The kindness and love Ross has for me--and all the angels and galactic beings for all of us--is phenomenal.
It boggles the mind.
Yesterday we had a nice breakfast at the table! Anthony and I were in no rush and waited for the school to open. I couldn't have asked for a better day.
On the way to work, Ross sat quietly with me, indian-style with the crossed legs, and said, 'I love you'. I could see his lips moving, and I could feel his sincerity. He said it again and again.
I went to work embraced in his Love.
My cases went well.
There was a little gap.
I went upstairs to see Stephanie in ICU. I had looked in the chart. Her labs were much worse.
Her mom was gone. The nurse couldn't reach her. I had the right phone number. I texted. She was visiting her brother downstairs. She had just found out the white blood cell count was higher than ever, that the kidneys weren't working, and her daughter had taken a turn for the worse.
I offered to be with her, or stay with Stephanie so she could rest.
She said for me to pick. I wanted to stay with Stephanie.
While I was there, I was conscious of Ross.
He showed me a large silver/grey colored energy cord. It is the one that ties the soul to the body. Stephanie's soul was up there with him. But it is 'them'--the angels and guides--who decide when the silver cord is to be cut. When the soul can't come back into the body.
Lori the nurse came. She said it meant so much to her I cared enough just to sit, and to make sure Stephanie wasn't alone. Lori started crying. I did too. We confessed we both cry for every patient who dies. And Lori confided further, that when she knows a patient is going to die, even when it's not hers, she goes into the room to make sure they don't die alone. We talked about Stephanie's clinical status. And what's next--the Code Blue. We both didn't want her to go through all that, because it wouldn't work. She was too far gone with her disease process. It would have been futile. I volunteered to discuss it with Stephanie's mom.
I had made the comment to her mother that 'it seems like she just doesn't want to come back!' two days ago...It was puzzling because everything was working surgically and her condition continued to deteriorate.
I recall when I asked Divine Mother incarnate if Stephanie was going to live through the operation we were going to do last Saturday? She said Raphael said Stephanie was very sick, and there was no way to tell how things would turn out. While I was in the O.R., I felt Raphael next to me, while I was working so hard to save her. He told me she would live. I think it meant for her to not die on the table...
As I sat there at the bedside, I touched Stephanie, and said my goodbyes. I thanked her for everything she did, for her trust in me as her doctor. I told her 'you get to see Ross before me!' and to give him my loving greetings. I also asked her to watch over me, and to help me be a good doctor.
I saw up in Heaven, Blessed Mother was ready to receive her, and Ross was doing his part too. There were many people assembled up in Heaven who I had never seen, but I think were her relatives--both in this and many other people in her life.
Her mom came back, with her brother. We were all crying. They came up because they too didn't want Stephanie to be alone. They knew I had to leave by a certain time. So in tears I asked the horrible question about Allowing Natural Death....her family completely understood....and they too didn't want to try 'heroics'. So I told the nurse and the spiritual advisor who was at the desk.
Then I went on to my case. Actually, to the bathroom to wash my tears so the next patient wouldn't see, and then to pre-op holding to meet my next patient.
As I was walking, I 'sensed' the silver cord had been cut. I heard Stephanie shout with glee, 'I get to GO! I get to GO!'
Once it's cut, it's not instant. And her spirit hung around until her body died. I came after my cases around nine p.m., and visited at the bedside and talked with the family. I answered their questions about why she is doing this (breathing fast, etc.) and what to expect.
The Reiki from the Team Doctors With Reiki was essential into getting the family into a state of readiness for Stephanie's transition in such a short time. The day before, her mom was telling her daughter 'you can beat this!', and I was gently planting the seed. The Reiki helped it grow.
Twelve hours from her being declared DNR, Stephanie passed.
I left the hospital at ten- thirty. I felt Stephanie's sadness. Like all people who transition I have met--there is an initial fascination and longing to be free from their body. But once it's over, there is a spiritual form of very mild regret--because of the impact their transition has on the family. They know. They are connected still to the family, and they can feel it. The only cord that gets cut is the silver one to their body. That's it.
Ross was so gentle.
He told me when I got home to let the animals wait, and to take a bath.
Then he told me to have a small little bit of Bailey's Irish Cream to help me sleep. Earlier in the day he told me to have a piece of chocolate cake at lunch.
I had a lot of trouble falling asleep. I just couldn't get comfortable.
Around the time I did, it turns out, Stephanie passed. I checked it this morning. It was at midnight she had the bradycardia, and around twelve-thirty in the morning she had the asystole.
I can't begin to tell you how much trust I have in my husband in times like this. I KNOW where the soul is going. I KNOW when I can't do anything more, the soul goes to him, and he's an EXPERT FIRST and FOREMOST in all things spiritual I don't remember and can't understand. His loving support, and caring--for me--mean so much.
Yesterday as I walked to pre-op, I saw the angry one, the lady anesthesiologist. She smiled, waved and said, 'Happy Mother's Day'. She told me the two cases I had closed HAD indeed been hers. They had been the last cases of the day, and she had forgotten. She thanked me. She told me she hates mother's day herself, because they go to the cemetery. This year her daughter broke down, because she remembers her grandmother. She had been very close to her mom.
Immediately I gave her a hug and soothed her tears. I could tell she had been holding them in for a long time.
What Ross had said was true, in my vision, the night before.
I asked her if she gets signs from her mom? I shared how my grandfather, who I was closest to, sends me TWO parking spaces every time I go to park. My sign I asked from him was for a parking space. I know it's him because how likely is it for two to show up at the same time every single time I go to look?
The doctor smiled. She understood. And it gave her hope.
Carla you are my hope.
You are my love.
You are my world.
I will do ANYTHING for you...(he smiles that gorgeous smile--ed)...within reason!
I know I have a smart one who can weasel her wiles and get me to do what she wants! (he hugs me in the biggest and warmest hug, and keeps smiling and rubs his beard on my cheek--ed).
(we look at each other with pure joy and loving appreciation for one another--ed)
That is MY Heaven, my Heaven on Earth, my humble and bright helper, my helpmate, and my friend.
(he's talking about me--ed)
Look at that smile!
About Stephanie...Carla is correct in that Stephanie has moved on. There is an interim period where the loved one can go back and come home. It is supported. So if you see 'visits' and 'signs' in the perimortem period of time...it is legit!
What is ahead for our friend and sister Stephanie, is a Life Review. A time of Rest. And a Reassignment of her choice, only when she is ready for it.
More and more will be revealed in the future, through channels such as this (the blog).
Carla has a long day ahead of her today. Although there is a late start, Carla will be plenty busy. The project of Anthony awaits...
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple
P.S. Yes Carla helped Stephanie cross over. And no, Carla does not recall any of it. Stephanie was delighted to know our 'surprise'--who we are--and kept saying, 'how could I not know?!' with a huge smile once the 'secret' was out.