Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Control Rods and Grief Consciousness

Dude,  there is so little time right now, I'm writing freaking Cliff's Notes.

Time is speeding up.

I'm going to hit three main points.

I have a degree in Chemical Engineering. Please look at this diagram. It's a nuclear reactor. Please look to part e on the diagram.

The reactor is taking place in the chamber. The reason it doesn't go Chernobyl or Three Mile Island on those people by the water next to the power plant is because of e--the Control Rods.

They are graphite and absorb the nuclear reaction to keep it controlled. The workers and nuclear engineers determine just how much of them to stick in at any one time, how far to stick them in, and when to renew/replace each rod.

You are called to be a Conscious 'transmuter' of the energy of grief whenever Ascension begins to show itself around you...follow your heart and connect to Source, and you are going to be okay.

Here is an example of how I did it yesterday:

I am in the Operating Room for a routine case, and we are waiting for our surgeon. The energy had been light all day. The scrub tech had recently gotten married. I had teased her because she didn't invite me, and we know each other well enough that we like each other it's just a family thing, and that's fine with me. I teased her and said, 'I was on call anyway'.

I am charting, the drapes are up, and I hear loud vocal noises. REALLY loud.  I'm not sure if it's laughing or crying.

It's my friend the scrub tech doubled over and screaming.  

My 'doctor' reflexes and instincts kicked in.

I observe the circulating nurse has the phone to her ear, and the scrub is crying over a painful message from her family.

Her cousin just committed suicide.

The energy of grief in that room was just about the strongest I've ever felt.  And I deal with strong energies on a regular basis.

The nurse and I kept soothing our scrub tech by gently rubbing her back and her arm, until she got off the phone, and the nurse held her while she sobbed.

I'm an authority figure in this situation.

I'm a healer.

I KNOW something is up because there have been more than one suicide related to our work family recently--the energies are just getting to some people, and they have their own reason and decide to go. 

I am connected strongly to Source as I can, and I say to my friend, 'It's not your fault'.

Those are huge words of healing.

Something Awful that Can't Be Changed?

Say to the person--even if in a way it IS their fault (smoking causes cancer, etc)--It's NOT YOUR FAULT.

This shifts the person from victim to one who can take action.

Then I asked, gently and carefully, 'was the family kind of expecting this maybe some day to happen?'

The answer was a resounding YES! She had taken her cousin to the ER after an overdose of pills, and talked her into living, and given her much support. They had been together at the wedding, and the cousin had called her to 'hang out' afterwards too. She had wanted to really 'try to get better'.

Now this.

Again, as the voice of authority in that situation, I looked her in the eyes and said, 'It is a terrible disease your cousin had', 'Go and be with your family and don't think about here'  and 'You are in no condition to drive, can someone give you a ride?'

She had carpooled with her husband. He was on his way.

THIS is what  a control rod does.

It took me some time to get my own energy calm after it, all of us in the OR including the surgeon who came in after our scrub left, were shaken.  And fortunately, a replacement scrub was called by the nurse at the beginning, and he was ready to assume the duties after the new bride had left.

Yesterday my stress levels went through the roof. I could barely keep them in check.

Mercury is going normal again--and the full moon has its effects--but for me, they were good and something was up yesterday.

I can't explain it. I have my thoughts about it, but I keep it to myself.

The child care/kid/sports schedule coordination combination with my work schedule reached new levels of despair for me yesterday.

The tryouts switched at the last minute from Thursday to Tuesday. So did the location. Both parents had to work. A grandparent was called that day to take Anthony.  He also had an after school enrichment activity starting that day.

Right as I get the email 'cancelled due to rain', grandmother is picking Anthony up from school. He is very unhappy.

And I had been trying all day to get coverage so I could go to a meeting where I get paid as an anesthesia computer consultant, but my surgeon was late and things weren't working out.

Furthermore...during my gap between cases, when I would eat lunch as planned, a quick case in radiology got assigned to me with nobody saying anything. I showed up and not a soul was there. I saw on the list, 'CX' --cancelled?

I asked the radiologist, they said it was not clear on that case--confusing.

I called the holding area and patient had just showed up.

I told the radiologist we have a deadline--not sure when--but specimens can't go after to main lab.  Someone told me it was two. But the courier would wait if we told them.

I told him we need his firepower.  I coordinated and relayed all the information with the holding area. We had anesthesia ready, patient ready, radiology ready and no CT tech in sight.  Another coordinator came in and assured us all paperwork was ready.

There was a baby shower.

The worker came in with a little plate filled with goodies from the pot luck and asked, 'Would you like a cookie?'

I said, 'No, I would not like a cookie!' literally annoyed at the lack of patient care, as well as my having to answer their phones and be an intern all over again. (ER was ready with a patient for the scanner too).

This same CT tech had cancelled this patient YESTERDAY and today was a make up!!

Can you believe it?

This is the kind of caring money doesn't buy. And this is what happens in organized, government paid medicine--the patient can wait, they can be inconvenienced, they can come back.

And to make matters worse? the CT Tech and the patient had the SAME DISEASE!

She kept saying it--how she's had chemo and all this--but she didn't CARE to help the patient who had her same disease and kept eating cookies.

It's shameful.

So after a day like this, on the drive home, where I had to go out of my way to pick Anthony up from his grandparents...Ross asked, what would you like?

I said to him, I give up.

I want a cake and I want a party. A cheap cake from the grocery store with a graduation hat on it, to let me know Ascension is done and I've finished and I can get on with my life.

He was pleasantly surprised, because I hate parties and only wanted to go crawl under a rock and hide from the world once I was done. For the longest time I was like that. So in wanting some acknowledgement in a public way for all of us, it is a sign of progress, for someone who dislikes social events as much as I do, to ask 'for a party'.

He asked me to write about it. So I am.

P.S. F.Z. and your vastness of nada--I'm not giving one ounce of my energy to you and your ways. Same to co-BRA, and all the other people out there writing 'things'. I only trust two sources--one is Gaia Portal, the other is John Smallman. Ah yes, and The Council. That makes three. Everything else just isn't in the right bandwidth to be useful to me any more.

Clap! Clap!--that's Ross. Anthony needs to be up early to shower, and I'm late for work and it's time for breakfast.

(Thank you honey for reminding me it's time to go to work.

I love you.)

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Twins