Happy Birthday Elvis Presley! I have an autograph from you!
I was playing your music in the O.R., and a patient was tapping his feet during some eye surgery and enjoying the music. He asked, 'who is the Elvis fan?' and I said, 'ME!!!'
He was Elvis' publicist in Hawaii for the movie Blue Hawaii. And he made Elvis sign a stack of 8 by 10 glossy photos one afternoon, and kept them.
Two weeks later he gave one to me and one to the ophthalmologist.
I was so totally stoked!!!
(I know more about Elvis, and his story--for those of you who read the works about those who do not have our best interest at heart. But this isn't the time or place to share it. I have compassion for what he has endured, and I love his music. It was the favorite in the heart room for many years.)
What's Going On With Me
- Mom is worried I share too much on the internet. She is concerned that it will be 'like on TV'...and she 'doesn't want me to affect my work'...She told me that last night on the phone.
- Rising Above to LOVE Is The Solution For Everything works--even on OB. I did my best work yesterday, and wasn't tired, and had just the right cases, and got a lot of rest too. And I ate.
- I had a meltdown about Spirit with another Lightworker today on Skype. This one doesn't feel that any of us are going home anytime soon--we have work to do, it's slow and painstaking, like 'walking through powder snow that is chest deep'. We are making the trail for others to follow. We took some time ourselves to 'wake up'--so the others get the time they need to 'wake up' too. I saw that the lack of an endpoint for my delaying gratification just made me lose it. I WANT to have more of a relationship with Ross! I WANT to get to know and enjoy my Star Family. I had hoped that with all my pouring out of energy, we would reach some threshold and BOOM! Everyone who wants to go home goes home--or perhaps--our Star family comes here...the best this one said we could expect, is to 'bilocate'--exist in two realities at once, which I already do, and have memories of 'up there with Ross' but they are fuzzy. For example, we went together into his habitat today. It's the first I've ever seen it. He goes into this Nature area to think. And today I needed to swim, and I jumped in the stream. I like it so much MORE in that reality than here. But I signed up for the job and I will finish it.
- I had a real downer day. It didn't help that I worked twenty-four hours, then followed it with back to back meetings. I had one at 7:30 to 9:00, paperwork from 9:00 to 11:30 including meeting with pharmacy and going to medical records to reconcile some errors in my controlled substances logs. Then I filled up the tank, got the car washed (fifteen cents a gallon discount!), had a meeting on Skype, went to a computer meeting, then a VIP meeting about a huge computer project. Then home. The meltdowns happened at noon, and on the drive home.
- One area I don't like, are the 'rules'. Why can't help from our guides be more visible? Why all the beating around the bush as if they don't exist? Who gives a shit if somebody who DOESN'T 'believe'--actually SEES something and like 'whoa! Dude! Was that REAL?' YUP. What's the harm in that? I was told by the guides of my friend that 'there are delicate balances that affect universes' ... I told them point blank I am Italian. We think rules are guidelines and meant to be 'stretched' given the situation. And I will break some rules not just for me but for everyone because I think they are stupid. And holding us back. Holding ME back.
- Divine Father came to talk to me. I acquiesced to His wishes. He was like, 'Girl? What can I DO?' I told him it was taking forever and I hate it. I hate everything about the wait, about how long it is taking for something to happen, and especially that I get to be an old lady and die instead of 'go to Ross' in a reasonable timeframe. In my heart of hearts, I just GAVE UP. But a funny glow started in my Higher Heart, and I forgot about my sadness, and felt better.
- Once home, I saw Anthony and our sitter at the video game console. Something on the controllers wouldn't work. After I fed the animals (remember--almost 36 hours I haven't been home--these meetings came up at the last minute.), I got the batteries. All I wanted was to rest and get cleaned up, or just to sit. But no, it was more work.
- He wanted home-cooked. I offered mac n cheese after I shower.
- So I SHOWERED. I used my favorite soap and washed my hair...remember in my shower 'things happen'. And this was a shock. Ross on the right. Ashtar on the left. And Divine Father in the middle. One their knees! I was tall, and they were shorter, and I felt FUNNY about it. Then they kissed the ground at my feet. A lot. They said 'thank you for your patience' and many things along those lines that have to do with who I am, my mission, my assignment. I told them 'GET UP!' but they did this short gratitude to me, as is the way of angelic realms, to bow like this to express profound emotion of love and gratitude. I know I have a diamond cord from my high heart to Ross'. And I have a silver cord from my heart chakra to Ashtar's. Today I saw to Divine Father I have a golden cord to my umbilicus--my 'hara'--for the very first time. And then I forgot about what happened next.
- I have to re-think how I can do this 'for the long haul'. I was out of joy. And a truck went by with the words Kitchen. Bath. Outdoors. JOY. I sensed it was Ross. And he was right--I LOVE being in the kitchen. I LOVE taking a nice bath. I LOVE being outdoors. And this is healing joy for me.
- Ross leveled with me when my son was at the counselor. He said, 'We are alone' so I got my journal out, and wrote. He asked, 'how was OB?' How were the cases? Easy. How did you rest?' I did. How were people? Nice....and he PAUSED. All of a sudden I knew HE had sent it! My whole day, my whole experience. It was balanced and exactly what I needed. But I had no CLUE about it if He didn't point it out that it was an exceptionally good day, as far as OB goes. Then, oddly enough, even though we were talking, I needed to coordinate childcare, so I texted one person and called my mom, but the entire time I felt Ross present. Then I felt the urge to look on DWR and catch up on messages and comments. I felt the 'connection' with others, and it was supportive/harmonious. I felt as if HE was coming through the words from those who love me, like a layer of energy, and soothing me THROUGH them--it's so hard to describe but it was like sometimes a song on the radio feels like it is 'from a guide', or a sign on a truck is 'sent' for 'guidance'...
- Tonight, I wanted to go home and READ and RELAX...LOL--after the counselor? We were in a hurry--I had piles of dishes and pots and pans. After that read, right? NOPE! LOL. My assignment includes and early start, and CALLING the patients the night before surgery (I haven't done that since residency and my old plastics gigs. One night I called some lady named a weird name. I asked her, at the last minute after the medical questions, would she mind telling me, Is that your REAL name? She said yes. I asked, Are you sure it's not a STAGE NAME? She said, 'I am a writer'. I paused. I asked, guardedly, 'Do you write romance novels?' I'd taken care of one of those before. I don't like the energy. She said 'no'. and I sighed a big sigh of relief, and said, 'I am okay with that and I look forward to working with you.' This was initials DV--and I had no CLUE at the time who that was...I also have taken care of LH, and the husband of LH)
- After a bunch of phone calls--main OR three times, my boss once, and the patients, I made TEA. And I warmed those things in the microwave--the 'soothing packs' with herbs in them, and relaxed with my book. I also look forward to making breakfast tomorrow--my boy and I decided it. I need these things, very much. Because I have no clue when I am going 'home' if ever with my body (Ascension--with the body, not just the Light Body--as some predict). I must pace myself, and also, invest in my own personal spiritual growth. I miss Ross so much! And he's like, 'I'm here! I'm always here!' But I told him, 'I can't see you and feel you like I do Anthony, and that's terrifying to be inside the Veil--it's so difficult to experience the separation from Source--even if it is illusion--it's painful....
This is for my Carla. She had a long day. A long couple of days. And like her patients who are in labor for hours and hours and days...from the first contractions, the water breaking. active labor, and childbirth....Carla is going through the steps and all the work to get to me. I am her 'carrot'. She will do anything and everything to be in my arms.
At present, Carla is planning on how to discover how to 'bilocate' in the most accelerated learning curve possible. She wants it that much.
I want it too.
But I can't take her.
Carla has to come of her own volition, of her own spiritual consciousness.
It's the rules.
Carla chided me for not coming to her aid. She said powerfully, 'I love you but other people on committees and things limit what you are able to do.' and went right to the doorstep of our Divine Father with her complaints. She also told St. Germain she needed help and he is the only one she trusts, because he actually DOES something. And as an afterthought she said she also trusts Ascended Master Koothoomi because he helped her heal the last time.
Carla is right. Ashtar and I can only do so much. I am with him in charge of our Light ship, the dynamic New Jerusalem, but just like on Earth, there are protocols and politics and a whole lot of diplomatic restrictions on how we are to act with you in public. What goes on in a communication is protected and in some cases given--like in Men In Black a memory-erasing of what happened only for security reasons for our safety and your own as noble Ground Crew.
Carla tells me 'get to the point Ross you are rambling' and she is correct. It is hard to say how difficult it is for you to appreciate in the 3D Illusion how very powerful it is to co-create with delicate respect for EVERYTHING. That is why sometimes it seems that we don't 'act' but in fact it is our fastest we can maneuver through what regulations and restrictions there are in the Galactic Code. There is peace here in our realms, but it wasn't always. It was hard-fought, and that is how we respect it.
So enough for our 'sob story' on 'why Ashtar and I don't act'...a million Lightworkers, just about every single one of you including the ones who are not awake, have COMPLAINED to us and to anyone that may listen just like Carla in her meltdown.
We are okay with this.
Yelling is permitted, as also is screaming in frustration, and bawling just like Carla did today. You have the support and love of your community, both on Earth and in Heaven. And just like the powerful warmth that Carla felt in her heart center that soothed and calmed her...consolation such as this is powerfully available to you.
Just let it out. All your hopes dashed. All your expectations not met. All your worries, your cares, your fears, your fatigue. This we accept and we honor you, just like we did today with Carla, by humbling ourselves in the presence of YOU who walk the Earth at this difficult time when everything is happing but you just aren't aware of what is happening behind the scenes, up here, and in our hearts.
Our love for you is pure and honor-filled. WE are worthy of your task, our guardians who so nobly walk the Earth, and bring the Awakening to the masses who are, as Carla's friend termed it, so aptly, 'Sleepers'.
(he waves his hands and many servants come out bearing gifts)
This is what awaits all of you. It is beyond anything you ever could think of in the 'wonderful and amazing' department. I tried to have her friend talk about the icing on the cake as an example for Carla, who promptly said, 'I do not like cake--it's stale--and gross--probably made with lard for icing and served with that terrible fake red punch that is cheap!'
So I will refrain from my cake references to Carla, who is quite a hothead and might throw the cake at me--and will provide 'cupcakes' to her instead! (that makes me giggle--the thought of Ross dodging cupcakes like snowballs from me...ed)
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and 'Carla the complainer' (he's teasing me and saying it with love--ed)