Enjoyment
As my health and energy returns, I can see the cause of my distress--it's so clear--the workload, the sleep deprivation, the lack of time to enjoy the fruits of my labor.
On Friday I kept Anthony home from his summer program. We got donuts. I know it's awful, but we haven't been to Krispy Kreme in about one year. I limited us to two donuts each--he usually eats more. It was so happy to go, and see the machine where they make them.
I went because when I was little, and I was home sick from school, mom always went to Winchell's and bought donuts for us. It made me feel loved.
We drove by the new shops in the area, and I asked, 'Would you like to go to the toy store?'
I haven't taken him there in ages and ages. Usually it's Target. Usually he badgers me to buy it, and I feel threatened.
This time I enjoyed letting him be a kid. I went to the toy store often, always buying a little something, and maybe in two visits if there was something I really wanted that was expensive I would save up and bring my money too.
He wanted checkers, Clue, some Magic little bubblegum card packets, a holder for his cards, and bazooka bubble gum.
Today when he came home after his dad's--we opened the box, and can you believe some bubble gum is now blue?! I know! It tastes different, too.
I blew bubblegum bubbles, and he was amazed. I tried teaching him the way Jackie so long ago taught me when I was nine. It was too hard for him.
It's forty cents a piece of gum that used to cost us three cents back in the seventies...those were the days.
I realize his childhood is going by so fast. So I am taking the time to enjoy it. Playing catch. Changing the sheets, washing his clothes.
I put all of his clothes away and straightened his room. When do I have time for this, you know? He's only ten.
I'm glad I'm tuned in to him too. I asked him, while we were playing catch, if he knew I saw him crying at his basketball game? I knew not to run there, or he would seem a mommy's boy. But I cared, and it looked to me his coach helped him work things out.
He said it was his dad being mean (a lot of 'guidance' from the bleachers--most dads do this unconsciously)--and his coach helped.
As we played catch, I asked gently, if the therapist helped him feel better when he shared about the scary experience in the men's room on the field trip? He said yes.
Then I told him what I had done...I had played dumb to get out of having to do a survey with the power company. I said my husband paid all the bills and I was convinced our power carrier was a different one than them. They want to call back. I asked Anthony if he would mind pretending and having a little fun if they call back?
It cracked him up. He actually put on an accent, and made up a story, as we played catch.
You know, one of my favorite things in the world is my porch swing. It took a week off work for me to make it.
It was time well-spent.
Enjoying my Twin
Ross has been very close. I just gaze at him, in wonder, and stay as close as I can to his chest.
I look up at him, and ask, 'Is The Nightmare...over?'
He says with confidence and love, 'Yes'.
And I relax.
I share with him how I feel with him just like I did in our last incarnation, when we were falling in love...how can that be? I am so happy!
He says all this that has passed will seem like nothing, and we may concentrate on our affection and enjoyment of one another for a long time.
I keep asking him, over and over, at intervals though out the day, 'Is...is the Nightmare Over?'
Calmly, sincerely, each time, Ross says, 'Yes'.
He had written me in a private message, 'I like my Higher Self--it's ME!' and I saw no matter where Ross is, he's just plain Ross, everywhere he goes.
Gradually, I adjust to this concept too, as the Veil subsides.
It's funny how I've gone from barely giving him the time of day, and complaining over everything, to appreciating him for all he does and has ever done for me. And for others. Ross helps so many, every single day, and always makes time for us.
Ross
I am blushing.
Carla is the love of my life. There shall be one for me, in all of Heaven.
Carla is my queen. I am her king.
And we are very content at this time.
I continue to support her as she adjusts to the energies of the coming Lion's Gate, and what it will bring.
(wags finger side to side, and smiles--ed) And it ISN'T Lions!
Carla is allergic to all felines.
But not for much longer. (chuckles--ed)
I wish you all a good evening.
Aloha and mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Twins
