Friday, May 27, 2016

Why Sharing Compassion Helps All

The show of compassion is healing to us.

That is, to display and share compassion with another who is in need, is also a form of self-love.

Studies show that 'meaningful interaction' with patients reduces burnout in the physician, nurse, and hospital staff.  There is less depression in the caregiver when genuine empathy is felt for their patient.

How can this phenomenon be?

Everyone around us, metaphysically in ways we cannot explain, is in some way a mirror to us.

In this photo, the healthy one shows compassion for the one who is sick. Healing is encouraged.  This is a form of love primarily from the healthy one to the sick.

It is furthermore a love from the healthy one to ALL who are sick.

Ultimately, it is a recognition in the soul of the healthy one, of the parts in themselves which have experienced illness, and a blessing to themselves too.

In this photograph, the tourist is helping the beggar. Both are women.

The one who has the abundance, and is filled with youth, honors the downtrodden woman in the country of travel.

In this simple act of kindness, she accepts there is poverty in the world, and does something to ease it.

She is loving the mirror which reflect to her, on some level, the depth of poverty which has been present in her own soul for some time.

In giving alms she not only loves her neighbor, she loves herself.

Love IS the solution for everything!

Let me share an example for you.  Yesterday I was at the bedside of my niece, who is improving slowly.

Sometimes she gets in the way of her own care with her anxiety over medical procedures.

It is hard to witness these outbursts of terror and fear shown by this young woman.  She needs xanax to cope with it.  She can't get a procedure, even a non-invasive one, without some form of drug.

I didn't judge. Not beyond the 'this is going to make recovery more difficult. I wonder what medical 'chess move' is available for them to do next?' curiosity because of my line of work.

Then it hit me.

I was a screamer who used to run naked out of the pediatrician's office who they would have to chase down the street to get me back.

I was legendary for my fainting with my blood draws.  (our whole family is what they call 'vasovagal').

I had forgotten.

Then I shared with my niece and brother-in-law a story.  How when I was little, I thought my blood was in my skin the same way a water balloon contains water. One needle stick and all my blood was gonna squirt out just like a water balloon.

I got phobic.  I was scared of the shots. And even after the shot I was scared for the leak.

For this I wouldn't take off the band aid. After a while, I wouldn't take off my panties, just to make sure if the band aid fell off my blood would stay in.

I did this even in the bath.

One day my father, who had reached his limit with the behavior and was totally exasperated, pulled me out of the tub, took my underwear off, ripped off my band aid, and I screamed with the agony of death which I KNEW would be quick.  How could my own father wish to kill me?!

I kept screaming. I kept screaming and crying and much to my surprise, I was not dead!

That was the lesson my father brutally showed me.

My father, bless his soul, was not so accepting of the irrational and fearful parts of himself.

He wanted to put a stop to it, my fear, with 'tough love'--the fastest and most blunt way possible.

There could have been countless ways to stop this fear.

Later on, in my youth, father chose to work with me to 'face my fears'.  He put in the gentle talks, the listening, and the encouragement from his heart to give me the coping skills to make it through life.  It was an ongoing thing my whole childhood.

As an adult, I have been given the diagnosis of anxiety disorder.  Then it turned out I had post traumatic distress disorder from a violent attack I experienced as a child (not from my dad with the band aid or my dad in any way) which had a buried memory which came up at age twenty-six.

That one was a long journey, and a different story.

My niece enjoyed hearing of my fears, and how I overcame them. Her father shared his fear of the 'big black bees'--we have carpenter bees where I grew up.  He was able to overcome it too. He said he shot one with a bee bee gun, and after that, he felt sorry for it, and wasn't able to hate the bees any more.

I think I had the first injury from one of my bracelets.

On May 7 I was playing catch with my son. The knuckle ball took a bad bounce out of my mitt, and next thing I knew, on the inside of my wrist there was blood everywhere.

It was the funniest thing.  It never healed. And it hurt REALLY bad whenever I touched it.

It just got red like a foreign body reaction--like how some people react to suture. And the scab never came off.

The night before last, I put arnica gel on it. For the first time it wasn't painful.

Last night, I wanted to rip the scab off--to see if there was infection and pus underneath. The wound looked kind of like a pimple.

I had to pull very hard.

It was the hardest scab I've ever felt.

It was like a rock!  Like glass!

When I threw it in the trash can, it made a metallic sound on the metal can.

I realized what my eyes had seen medically was right. It WAS a foreign body reaction!  It WAS like glass--that was embedded in my flesh! A sliver of the stone had gone under my skin and my body had spit it out as far as it could. That's why it took time, and why it looked like a scab.

I had to yank it off for me to heal.

Now when I touch it there is no pain whatsoever.

And I didn't realize it, but a large vein is next to the sharp sliver. I could have been seriously injured by the glass at any time, but my skin protected my by building a thick wall of inflammation around it so it wouldn't move!

How amazing is the wisdom of the body!

Like many at this time, my niece is at a place where here fears are like the sharp sliver that is ready to come out.   If she wishes to heal them, now is the time, through counseling. 

Be mindful of the emotional pain you have suffered. Acknowledge it as it comes up. Face it squarely. Ask for your angels, guides and deceased loved ones to help you find your way through your lesson.


Both for you, and for anyone who is a mirror to you. And after all, everyone is!

We are One human family, where everyone is our auntie, uncle, or cousin <3

Aloha and Mahalos,

Reiki Doc