Expect to take up more room as you approach the menopause, the book read. I had some symptoms, and at the crystal store there had been a book about going through it holistically.
I bought it, and I couldn't believe what was ahead! The unthinkable. Part of me wasn't going to work anymore. The most precious part. How could I stop at one child?!
The argument was that excess weight creates estrogen, which helps to alleviate the symptoms of loss of ovarian function.
There was a long grieving process that started in 2011. It hasn't finished now, although it's manageable. In 2012 I had surgery for a fibroid, and that was it. No more.
I didn't have a single hot flash or discomfort, fortunately. I did gain the weight. It's hard to carry it around. And I feel the drop in estrogen. There are a lot of things I used to want to do--cook, clean, organize--that somehow just like my mother I have lost interest around this age.
It wasn't until I took the survey (IBS and Happiness--thank you everyone for your participation! Dr. Farhadi is overwhelmed at the responses. So far there have been one hundred twenty. He needs two thousand to crunch the numbers. Look him up on FB as Happiness and IBS)...I realized just how deeply the loss of my youth has affected me.
I feel ugly. I have never felt like my sisters, who knew how to dress up just right, and how to get people to look at you. One of my sisters is described as 'stunning'.
I'm just me.
And I rarely wear any makeup because I don't like it and I don't have the time.
Well, yesterday I had the time. And I wore a dress because I was unpacking from France still, and in a hurry.
I felt beautiful.
I felt beautiful because I made the effort.
And people responded.
People I knew from the hospital who saw me in the hall, each, of the many said, 'I didn't recognize you!' (I wasn't in my usual scrubs).
I'm working on my waistline--to help lose what I can. It's not easy.
And I understand and accept the changes to my beauty because long ago when I was in my twenties I read this article and took it to heart:
Advice From Japanese Grandmothers on How to be Beautiful
- Protect your skin from the sun.
- Drink pure water, breathe good air, live in a clean house.
- As you grow older, don't envy the fresh blossoms of spring.
- To have clear, smooth skin, care for it diligently by cleaning it completely, protecting it with loofah vine-water, and keeping a relaxed mind.
- Good skin comes from a clean body, so make sure to eat foods that purify the body.
- Eat the peels, rinds, and skins of fruits and vegetables.
- Too much makeup pollutes the skin.
- If your bad skin is inherited, you can change its condition by eating properly.
- Sleep at least eight hours a night, and go to bed before eleven.
- Be in love.
- Be active. Get exercise. Enjoy your life.
- Don't sit around worrying.
- Control your desires. Don't always want what you can't have. This unsatisfied yearning habit makes a woman ugly.
- Accept your age and the changes in your beauty.
- A beautiful old woman is beautiful because her mind and spirit are wise and graceful.
- At the age of forty, the mind is visible on the face.
- Practice facial massage every day to prevent wrinkles, lines, and age spots, and to keep the skin fresh and supple.
- If you are tired or suffering from stress, you must exercise.
- Eat a wide variety of foods.
- Don't complain; don't be envious; don't be irritated. Your health will deteriorate and your skin will look terrible.
- If your shoulders are tense or stiff, you will have lines and wrinkles on your face.
- Practice massage.
- Enjoy lovemaking. You will have glowing, shiny skin and a relaxed face.
- Enjoy nature. Be tranquil and calm. Eat simple foods.
- You can tighten your skin by massaging it: face, head, and neck.
- If you breathe deeply, you'll become strong and healthy and more attractive.
- Everybody gets wrinkles, but try to prevent ugly wrinkles by controlling your mind and emotions. Wrinkles are a reflection of your thoughts and feelings.
- Clean skin, not makeup, is the secret of beautiful skin.
- If you just cleanse, nourish, and massage your skin, it will function well and look good.
- Taken from the book "Inner Peace Outer Beauty" by Michelle Dominique Leigh
For the calm mind part, I do meditation, practice mindfulness in everything I do, open my heart, and also, take advanced action when I am in a hostile environment. I love EVERYONE and EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY...and also do verbal self-defense (a great book that changed my life) and this:
Take Steps to Protect Your Emotional Health: https://www.powerofpositivity.com/11-ways-protect-emotional-manipulation/
I had a patient who was just turned ninety. She said, in a conspiratorial whisper, 'people think that just because you are old you are STUPID and I am NOT!' She gestured how people try to get you to sign your money away, but she was a good shopper. She still drives. And she was the caregiver for her sister who just passed.
There was a sadness to her sister who was demented. It showed as dementia with aggression and depression. My patient put up with it as best as she could, then she had a TIA. She went to the hospital.
When she returned, her sister had changed her attitude one hundred eighty degrees. She said, 'please don't ever leave me like that again.' And was NICE! Nice until the end. She broke her hip, she didn't want it fixed, and it took six weeks to die from pneumonia. (this is how people used to die before they started fixing broken hips with surgery--the lying in bed for recovery did it.)
Anyone can change! even a woman with dementia who is eighty something years old!
So can you.
Reiki helps. It helps with everything, for me. And it gives me purpose.
On the way home from work yesterday, I was asking myself, 'could you LOVE (a certain political figure I know who is also very high-ranking in Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart, including their occult rituals)?'
I said, 'Yes...'and then I thought. It took some effort. And I added, 'and I thank them for being such a terrific boogeyman in this story of Life while we are in this incarnation--they are really good at it!'
I said it just in passing, and didn't mention it or think about it again.
But it made Ross laugh, at my honesty. And I enjoy HIS laughter most of all.
Ross
Should I title it, Advice From A Galactic on How To Live Happily? (he's laughing at his own joke--ed)
I want to be serious. (he cracks up again--ed)
I mean it! I am most serious at the moment. (he stifles a laugh--ed)
Carla fessed up to me yesterday on the way to work. She was talking with me, and she said, and I quote, 'I know all of you guys work up there really hard. I know because of what mom says about what Nannu and Dad tell her--it's a lot of work and there's not much vacation. I know I am down here and I complain a lot about being incarnate, and I understand it's supposed to be a real treat to be down here, on Earth. And I am certain YOU have lots more work than Nannu or Dad with all your responsibilities...
I want you to know I love you, I support you, and I am proud of you--that you are able to do so much and do it well and you are my family. I just thought it should be mentioned between us.'
(Ross is totally cracking up, like knee-slapping huge laughter but not quite rolling on the floor yet--ed)
IS THIS THE SAME WOMAN WHO WAS HARASSING ME AND ASHTAR A FEW YEARS AGO WITH HER ANGER AND DISTRESS AND WANTING TO GO HOME STAT?!
THIS IS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT WOMAN!
THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NIGHT AND DAY! IT'S THAT OBVIOUS.
What was once fear-laden, and anxious, is now replaced by Trust.
And she's KIND. There's KINDNESS in her last statement to me. (he shows an image of how I used to kick their shins, literally, to make a point--ed--I'm a little embarrassed by it to be honest).
(Ross softens--ed)
You know what else Carla told me?
If I am in agreement, she wants to have a baby with me. When we are home. She says how in each of our three incarnations together, it never really worked out for us. And she always wanted to see me with a baby, MY baby from her, in my arms. (I didn't help much when I was incarnate the last time, I was not around much).
(he strikes the side of his head, as if he forgot--ed) And I never KNEW!
Carla was like, 'Ross, you're my Twin, how couldn't you know?'
And I am not joking. On my map of all the qualities and traits and lessons I have here for Carla, as I am her guide as well--not once had I considered her wanting a child was to have the chance to watch ME with my fathering skills, and to have that make her joy of motherhood complete.
(he is very quiet--ed)
I said yes.
When Carla is here with me, and the time is right, she won't have the limits that she has on her body due to time. (She also asked me, 'if we are just blobs of light we might as well just forget it'--the baby--because she wants to SEE me--as a human--holding a human child.)
So it is open, I am willing, and Carla is waiting to see 'what comes up' once she arrives here in the Higher Realms. And it's not soon! I don't want you to worry. Carla is one for advanced planning when it comes to these things, she always has.
(clap! clap!) Now it's time for Carla to get ready for work. There isn't much time for her to prepare for her day. She has been getting rest, and that's about the only thing with Anthony being away that is different. Her work takes up much of her time...and she has an ant infestation in her home, right on schedule, which she went to the store to buy bait traps to help make them leave her kitchen.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple
