I laugh when I stop and think about the person I was, thirty, twenty, and even ten years ago. Reiki has made such a fabulous contribution to the quality of my life since I started to study it about five years ago. Note that I have been Psychic all my life, but only began to live it fully with my taking Psychic Development Class and Reiki I.
I was seventeen and I wore the gold cap and gown that designated me as a perfect 4.0 GPA. There were eight of us. My boyfriend and I were both 4.0's. I did not compete for the opportunity to be Class Valedictorian because I was too afraid to enter the competition. I held my boyfriend's hand the entire ceremony. I thought of my future as being Mrs. R, and devoting myself to my family.
The only problem was, I was wanting to become a doctor. It was my dream. His was to be a weatherman. Not like the kind on T.V. A Storm Chaser. Since my parents were killing my dream, I did my best to ignore his and push for a future together. Less than six months after graduation, we split.
At twenty-eight, I was rebuilding my life. I had just moved to San Diego to begin Medical School. My marriage to my college sweetheart was breaking apart. I wore a red dress and curled my hair, wanting to be noticed for my beauty and for once not my brains. If you ever saw a 'nerd girl' like in Napoleon Dynamite or a Glee song, that was me. I wanted to change my image. I had to show everyone up!
My anxiety kicked in for weeks before the reunion. My counselor said to pick two people I might want to see. I did. By September I had separated from my husband.
I was at the end of my Cardiothoracic Fellowship in San Diego. I danced ballet at least three times a week. My dress was size two. I bought it at Sak's. It was navy blue with embroidered beading in a floral pattern, a spaghetti strap sheath dress. I had my hairdresser do my hair and makeup before. I was the hottest one there. My ex-high school sweetheart couldn't wait to see me. His wife noticeably was not there. She was a storm chaser PhD too, and was my doppleganger. But she was old money from Brazil and Spain. I was poor from Southern California.
My marriage to husband number two was in shambles. We fought in the car on the way to the reunion. I was looking for options. None came. We sat in support of a dear friend who was coming out at the reunion. Actually, everybody suspected she was gay, but it was a formality for her to be open about it for the first time with the rest of us.
I spent the morning clothes shopping in my closet. I found an adorable combination of a white beaded tank, with my favorite floral skirt, and my Cinderella lacy gold shoes that matched perfectly.
Then we packet up and went to the beach! Fun in the sand and on the shore, boogie boarding at a new beach with a totally different shore break. After we stopped off at my favorite pizza-by-the-slice store, and headed home. We had thirty minutes to clean up.
I brought my son. I wanted him to see what a Reunion is like so he might appreciate high school more. He enjoyed it.
I was nervous. I brought two things in my purse for good luck: my mermaid Tokidoki fragrance bottle, and my blue troll doll. (On all of my medical school and surgery residency interviews, I always carried a troll doll with surgery scrubs on him in my purse for good luck. Nobody knew he was there but me!)
This time was different. Gone was the I'll show them! mentality. I felt the love at last from my peers. The impact of being able to bring Love and Light to so many was not lost upon me. I smiled at people I barely remembered. Genuine smiles. I talked to scary looking people, all punked out still after all these years. I hugged friends from elementary school and Junior High from cross town who moved like me to our high school. I talked with everybody, and I introduced them to my son. He even was asked to draw the lottery tickets out of the hat for the raffle.
I spoke with my first love for an hour. My boy lay on the bench with his head on a pillow, holding my left hand. Gone was the abandonment and heartache from our breakup. (I saw, metaphysically, why my future was not meant to be as Mrs. R. I had to do the doctor thing. I had to do this blog.) We spoke of parenting. Religion. Joint citizenship (his kids have triple citizenship--US, Spain, and Brazil). Then we got to the important stuff. Remember how you were always telling me to go with the flow, Tom? I finally learned it. I was a slow learner. It took me thirty years. But I did. It felt good to get that one off my chest!
I also let him know about me. My psychic gifts, and how I apply them. We actually have similar viewpoints, but he is more like an advanced 3D, not exactly prepping himself for ascension track like me.
I thanked God for that conversation the entire time we were speaking.
And I thank Source most for this question from Tom: 'How do you sort out the psychic information from the delusional?'
It hurt. But that was ego. And I knew that information like this is vibrational, and hard to explain. But in a flash, I said, 'You learn it from people who do it for a living. You go to Psychic Development class and you work with them, and you learn. It's like how you learn to do anesthesia. You go in the O.R. with people who know how to do it, and they show you how it works and how to do the job.'
It was my truth. It clicked with him.
He also will be thinking about Financial Tyranny by David Wilcock. And my blog that reached five thousand hits today. I told him, I did not share with you because I want to convince you. I did it because I want to be who I am when I am here with you. I am tired of hiding this all the time with everyone. Stax knows the truth about me. I want you to know too.
Thank you Sensei-Usui for making this depth of peace and healing possible, and for giving me the ability to love unconditionally, to speak my truth, and be gracious Light.