Most instances when I meet up with a patient in pre-op holding, my aura scans their aura so I know how to adjust my own Vibration to better match theirs when I interact with them. This woman had a frequency I did not know.
There was a hollow in her eyes, a flatness, a definite lack of the power of eye contact even though her eyes were looking at mine. Her appearance was unkempt. And although she had experienced regional anesthesia in the past with childbirth, she had no interest in regional block for a potentially painful recovery from this case. 'I have my own pain medicines at home.' she said. Okay! I thought, a little surprised by this.
I have had babies four times but I only have two.' she shared, with me, something I totally couldn't get in my consciousness. It felt like a cryptic cry for help, and I was so overwhelmed by the preparation fro surgery that I ignored it.
You see, when you meet an anesthesiologist, you have no clue as to how their day has been. I was in one room from seven in the morning until three in the afternoon. I was supposed to go to the Robot Room at three. But at the last minute, there was a scheduling switch, and I was assigned to do the Orthopedic case in your room.
I had been wiping every inch of my equipment with the sanitizer cloth, because some of my colleagues are messy and I don't know where their patient's spit has been. We work in the mouth, putting in breathing equipment. I know one of my colleagues doesn't wear gloves! Ever! I had been readying your medications, your breathing tube. My tech was due to go home, but I detained him, just to do the block for you. I found him after you said no so let him know it was okay for him to go home.
It wasn't until you were in the operating room, that your aura had a faint reminder to me or someone else I knew. Someone whose abuse had been so horrible, that in fact this nurse I knew and worked with on the floor, had split her personality. She had worked very hard to combine them. She also had experienced the abuse in a family that was like the family-next-door, seemingly normal in appearance, and worshiping Lucifer in secret in their home. In homes like this, child rape, infanticide, cannibalism, child sacrifice, human sacrifice, and drinking of blood are part of the ritual. As well as the fear and the mandate never to tell.
Mother told me as I was growing up that a lot of the children who disappeared were lost in these dark rituals. That the faces on the milk carton were those who had been lost to such awful crimes against the Light.
When my RN friend chose to share with me, I almost wanted not to believe her. It was so awful, so shocking, and so frightening to accept in fact as truth. But the look in her eyes and the feeling in my heart made me believe her. Fortunately she did not want to talk about the details much, just that she had escaped. It took a lot of effort, and that she is wanting to get a ministry degree to enable her to help others like herself. She had been pregnant and not been able to keep her babies, too.
I understood at once while I was in the OR with this patient I had met and did not understand, that her soul had been put to its limits. She was delicate, and in need of very deep healing and love. I knew just the right connections, just the right angels to ask for Divine Guidance, and we set to work upon her rediscovery of her God Spark of Love and Light that was within. It won't be magic, or instant, but she will have changed course after her encounter with Reiki and Diksha in the O.R. unaware.
Abuse is a cycle of fear.
It starts with the abuser: I am scared. I do not understant. (Possibly may have been a victim)
Then it goes to the abused, who thinks: What is this? It is not supposed to happen? But they are telling me it is my fault?! As the abuse weakens their aura, and the Life Force is literally sucked out of them. They become hollow shells of humans, attracting dark entities and negative entities into their energetic system, and feel progressively worse each day.
The susbstance abuser retaliates by: I want to feel better. To Hell with everything else, I want to medicate myself. Little do they know that the chemicals and behaviors only weaken the aura and the vibration, setting them up for worse fate.
This poor patient got even MORE abuse from the surgeon while she was under general anesthesia! I had talked with him earlier in the day, and said how I looked forward to working with him, for he was always nice. He said, 'I can be not nice, too. Would you like to see me like that?' and I thought, 'What? That is really strange!'.
But I saw it. He accused the sleeping patient of seeking drugs, of being non-compliant with the no aspirin before surgery, and getting upset over the bleeding in the joint he was doing arthroscopy on. I lowered the blood pressure, we raised the bags, and he almost cancelled the case.
And then it was discovered that the outflow valve on the scope was turned the wrong way. It was somebody else's fault. 'There goes ninety minutes of my life, wasted!' The surgeon bemoaned.
Later, on waking her up, I whispered to the scrub tech, 'It is better that the mistake only took time, and that there was no harm to the patient that was permanent'. He agreed.
The abused attract abuse. Even when they are unconscious. It is in their aura. It is in their vibration.
The abused have been conditioned to manifest more abuse. It is on their mind. They know the role. No matter how hard they try to fix it, or run from it, a new relationship will come that reinforces the belief. The situation will come up until the victim faces the abuse head-on.
How can you seek help?
First, there is therapy.
Individual and group. Both will treat 'sick thoughts' and help to heal the aura by support.
Next, there is energetic healing. Reiki will get sucked up by these starving souls.
There is Nature and the Unconditional Love of pets. They are not programmed for abuse--they are healing to be in contact with. Except in the rarest of circumstances, where an abuser and sociopath takes it out on the pet, they are whole. Even the abused pets, given Rescue Therapy, can heal.
Sometimes I wish there was a Rescue Humans organization like there are for pets.
You know, the Holocaust survivors had special homes to go to to heal. At first they were overwhelmed by the color, the many beautiful colors outside the Concentration Camps. They found Gardening to be exceptionally theraputic.
There has been a healing garden at the local VA Hospital for over twenty years. When I was on call, and it was not busy, I would walk to it, and experience the love of Nature for myself. There was a fountain and stream, and a great big gazebo near it. I would just sit. I would pick the fruit, even though it was not permitted, because my italian grandfather trained to run the orchards and I grew up with many fruit trees in the garden.
I stole my healing, because residency weakened my aura, so did my bad marriage, and I was struggling to survive. It was a remarriage, meant to 'do over' from the last one. And abuse instead turned up.
I walk the walk and talk the talk. I am a survivor for multiple kinds of abuse, although fortunately not the Dark Hat one like my friend the RN, and possibly my patient.
In essence, here is the cycle of abuse:
Abuser--I am scared
The Abused--I am in pain
The Abusing Substances--I want to feel better
All are victims in their own right. And Reiki is but one way to address the profound wounds that develop on anyone who is involved in this dance's soul.
Be patient. And know that whenever someone hurts another, they are in truth hurting themselves. When they transition, they will self-evaluate. And choose the harshest punishment for themself to pay back the Karma. It is Universal Law. Many times family members are picked for soul issues that span multiple lifetimes to be worked out. If you are abused, change your mindset to I WANT TO HEAL. The Universe will bring it. It won't be instant, but years from now you will look back and have a better life, so much more so you can't believe how you had once lived!
You are not alone.
I send Reiki healings to you every day.
This too shall pass.