden that longing disappeared! He didn't give me the contact I had wanted (hugs, support) but there was an invisible transfer of energy that shored me up, energetically, and it felt nourishing to my soul.
- he also challenged me to think about what being his Twin means--in both how it affects me, and in the big picture. I like it when I get an assignment to think.
- Anthony had a playoff game tonight in basketball. And I got a STRONG message from spirit to stay at my work. I was late call, and would have had to do a lot of switching. I switched yesterday to go home early and be able to pick Anthony up. My mother's heart felt awful! But I could see I need the money, and only on call days do I really earn my share, and by supporting us I was also benefiting Anthony. I see that as much as I love to be 'domestic'--in this life I can't go running to do everything like I have been doing for Anthony. I WORK and I work hard to make a life for us.
- I FELT Anthony as he was playing the game. Miles away, I 'connected' to him. I felt the initial start of the game, and his wanting to do well. And I felt around the third quarter, everything falling apart, his being really upset and losing hope. I knew. With my mother's heart I just KNEW. Right while I was working in the O.R. This was an EXERCISE for me to see how Ross and my deceased Loved Ones 'connect' to me through the ether. This is what they mean when they say, 'I never left you'. There is a way to dial in the radio (for me) to Anthony. For them they can dial them all in at once and KNOW what's up with you. I don't know how they do it, but they can. Anthony's team's loss was 'a slaughter' according to his father. It was 'the worst game he's seen all year'. He texted me this on the drive home.
- Somehow, my being able to take care of my own needs factors into this lesson. I could SEE--in my talking to Ross and through claircognizance--how much I neglect myself. What solidified it was this survey. It made me see how my own situation really is, and how it affects my health. The last fun thing I did for no reason, was to watch the movie La Vache on the flight home. That more than ten days ago. I was craving Ross and Anthony because MY OWN CUP WAS LOW. And THIS helped me to understand the importance of what the Guides keep saying--Fill Your Own Cup, Love Yourself, Meditate (My times to meditate are either first waking up or right before bed. It's HARD to do that when you're sleepy. I get six and a half hours of sleep a night, and it's just not enough. I used to get by on five hours in medical school. I can't do it!--that's why Ross' visit helped so much when I was alert and able to concentrate).
- Tonight I took a bubble bath. It hydrated me. And it was pleasant and helped me to feel like I'm home.
There really isn't much else to share. I'm about done.
Ross wants you to know he chose the picture of the angel above, and asked me to make it LARGE. He was very specific about it, and the direction it faces. And the SIZE I made it here! He also chose the title for this post.
Ross
Carla had a long day.
I thank her for taking the time to write, and for being open and sharing her lessons with the world.
(he just gave me a kiss for that. When I do well, in my assignments, I know it because he gives me a kiss. I feel it, light pressure on my lips. It's nice. --ed)
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple
