Surround yourself with positive people. It is a card Doreen Virtue posted on her newsfeed on FB.
It helped get me out of my funk.
It was bad.
This past week vacation, and the past month, I have had to make emergency child care coverage--at top price--in order to attend these God-awful department meetings which started at SIX a.m. I did it twice.
Then Monday of vacation, post-call, I had to spend three hours writing my concerns and complaints about the 'new schedule'--one that severely cut both my hours and my EARNING potential. (I was being cut back from eleven 'first pick' days in a cycle to 'none' by merit of my being 'part time'. This is what happened when the O.B. department decided to 'disinvite' some anesthesiologists from their labor deck. Four people were affected, myself included.)
The administration of the department, the leadership, 'padded' our change in January 2015 to give us equal income to what we had before--same call as full-time, only on the O.R. side.
Well, business on the O.B. side got slow. And they wanted what we had. To 'make it fair'.
The result was a frankenstein monstrosity 'new schedule' with no input from me who volunteered to help make it--that took the very best of the O.R. for the O.B. people, with no concept of fairness at all.
The partners took heed of my warning, and changed the 'fairness', but just for them.
Now all of the part timers will get stuck with late hours, overnight responsibility, and poor earning potential.
We are chumps.
And it was taken away from us by angry and aggressive and not in ANY way 'fair' colleagues.
I wanted to die.
Anesthesia, which has been my dream, has in another way been a nightmare:
- The Iraqui woman who seemed 'nice' and 'lived by me' I worked for would take fifty-percent of my earnings on fertility clinic cash cases and fifteen percent off my surgery center insurance ones. The surgery center took two percent. And the billing company took seven percent on top of everything.
- With the new chairman at my work, the academic department where I trained turned into an anesthesia version of 'survivor' the TV show--complete with factions. I could 'sense' I was on the way 'out'--but was powerless. I cried at work all the time. My child care was next to my work, but opened after mine started. A friend who worked at night would take him with her to his school. They gave me a LOT of hard time about a child being present. I was told to 'get new childcare' but I was firm about wanting to spend time with my son. That's why I took him to work and picked him up at the end of my day. That's why my contract wasn't renewed. You know, all the other six doctors let go sued, and won. But I didn't have the money to sue. The horrible chairman is now kicked out, and I'm still away from that facility.
- Where I am now, the partners took all the good cases. I'm serious. I didn't do a single bariatric case for five years. They 'berry picked'. I waited my turn, and then I was able to have some real income potential.
- It's so hostile where I work, that on OB they've kicked people out of the department in two rounds, not one, and the heart room I established--State of California said my CV was the 'best they've ever seen'--has kicked out two cardiac anesthesiologists, three nurses, and untold perfusion and scrub techs. (our precedent as a department was to KEEP these people full time).
- The Egyptians and Middle Eastern 'faction' who are the driving force behind the latest are NEVER going to 'have enough'.
- The only good boss was at a surgery center in Little Saigon--he took nothing--and I was an equal on day one. This is because I replaced a staff who was out on medical leave.. This was in 2009.
When I heard the bad news--mind you, this was Saturday night of my vacation, and I was in San Diego, I was deeply hurt and upset at how 'disposable' I and my skills are to my group.
I'm just a body with a pulse that can give anesthesia.
I'm not special.
I've asked for compensation from the partners for the computer work I do to keep us in compliance and people signing notes and submitting them to billing--they said no.
I feel used.
It showed on my face so much while we were playing catch, Anthony asked me why I look so sad? I said it's my work.
He stopped and handed me a dandelion to make a wish. I did. I asked, 'Ross please guide me the heck OUT of this situation!'
Then Anthony four or five pitches later, threw a knuckleball, and it took a bad bounce out of my glove, and hit my bracelet. It broke my skin. Blood went everywhere from my wrist. It was venous, but profuse. We had to ask for first aid. It really hurt in the night.
And I had insomnia so bad over my work.
Then something changed yesterday, late in the afternoon.
I saw shirts that said:
- KEEP CALM AND TRUST IN GOD
- at the dolphin show we sang as a crowd, 'Don't Worry Be Happy'
- TRAIN LIKE AN ANGEL
And something clicked.
(I also saw, in a flash, the leader of the 'faction'--how she dies. It's not good. That was a gift from Ross for me, a vision of the future.)
Something else clicked.
Life is short.
I will surround MYSELF with positivity.
Forty K less income is CHEAP--a low price to pay--for the honor of teaching the lesson of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE in this horrible, awful situation.
My soul is placed in one of the darkest, most negative, 3D places on earth.
And I am ablaze with UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for myself, for them, and THIS is forever!
It is a win!
And with my decreased hours I can look for 'something else' in the meantime. I give myself one year to 'figure things out'.
I cured my insomnia with this.
And by the way the vibration goes, this colleague of mine, when she meets Ross--is REALLY going to need all the unconditional love she can get, because she is going to freak out--in a big way--when she realizes what she has done. It's soon.
I wish to add there is a very special Blessing Ross and Heaven has given on my request. There is a place on earth that has been terribly wronged. Terrible. My Mother's Day gift--in spirit--is for everyone who visits this place and buys a ticket or buys anything inside---anyone who is willing to give this place the benefit of the doubt and help support their animals and their workers who NEED these jobs (it's the biggest employer in town)....they are automatically placed on the gentlest and easiest path for their Ascension out of 3D. All persons who receive this blessing will be given huge boosts in Consciousness which are titrated right just for them--whether they know it or not about Ascension consciously--as a collective consciousness we have made this decision across the globe to Ascend. So their permission is inherent. And anyone who answers the call to visit this place Gaia Sophia loves and enjoys so much, will be especially blessed by us, Ross has given.
Let it be said here and now, that all forma of protest at this site are not included in the blessing.
Gaia does not like conflict and protest. Ever since the 'no nukes' people back in Berkeley on the lawn who wasted their beautiful Saturday mornings socializing and holding signs...instead of enjoying Her gifts.
Carla is ready for 5D. Are you?
In her place of work there is to be NO DIFFERENCE in how she reacts and responds to her fellow colleagues in her department, who indeed are running roughshod over Carla.
THERE IS ENOUGH!
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
And Carla has decided for herself the better path.
Three things for you today:
That is enough for today.
I love you. Carla does too. And so does Anthony.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple