I'm home now, where I feel best. I can't explain it. I adore France and everything about it. I adore Switzerland too. Somehow this part of the world is right for me, right now. I feel connected.
I learned so much on this trip. I learned the importance of family first of all, both with Anthony and my loved ones.
I also learned the importance of working with our bodies' natural requirements--sleep, food, exercise, rest, and laughter with those you care about. I may add we need a little adventure and a lot of beautiful surroundings too.
Going to Europe has always been an important dream of mine, ever since I was a small child. I had an opportunity to go with my grandmother to Sicily when I was eight, and I always regretted saying no because of my fear of travel shots and homesickness. I watched many people in the family go on trips to Europe at different times--other grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins, my father. I never set foot on the continent until I was thirty two. Even then, the only countries I've visited are England, France and Switzerland.
I adore speaking French! I also am surprised to learn I have a new interest in German. My Italian has been coming along well with the Duo Lingo. It's almost complete. I am to read in Italian now for twenty minutes a day. I look forward to this.
Metaphysically I have had a lot of hard self-discoveries. My other name for my incarnation with Ross--not the Amee one he calls me but the one everybody else does--I had to come to terms with that on this trip. All these people go searching for her old stomping grounds. Yet in the churches, all I could find (Ross gave me homework to find a place to light a candle for her and light it--and there wasn't ANYWHERE in the basilica of the Sacre Coeur) was a key chain and an icon. I found a bunch of cookies at the bakery that took up more space! LOL. Madeleines have always been my favorite in this incarnation too. I used to go to Caffee Roma in Berkeley, and as a treat have a red Italian soda and ONE cookie when I was in college.
I also see my future with Ross as one a little fuzzy, and our relationship is strained. I want to know where I am in this whole Ascension thing. Nowadays we have pizza trackers for the pizza we order to be delivered to our home. Our downloads show the little bar on how long it is taking to complete. I feel like I am in a guessing game where I will never understand how the game is played, or even, if I am making progress. It sounds now like at some point I go UP, kind of like in old artwork. And I go UP to where Ross is. I don't know what happens to everything else--does someone take my place here? What about Anthony?
What I do know is that there will be kisses and hugs from Ross. I thought perhaps I would arrive and meld into one amorphous blob of energy with a billion other souls, and for some reason, the thought of it is not appealing. I felt depressed that perhaps I would never have the opportunity after all this hard work to be close to Ross and to enjoy our relationship one the same level and same dimension--in a way comparable to one where we both were here.
I felt rejected. I also felt the full failure as Gaia for life on her surface is really not a 'bed of roses' in any way, there is so much suffering and pollution, and I feel like a huge mistake to drag everybody into it. I also feel the invasion of my sense of well-being as a planet by Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest at Heart, and I don't like it. I don't want to be tricked. I don't want anyone to be tricked. And as far as I am concerned they are energetically nothing more than a bunch of fleas and ticks and I am in desperate need of a flea bath and excellent veterinary care--metaphysically.
Being the incarnation of Gaia Sophia isn't any fun in any way at all, except perhaps a little for the Ross part. And the being able to speak when invited to at certain conferences of Spirit--and with my delightful and very highly qualified teams at council.
In Paris I re-lived some of the horror of being in the crowds with Ross as Amee, with everyone begging and pleading for a miracle, reaching out with their hands and physically grabbing us everywhere we would go. I don't like the crowds. I never did. Ross didn't seem to mind them. All I wanted was peace.
This was his message to me--again--with my lost/stolen wallet and the latest message from John Smallman--'It is your SUSPICION that makes these things happen. Everything is LOVE! And you will know who to trust and who not to trust when you are one hundred percent based in love.'
This created a rift between Ross and me. I interpreted it as: everything unpleasant that ever happens to you is Your Own Damn Fault because YOU are not Perfect in Love.
He even used my favorite bible verse: 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear...he who fears is not made perfect in love.
Here--while I was looking it up--is the Literal Translated Aramaic version--Aramaic Bible in Plain English
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear is by suspicion, but he who fears is not grown up in love.
Wow. Betcha Saul incarnate didn't even know THAT translation!
I was like, Ross?! How can you still love me? You are so perfect in every way, and I am a mess! I can't even love myself most of the time! This is when the problems started to push through and resolve. He explained as a good husband, it is his pleasure to love me when I cannot love myself, and to encourage me. Even when he is there and I am here, he is able to do that.
I also saw this video:
I want you to listen carefully as you watch it. You will hear Laura absolutely bawling. This is the first time I have ever seen the reaction most people experience when they are touched by the Divine and Pure Love from Heaven on film. You can hear in her sobs the agony of being trapped in a body riddled with disease, the loss of her former self, and the undying love for her shown through the efforts and kindness of her husband. This release from the bonds of incarnation, this overwhelming response to the nightmare of suffering being over--is classic. I know when I have my own experiences with the Divine, I bawl like this too. It is unmistakeable. So watch for it in your own spiritual lives and in your healing work.
I thank everyone for the patience shown to me while I was on vacation, and I look forward to working on all of my endeavors and projects as Reiki Doc with renewed energy and insight and stamina!
Carla has come a long way from where she was ten days ago, and so have you. Carla is coming to terms with her age and changes in her body, and also, developing a new appreciation for the gift of the incarnate life experience. Much as she hates it at times, Carla has an eye to observation of herself from the outside in everything she does, and also, further, how it teaches herself and others (interlaces fingers) like a web of mutual support and love.
Carla I want to answer your question with the video about the choice of music. The singer of this song has shown up on Super Bowl Halftime shows, and displayed many of the signs and symbols--along with other performers who are very highly known for their involvement with Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart. 'So how can a song like that be good?' you are asking in your heart...
Well, that song now belongs to the people. It is part of the culture. And not a single Illuminati sign or gesture was made in the filming of the video for Laura from Carl.
It was made perfect in love.
Do not fear the ones who tortured me and killed me when I was alive with you, my love. I know you are well aware of how they feel about us--me and you--and how they mock me in all they do.
My beloved, you will find that I am above all that now, and none of them can hurt me ever again. Nor my beloved followers and those close to us, especially John. Even the worst with all its cagey ways and tricks will not rise above suspicion as the vibrations of the collective consciousness and Gaia increase. Nothing will be hidden, I can assure you this, both of you, John and Carla. And there shall be no more tricks to anyone, ever in the future. The truth will come out for everyone to see, in good time, no matter who has studied and who has not.
Our Father and our Divine Mother are stronger than all this. And the situation is in the best and most capable hands--our star families Michael (the rest of him who is not incarnate), Raphael (who is also the 'real thing' up here with me), Raziel (who you know both on earth and in Heaven, both his forms), Merlin (yes he exists up here in the higher realms, and no, he is not incarnate!), and many more--especially Adama and SaLuSa and EhaSa.
Everything is going to be fine.
I want you to purchase yourself a new wallet online, and to make the best of it until all the new cards arrive. Be sure to get the RFID protection one for your most important cards. I might be up here, and watching you, but it's best to be careful--not suspicious as you were before-but cautious and prudent until you come Home.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Friends and Family