And I used to be obedient.
For example, just now, some missionaries came to the door. In the past, I used to be a good Christian with them. I did not realize that the only reason they were there was to convert me to their faith. I wanted to let them see what a good Catholic is like. And I thought that they were making sure everyone in the neighborhood was okay.
Not any more. I lied and said I was not me. And I honestly said, through an open window far away from the door, that I was not interested in talking to them. I did not say why.
I have had it up to here with people telling me what to think. And that I should give them money.
That is why I no longer go to mass.
I love God, and the Holy Ghost, Jesus, Mary and Joseph more than you could know. They are my family. I talk to them. I visit them. I can, in my mind, with my psychic gifts. I hung around the Church for so long, because where else could you go if you see angels at the ceiling during Mass?
And I gave a lot of money to the Church, too. A lot. Even when I was a starving medical student, I gave.
One day, when I was on the internet, I saw a shocking post. It was from a Missionary of Charity Nun who had left. She claimed that the nuns were overworked, in poor health, and that they had to write thank you's for the money, but it never went to the poor. I had sent checks directly to one of the Brothers! Right to Kolkata!
In my heart I would like to think that Mother Teresa was squirreling away the resources into the St. Germain Fund. This is one of the prosperity funds to be disbursed by the secret societies in the very near future. But it is possible that the money went to some darker source deep inside the Vatican. I do not know.
Until I do, I am giving my charity to other causes. I still love the Church, but I love my Sunday mornings and my freedom even more.
Something used to happen in the short meditation after communion. I always would kneel and talk to Jesus at that time. Several years ago, and I am not sure when, I would join Him at the helm of a vehicle. It was all white, and he wore a white seamless flight suit with a little gold emblem on it. And we would talk like always. Jesus looks like a Hollywood Movie Star, and is full of Charisma. He has a short beard, brownish blonde hair, and beautiful eyes that set you at ease. He is one smart dude, way smarter than anyone ever gives him credit. This has been going on for years. He's always there. His chair does not touch the ground. It's like a Stanley Miller, very modern, and it sort of floats in air. I tried it.
Around the time Kim Jong died, Jesus let me know he was on the Earth. He has walked here. He has important work to do, I can tell.
Anyhow, the reason I have shared is that the cross is an ancient symbol which represents overcoming resistance. I have seen a great deal of crosses lately, yesterday even on the fingernail of the woman who scooped up our ice cream. They are everywhere. I have found that the people that wear them think that I am from the Devil because I speak to Jesus and I also speak to the Deceased. It made me feel depressed and isolated because of their unacceptance of me for who I am.
I used to hide my Om necklace. I bought it at Macy's. The clerk had no clue what it was I wanted: the diamond-studded white gold Om symbol. We had to look in every counter to find it! (It was on sale and pictured in the sale flyer). She upsold me to an adjustable twenty-inch white gold chain, that cost double the pendant. Something told me it was right. I used to wear it on the longer setting. Now I let it show. Even at work, with my colleagues and my patients.
Ask me about my Om necklace! I think is my statement. People who like Om are okay. Everyone notices. And no one says a thing. But I have met two recently, one a Respiratory Tech, the other a school Teacher. And we point to our Om necklaces and smile!
Om is what powers the Universe! How could I be ashamed of that?