Takin
This animal here is the National Animal of the country of Bhutan.
Bhutan is between India and China, on the East end of the Himalayas. It contains the highest mountain that has never been climbed, Gangkhar Puensum.
Why am I researching Bhutan? For two reasons:
- they have a Gross National Happiness index the government uses to 'benchmark' progress
- in 2013 Bhutan pledged to be 'totally organic' by 2020--the first nation in the world to do so.
My sources are just online, easy stuff--Wiki, other links--and I'll give you the highlights:
- India and Bhutan are very close countries, and people can travel freely and work between the two. One was the first to recognize the other as a nation, I'm not sure which one is first. I do recall that Bhutan was the first to recognize Bangladesh.
- Bhutan is hard to visit. There is a fee of $250 a day a tourist has to pay to the mandatory tour guide. This covers food and shelter in most cases too.
- The people are eighth happiest in the world, and the only ones who are not a major industrialized country...they are impoverished, actually.
- There is no national rail system in Bhutan, but India is planning an extension.
- TV was illegal until 1999 when a ban was lifted on television and the internet.
- Smoking has been illegal in the country since 2010. The fine is about $250.
- In the 1990's, one fifth of the population of Bhutan, the Lhotshampas--were expelled or forced into refugee camps because the country wanted uniformity in its population and these people were ethnically different.
So is it Shangri-La or isn't it? People live to be about sixty-three. There is a mix of modernization and old ways. I think you should look it up, and check out the energy signature for yourself. I'm glad I didn't 'jump for the bait' on the totally organic and GNH platforms.
Happiness is important for Gaia, and YOUR happiness and attitude affect Her energy a lot. I think perhaps the Galactics have measurements as such on us. I will provide you with some links and some yaks and horses...just to entertain you...along with some beautiful, traditionally-dressed children.
Resources:
- GNH Wiki (not the best)
- GNH official website
- Official Bhutan Studies Website
- The Organic Nation Pledge
- Bhutan Wiki
Before The Beach
In case you haven't been reading lately, I have been having growing pains as a soul.
My teacher Anne Reith, PhD says we have 'two parts to us--a Higher Self, and then us, which is a little portion of who we are'. She also says she is married with children to Erik on Sirius, at the same time as she is here, in a relationship with a same-sex partner, here, with only fur babies.
This is how it is.
I fight it.
Someone posts a channeled message from someone just close enough to 'home'--me, my Higher Self, my incarnation, my 'whatever'--and I freak--just total effing buck the system.
I don't WANT to have a Higher Self.
I just want to BE.
I want to focus on my life at hand. I don't want any distractions. Much as she may claim to Love Me, my Higher Self annoys me to no end. I feel like this is a silly game, I am a pawn, and there is NO getting off this treadmill called 'The Life Experience' for a long time. I go from one incarnation to the next with no breaks, I have memory of most of them. And between us, out of the thousands and thousands--with the percentage I can remember--only ONE was happy and that was in Japan in the 1800's.
I asked last night as I fell asleep for clarity. St. Germain says, 'you have no control' and 'if you have questions call on me or Merlin--he is an incarnation of me'.
NOT ONLY DOES HE SAY ALL THE WRONG THINGS, BUT ST. GERMAIN HAS THE GALL TO SAY--IT IS WHAT IT IS AND I LIKE IT!
In meditation, Ross showed up with my HS. And they wanted to 'patch things up' with me.
I listened to my heart, and I didn't want to talk to her.
They were stunned! Ross asked me 'why?'.
I said, 'If I have no control and it isn't going to change, what is the use for us to talk about it?'
I don't LIKE having pieces of my consciousness all over the Universe!
I know what I know, and I just don't see the point in any of it. They even went to the trouble to send me wolves as animal signs. I was at the doorway, two men came in tee shirts, the one on the right with two wolves, the one on the left with one, and they weren't together! They went separate ways! Today another was sent in an art photo drawn with palo santo. Wolves are TEACHERS. They mate for life. So I was being told that my HS--past incarnation--whatever (and I say this with all the resentment and frustration only a Southern California native can muster)--is 'doing her thing' and 'teaching'.
You think I'm just being mean and nasty? And making this up?
Well then WHY would creator write THIS?!?--https://thecreatorwritings.wordpress.com/2015/07/10/waiting-for-you/
What did I LOSE, Daddy?
I lost this:
The belief that I was in some way unique in all of Creation--something beautiful and never to exist anywhere else in any way, shape or form. Instead I am some piece of something larger than me, my Higher Self. Compared to Her I am a 'speck'. There is nothing to make me think that anything I think, say, or do matters. Any of my incarnations or aspects can do it--as shown by the last channeled message by Fran Zepeda. So why am I here? What's the point? Am I a plaything or in some game to amuse someone somewhere? Is that what I am to You? I am a nameless, faceless, energy signature in the void--subject to the Veil where all my natural abilities are BLOCKED--and it's like playing Marco Polo in the pool blindfolded and I am never, ever going to find my way OUT!
I have so many better things to do than to play these games. So much more worthwhile ways to spend my Love and my Heart and my Consciousness--than to keep spinning my wheels here in 3D.
I lost my Birthright as a Galactic Citizen. I lost my sovereignty as a soul. I lost my freedom.
It might be nothing to You, as I am in Illusion, but to me, it is everything, and it bothers me very much.
The Beach
A day at the beach sounds inviting, doesn't it?
When was the last time you have gone?
Were you able to find a parking spot? Ours was up on the hill with a parking meter. We carried two wet suits, an umbrella, an umbrella stand (heavy), a cooler, water, books, towels, two folding chairs, and two boogie boards to the FARTHEST end of the beach to meet with my son's class.
It was strenuous. And getting my boy into his wetsuit takes a lot of strength. I work HARD to get his arms and legs all the way into it--it doesn't slide and fits very tight.
I enjoyed the water, and I surrendered. I just Let Go.
When it was time to hike up and put money in the meter, I saw the two older men stop up the hill three times to catch their breath. I brought up the books and the boogie boards. The surf wasn't good for them--waves were big and we could get hurt.
I came back. Anthony played in the sand. We played with his castle. And the best part of the day was playing with kelp. We were popping the pods, and found if we popped them just right the cap would go flying several feet away, and we laughed so hard!
It was good to be in the sand, to get in the water (I got tossed by the waves several times and I was knee deep--the waves were taller than my head!)...
Even though I was upset Anthony wanted to wait on the bench with the stuff while I got the car, tonight I feel like I had a good workout.
I have a limp. My right big toe first joint doesn't move right. It has arthritis. It hurts with every step. I still walk on it, because I know with arthritis it's 'use it or lose it'.
The lesson is, 'you have to work to have the fun'...I knew it. I knew that by being pushed to my limits, physically, Spirit was saying, 'You Can Do It' with everything.
The best part was when Anthony said, 'I'm glad you came'...I wasn't sure if I'd embarrass him or not.
I also used my intuition. The class wanted to go to a pool at the far end of the beach, and I didn't allow Anthony to go, because the ocean was rough. I knew there are some blowholes that suck people in and they die not far from where we were. So I told him he wasn't allowed to go. Well the class went and guess what? It was closed! They had to turn back.
Tonight
Anthony's grandparents took me out to celebrate my birthday. This was a big deal, that Pat would go. Patrice and I are very close, and she has told me I am her daughter. She is my mom and friend, even though the father and I are not together.
I am invited to the funeral, as her mother Rachel is no longer able to swallow because of her Alzheimers. She cannot take liquid--it all spills out--so she is on Hospice.
This is a miracle that is beyond my understanding...there was a time when there was so much energy of separation in my life with them, it makes me cry right now just to think about it...how terrible it was.
I'm so glad it's over. It's been ten years, and it's resolved to what I call a Miracle of Love. I am so grateful for the loving support of me, as Anthony's mother--and for Anthony to have PEACE where there is no more war between his parents and families any more. That boy deserves it so much--to experience the love of family, no matter where he is, and to have all who care about him---love each other too.
The Drums
Anthony couldn't find his paper for his drum lesson. The practice stuff. We had a heart to heart. I asked him, 'do you even want to play?'
We were late, and I had a talk with the teacher. He was concerned I was wasting my money because Anthony is always losing his papers and never practicing.
I told Anthony he could quit on one condition: he never says to me 'you should have made me keep playing' down the road, because this is HIS decision.
I also said, 'I am not switching instruments, because I want to see the practice habits first here. And I am DONE with music lessons after this. No more. You can play with your school but not with all this scheduling and expense and private lessons if you decide to play later on down the road.'
He wanted to play.
We also explored WHY he doesn't practice and loses things. I own that. Our home is disorganized, we have both cleaning people and me 'tidying up', and we are on the go. His father hates loud noises. So we asked the teacher for some help.
The result? Twenty minutes a day to practice (we'd like an hour) with special rubber tipped drumsticks and a small drum pad to go in the backpack for when Anthony is on the go.
Anthony had wanted to keep this hidden from me, all of it. Sometimes things have to go to a confrontation for the healing to take place. And it did.
I told him how with his homework, that used to be a nightmare, but in the last year he really got his act together and it wasn't a problem. Perhaps if he could harness whatever worked for that towards the music it would help too.
I also let him know if he didn't have the talent I'd have stopped a long time ago.
Sure enough, with the rest of the lesson, he mastered in ten minutes something his teacher took two years to learn--playing one hundred eighty beats a minute.
My Heart
My heart is here for you. I don't hold back. What you see here is authentic, and my struggle. With everything.
It's not magic, being a spiritual person. A lot of people think it makes all the troubles go away when you meditate. It just helps you hold your ground and get less shaken up or out of commission when they do show up. That's what I think.
Anyhow, you are not alone.
And just like with Bhutan--it's not what the 'headlines' and 'sound bites' want you to think...with my story, you get the day-to-day 'action' from my heart. You can see for yourself how I face my challenges. How sometimes I don't succeed. And how sometimes things 'revisit'--like the relationship between my Higher Self and me. Sometimes I surprise myself at just how Angelina Jolie I turn--like her role in Girl Interrupted--when I think of my Higher Self. There's no love in my heart for her when I get that way. And the Spiritual ones say, 'It's YOU! It's Yourself! It's all YOU! Your Higher Self IS You! Your incarnations ARE you!'...to this I shake my head because it doesn't make any sense at all.
I don't even ask to understand it.
I trust that if I can have my miracle of love with Anthony's father's side of the family...anything is possible.
It will just have to take time.
I wish with all my heart I was that one unique Rose that is loved. This sorrow I will turn over to Daddy (Creator)...and thank Him for the lesson in in whatever it is I must need to grow--the one that is worse than cod liver oil and 'good for me'...I accept and allow...and I must admit I cry too...because what choice do I have other than to accept? I can't control it. And I don't even understand how any of it works. My foot is still in the door and I'm going to jam it open the first chance I get! I don't like the Veil of the Illusion--why Heaven is not yet felt here on Earth--and any chance I get I am going to take it to find my Way...to see who I am , why I am Here, and when I get to be finished with all these challenges on my soul.
Ross
All of us are watching with hope. It has been a long wait. Carla is at her limits. Carla is done for the night.
I will hold what I have to say until another time.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
