One of my favorite films of all time is Ferris Bueller's Day Off. 'Sometimes you have to just stop and take a look around or else life passes you by.' is the advice I really needed to hear in my early twenties.
For the next few days I am doing exactly that.
My life is at a crossroads. What do I WANT to do with my life? How do I wish to spend my days?
It is only with clarity are we able to manifest our future to bring us what we wish.
I am at a hotel, one of my favorite ones in San Diego. My favorite isn't five star! My favorite is family-friendly and has a little kitchenette. And a view of the water. (I also happen to have a view of the hospital where I trained...it's most appropriate.)
The last time I was in a room like this, it was seven years ago. I've been to other rooms on the facility since, the last being two years ago. But this room is the one I enjoy best.
Seven years ago, I had just come out of a horrible, nasty child custody lawsuit where I couldn't take Anthony out of the county the whole time. It was our first trip during the week (I had sneaked away for quick weekends to San Diego shhhh!)...where we got to go do some tourist things. We went to the Birch aquarium, to Balboa Park...as well as the more popular things.
It helped me clear my head.
I think it set the energy for me to leave my old work at the university, and to end up where I am now.
You see, I can't go on doing anesthesia forever. I'm at a point in my career where I have to start planning 'slowing down'. I might not 'slow down' at once, but down the road, I'm not going to have the energy to stay up all night like I once had when I was in my twenties.
I'm kind of here, like, 'where do I go?'...
What helps is to notice the things that bring me pleasure.
It's been having days off, making breakfast, bringing Anthony to school.
Last night we played a board game we haven't played in seven years...I packed it...and it was fun.
I also enjoy being at a point in my career where I CAN do cases that are 'impossible' and 'nightmarish' because I have the skills in place to deal with what comes my way. It's not as stressful as it was at the beginning, because I have vast experience gained from all my hours in the hospital.
Then there's this whole spiritual--healer thing. Is this what Spirit wants me to do? I recently got my certificate as a Psychic. Now I have two certificates. One for Psychic and the other for Healer. It's official!
What I know in Spirit is that things that give us pleasure are important--what we enjoy, we give off the energy of Love and Gratitude, and this helps us to manifest it.
I think the other part is having no attachment to the outcome.
In working with Spirit, one has to have the ability to relax and allow the energies of the universe to direct you somewhat.
I am really tired of the hours I keep, and the lack of the weekends. I like coming home and knowing when I am going to come home. I like being able to make plans. I REALLY enjoy my coworkers at the hospital. They are nice people.
Anthony is going to need me more in the future. I need to find a way to be home more often for him.
The last part is Trust.
I KNOW a perfect solution is 'out there' for my situation. It might not be a direct route to find it, but I know it will be a better place for us and for me.
I have the most wonderful warm and glowing feeling in my chest right now. I am up early because I couldn't sleep. It was the worry over my work, and all the conflict there. I know Spirit is with me. I feel calm.
What about Ross?
Why can't he tell me the future so I can win the lottery? I'm sure some of you are thinking this. Wouldn't that solve my problem?
It's my lesson! It's what I wrote into my Life Script, this juncture.
I have to find my own way.
I have all his loving support.
He wants me to share something with you.
It's personal and I am a little embarrassed.
Last week I told Ross if for any reason because of who I am, if I have to go into the public eye I am okay with it...on two conditions.
First they dress me so I look my best. (I'm not really good at being my own 'stylist' you know?)
And second, that I have nice underwear.
When I have on nice underwear I feel like I can handle anything!
Well you know what?
Not only did he agree...but now...all my own underwear, the old ones...are starting to get holes and fall apart! They were perfectly fine for ages before I made that wish! I've had to throw away one pair every day since I asked for my 'conditions'. My fingers just make a hole in them when I put them on, or I notice little tiny holes that weren't there.
As I write this I 'see' how Spirit is 'nudging me' towards some tangible 'shift'--by taking away the old, gently, and slowly...but not promising me a clear 'view' of 'what comes next'.
The other thing Ross did, which is mysterious, is he told me to bring one crystal--he picked it. He also said to wear a dress every day. And to 'pack light'.
He wants me to share with you one more thing. It's about the cross on Soledad Mountain down here in San Diego.
When I went to medical school in La Jolla, between lectures I would count on that thing to give me hope. I was ALWAYS looking at it. I had made a 'leap of faith' to leave my work at Clorox, and to go to medical school. I was like, 'Okay God, you got my back on this...right?' Whenever I saw it I knew everything was going to be okay.
At the time I had messages from Blessed Mother Mary, but no inkling of anything else I experience now. I did learn in freshman year how to help souls cross to the light--somehow I figured it out on my own. I don't know how. It just seemed like the most natural thing in the world.
On the drive here, it looked 'different'. I was VERY sad. It has been the subject of controversy for ages. There are lots of people wanting to take it down. It's a war memorial, but it's Christian, and people get strange about those kinds of things.
I thought 'they' had won. I added it to the list of 'things I want Ross to fix when he gets here'. (He smiles and calls it his 'honey do' list--ed)
First thing I did once in the room was to check on the status of that cross. I looked it up.
It's getting a 'face lift' for Memorial Day. There is scaffolding up for the repainting. That's what I saw!
I felt so much better!
Ross says that's enough of the sharing he has requested of me at this time. One last thing. Anthony mentioned the sailboats. He'd be willing to go on them with me again.
I learned to sail on the Mission Bay. Way back in medical school. I loved it.
Two years ago I tried again for the first time. I was rusty. And Anthony panicked in a huge way.
I had completely forgotten it, and that they had sailboats here at all! At the hotel.
I don't know what I'll do. I'd love to teach him. But I'm so old. I'm not twenty eight any more. And it's not like I've been sailing the whole time. I don't know...
Carla likes sailing better than sex!
Carla used to say that one a lot, back in the day.
Carla likes the rush of energy, the wind, and the eerie way the vessel is about to tip over.
When Carla is at the helm, she feels ALIVE in every way--not like when she is on dry earth.
Carla loves the ocean. She likes to surf with her boogie board and wear her wetsuit.
But Carla hasn't been to the ocean in two years to surf.
Carla likes to snorkel! Carla could take hours and hours and never stop, only to look at the magnificent fish which surround her.
(waves one finger from side to side--ed) But Carla hasn't gone snorkeling in two years as well.
She has not even made plans for it, with a tropical vacation like she enjoys. (Last year, at a conference, Carla brought all her snorkel equipment but didn't get a chance to use it--ed).
Has Carla changed?
(waves the finger again--ed) NOT ON YOUR LIFE!
What has happened? (I'm curious and listening now too as I write this--ed).
What has changed?
(waves the finger--ed) It is not that we can blame all of our woes or excuses on Ascending. (waves the finger--ed) That is not the case!
But there is a gradual shift in our perception, in our way of doing things, and experiencing life...what has shifted is in the last two years, Carla has been getting reacquainted with me!
Carla has been putting her foot solidly into OUR realms, while she is awake--in her 3D earth experience, not at night while she sleeps. Carla has been growing as a spiritual being, maturing out of her adolescent 'stage'--into the beautiful woman of God that she is.
Carla is comfortable now going to the Council--any one she must attend--with her SPIRIT--while she is awake.
Carla is adept as a teacher and guide to others.
Carla is handling some powerful healing, and preparing others to work with it too.
And Carla is REMEMBERING who she is...in every way.
A lot of this is taking its toll on her, psychologically, although she never admits it, not even to herself, or to me. This is because in the third dimension, you are what you DO/Accomplish--a mother, guide, teacher, physician, daughter, sister, and friend.
But in 5D?! (raises the finger up high to the sky--doesn't move it--ed)
I repeat--ANYTHING GOES!
On the whole that can be quite an adjustment. And for Carla, coming to terms with her crystal 'skills'--and her ability to heal working and designing with crystals....is a whole new side of her that has had her focus...for the last TWO YEARS.
It has pushed aside everything else in her Consciousness.
And that is why she instinctively knew to take 'two steps back', and to spend a few days in a place that has both loved and supported her...for a long time.
Carla felt the need to go NOW. She was just holding on as best as she could until this time.
So the pieces (gestures with both hands as if assembling a jigsaw puzzle--ed) FIT!
EVERYTHING WILL COME TOGETHER! All in it's own time! (finger goes up to sky again--ed)
(softens voice, tenderly--ed) Everything will make sense. In a short time. Once you are through with the Ascension process, there will be a REASON for that which cannot be explained to you (points to his two eyes--ed) as you are perceiving it from the lower realms.
Everything is going to be okay.
So if you--here like Carla--are wondering and scratching your head over 'what the heck happened to me? and to my interests? and to my LIFE?' --everything is going to make SENSE. And you will like it.
(clap! clap!--ed) Carla is through with her insomnia for a little bit. I want her to rest for a while before Anthony wakes up.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Family