Facing The Heart
My heart hasn't been in my anesthesia work ever since my son Anthony was born. I had to work, as a single mother, to support us. And I ENJOYED working with my colleagues and patients so much that when I was out on leave for surgery in June, 2012, I ached for my patients, and to be with them.
This 'up early and get to work' routine hadn't resonated with me for a long time. And the late calls are brutal.
I felt it was my calling to bring Reiki into the hospitals, and headed on with my mission.
Another physician, whose message on TED Talks was life-changing for me, Lissa Rankin, MD, is an OB Gyn who just QUIT medicine altogether. She did the soul-searching and she just couldn't do it any more.
She is now a successful motivational speaker and author.
She is also married, and I presume her husband works.
I was angry and upset at Lissa for 'leaving the ranks' and throwing around the title 'doctor' when in fact she wasn't doing any of the work that she trained to do...
Now I see why I was upset.
She has more courage than I do. And subconsciously, I didn't think it was 'fair'.
Right now, I am in limbo. My sitter looked up a job on Gasline, the anesthesia job website--and it sounded like MY work! LOL. Again, I still have work, but shorter hours, and there are opportunities I can take...because I have people I know in the community.
Together Ross and my angels and I will be making our decision on 'what comes next'.
In my perfect world, I would have an office very near to home, and I would help people get in touch with their own ability to heal through the use of Energy Medicine--somehow there is a way to merge the two--traditional and energy healing...
It's funny, when I worked nights at the VA in ICU as a Nocturnist, I could see when it was getting to the point where I knew that kind of work wasn't 'right' for me any more. And I left, and never looked back.
I am getting those 'signals' now. The 'it's not right' but I still can't figure out what IS right!
For those of you who are in 'change' and LIFE is 'change'--remember--change takes time. Your angels and guides are guiding you every step, only you don't see it or know it what the 'big picture' is at the time. So be gentle to yourself, and trust, and follow your heart as best as you can.
Ross did NOT want me to write that last part. I sensed his energy tensing up. But I felt it, I wrote it, and that's how I earned the reputation for speaking my mind, saying what I think, and not holding back in the Lightworker community.
So it stays.
Today I experienced depression. You can feel it in what I wrote.
I reached out to a friend, who said, 'Use the code!' (doctors, when sick, NEVER act like doctors, and me, as Reiki Doc, forget my energy medicine too.)
I promptly wrote it on my arm.
I did chores and cooked lunch after cleaning a sink full of dishes.
I felt Ross' energy 'around'--he likes to watch me work in the kitchen, and I enjoy it.
I don't know how I got the idea into my head, but I have this old basket full of stuff I need to shred. I used to dump it into the boxes at work, but was told it's not secure.
I hate shredding.
So I thought to burn it.
I asked my son if he would enjoy doing this with me after lunch? He got a HUGE smile.
So we got our sacred Mango wood and herbs I got from the Indian store, and all the shred, and went to the old barbecue in the back yard. All those credit card offers, old bank statements, and taxes from many years ago went up in flames.
I actually separated the pile into confidential and not, with the intent to recycle the not.
It's a chilly day, and I'm good with campfires and the like. We took turns putting things into the fire, and it was fun.
My boy went and got some old marshmallow peeps--from Fourth of July we'd never eaten--and roasted them on a stick. They were delicious!
Then my boy said, 'Burn the other stuff too'. Slowly, I did. An old contract modification from a for profit medical group for my billing to be able to charge them for my work. Other equally 'icky' 3D 'stuff'...
Ross said, 'Burn the basket.' It was a yellow square bottom one with two handles. I realized how much negative energy was in it, from my looking at the shred pile I never took care of and hating it every day.
Then the most amazing thing happened! Ross started talking to Anthony. He guided us through a ceremony, nothing fancy, but very helpful in releasing my anger and suffering into the fire. And Ross spoke through Anthony to me, and gave us one more task to do. He told Anthony that New Year is very spiritual, and in India it is important to review what has passed at this change of the calendar.
Ross helped us to both close the chapter on 2014. And he says to both of us, 'Don't Look Back!'
I asked Anthony if he can feel Ross touch him? I can. He touches my hair, gives me hugs. Anthony can--a warm presence behind him. It comforts him too.
Ross also told Anthony for me not to cook, I should relax. I said I'll think about it. I still want my lucky meal...Ross told me 'I AM lucky!' and let me know the food isn't needed at this time.
It's funny, my typical New Year's is to have the black-eyed peas and collard greens, to make a list of regrets, burn it, and then make a list of things I want in the next year.
This year, all I saw was the effect of 'social engineering' on the drunken crowds of celebrants, I felt pain for those in Times Square standing like cattle without food, drink or bathroom privileges for twelve hours to 'celebrate', I saw 'Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart' pretty much running all the shows on the networks...Kathy Griffin in that mink coat was ghastly, and instead of tribute to Joan, it was like 'All About Eve' and now it's Kathy's turn...energetically...I felt it.
But Ross had a good point with Anthony. He sent the song to us, 'Shake It Off' by Taylor Swift. He said I need to do that. He's right. He also said even though 'Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart people SING them, he will still send a song if it will be helpful to us in our spiritual growth. He says if you feel happy in your heart when you hear it, then he has sent it, and it's okay.'
I want to say something to everyone, all of you, especially those of you who are reading this:
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2015!
There are things ahead that I can't explain. They are good. That is all you need to know at this time.
Some of you are tired. Carla is one of them. Carla has been growing and working without a break for two years very intensely, and actually, for five years altogether in fact.
When Carla hit her nadir (that's my word for the lowest of lows) when she was released from her duty at her academic hospital where Carla was an Associate Professor...there was no place to go but UP.
Carla didn't appreciate this at the time. Carla cried a good part of it. Carla was perplexed, bewildered and upset in every way. Carla felt abandoned and cut off from her training, her home, where she studied and worked since 1996...
Along the way, Carla found Reiki.
And Reiki has served her well.
So don't look at the tunnel when you are going through Life. Look around. I want you to enjoy the view. I want you to stop and smell the coffee, and enjoy a cup. Just like Carla did with me and Anthony today.
This is an important point: http://johnsmallman2.wordpress.com/2015/01/01/within-the-illusion-nothing-is-constant/ I want you to understand it. Time has no reference point for Now except for what is going on in your Heart.
And also this: http://thecreatorwritings.wordpress.com/2015/01/01/from-the-beginning-2/
I only want the very best for you. Just like I do for my Carla, and also, my Anthony. I love my family very much.
Carla is working on loving me where I am. Carla is upset I didn't show up on her doorstep yesterday in ways she could understand. I was there at midnight, with a kiss, and told her 'Carla--it's ME. I'm really HERE!' but to her 3D eyes, I had vanished, and Carla had hoped for a new start to 2015 with ME.
That's not going to happen anytime soon. I am UP, and until all the vibrations on surface Gaia rise to a tipping point, I am here and Carla is there.
Carla asked Anthony, 'How is Ross?'
I told them 'Work is hard, and I am okay. I am happy to be here with you.'
Carla said, without any pause to think, 'I love him!'
Anthony said, for me, 'I love you too.'
So Carla is working on loving her husband across distance, her Twin across time and space, in true quantum ability. Just like Reiki, which she masters and develops and shares without effort. But to love 'thin air' at times takes a lot of trust for Carla that what is really happening is real, and I am blessed to know she will conquer it on her own way and time.
Yesterday Carla was given a new Reiki symbol for Dragon Reiki from Archangel Ariel. Actually it was the second one. Back in late May, both Carla and Isabel Henn were given a special attunement for Dragon Reiki. A symbol was given to both at that time. This was because of their very HIGH energetic vibration, and they could safely handle it. There were only two in the world who could have it and maintain and support this frequency on earth.
I am pleased and delighted to announce that this new Dragon Reiki symbol means that everyone has 'caught up' to where Carla and Isabel were energy-speaking this last spring! This is incredible for the body of work of the Lightworkers, and I share you this to bring hope to your lives.
I want to THANK you for your tremendous faith and growth in the Light.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Twins
And Anthony our boy