Gaia News Brief 15.11.2014

Pain

Yesterday I was having a conversation with a close friend and fellow blogger, about how nice it would be to have a way to 'count down until vacation' for the changes we have been anticipating globally on a planetary Ascension timeline. I confessed that it is the waiting and the discomfort of this aspect of experiencing Time as we know it, that is painful to us. And this is a part of the life experience the Galactics seem not to appreciate; we are constantly told 'soon' and 'right ahead'...with no finite amount of time to measure until IT, whatever IT is, 'happens'.

I have had a odd feeling of 'impending loss' for some time now. It's been just long enough since my house had the two plumbing disasters, and I 'sense' my 'rest period' is over and it's time for some more spiritual growth.

(I want to say that I am sick of it and complain all the time to my guides--'no more lessons!'--just like possibly many of you.)

Mom has been too 'chipper'. My earth mom is a real pistol, a total piece of work, who NEEDS someone to look after her medically. She is a walking oral-boards question, with complex, complex, complex medical issues and needs, who needs the equivalent of a board-certified anesthesiologist to manage her many conditions--diabetes, diverticulosis, c. difficile colitis in the past with contact isolation, kidney failure, transplant kidney, bladder cancer, high blood pressure, aortic stenosis, myocardial infarction, a bleeding/clotting condition, severe allergy to antibiotics, and pulmonary disease just as bad almost as what killed father.

It was the hours and days in 2012 holidays in the hospital with her, helping her go to and from the toilet, handing her the cup right in front of her with water ever two minutes, putting the bed up and down, in her misery, that made me realize I do not have what it takes to be a nurse. The psychology of the ill, I 'get it' when I am in the 'doctor' role. And I'm totally fine with it. But as 'caregiver'--the way the mind goes totally is something I had no clue happens--the neediness and the need to control, the denial of what is happening to the body, the tries and tries to get out of the hospital by making the impossible happen (wanting to urinate without a catheter, for example, and going hours and hours without voiding before the bladder tumor was diagnosed.)

So the LOVE is there, but not the patience and understanding of how mom really acts when she is sick.

She shared how her sugar was up in her last labs that were drawn on wednesday. She said, 'I must have eaten something sweet the day of the draw.' This is unlike her. She is very cagey. She KNOWS more than anyone how to work the system!

It was infection. That makes the sugar go up. So I got a call from my sister, who said the nurse agency took her to the ER at the phone call from the doctor. about the lab results.

So here we are, with my stubborn mother who NEEDS 24/7 supervision to make sure she keeps her sugar right, eats healthy, and doesn't ignore important 'cues' her immunosuppressed body is telling her that her delicate 'balance' is not 'balanced' and needs urgent care--who has FIRED all her nurses because she 'likes her freedom'.

Let me repeat--the STATE was having a nurse come every day, for FREE, and mom cut back until the state covered no more. We told her, 'mom, you are eating up your daughter's lives--these people are giving us our lives back--KEEP THEM!' but to save money, she cut back the hours, and then thinks she can clean the house (she was a hoarder--it took hours to clean the house, days really, when she was last in the hospital. I did the fridge--the freezer and fridge were full of sweets and unopened insulin bottles), and doesn't even drive!

As a result of this and many other, 'I gave me just enough rope to hang myself'--self-described medical nightmares mom can't seem to keep herself out of...I see this as a lack of education, of understanding the truth on a deep level of the condition she is in--not a character flaw but--here is an example--a nurse anesthetist is licensed to give anesthesia, so are anesthesiologists--but the training is different. There are many things the first doesn't even know are trouble but are very rare, so, most times everything is fine and goes safely. Well, it's like mom is GOOD with her stoma care, and taking her medicines (except the insulin) and very likable and charming. But what she doesn't know--the trouble that's right outside if there is one misstep? That takes the consciousness of doctor, which she doesn't have.

So I had that feeling 'the holidays are here, it's time for mom to get sick' during our morning call and dismissed it from my mind. (My nana Angelina's first anniversary of her death is in three days or so).

I am set to lose my earth mother, my spiritual mother (she is incarnate and heading home soon), my spiritual sister (we were sisters at the time of Ross and my incarnation together, and we call ourselves Amee and Analee, our names from then. Ross is still Ross, in case you are wondering!), and a little bit more but I don't care to explain...

Everyone who knows me, the real me, knows I don't handle loss well, especially since the first time I lost Ross when we were incarnate.

So yesterday, I lost an earring. My pretty white gold heart with three teensy diamonds that Anthony wanted me to buy to match the necklace he and Ross bought me for my birthday--these earrings I bought in Hawaii this summer. They are stud earrings, and not big. I found the backing but not the front.

Immediately Ross said, 'You will have something better!'

And in my heart of heart, I knew it was gone, and I shouldn't bother to look.

But I did. I combed the room, the call room, on hands and knees and the carpet is really hard to see things on. I took off my clothing, and searched just in case it had fallen there. But I had been all over the hospital, with me on my phone some of it, and it was most likely lost there.

So fully dressed--mind you!--LOL--I looked everywhere I had gone--ER, Doctor's Dining Room, OB, OB OR, OB PACU, cafeteria, hallways, surgery waiting room...nothing.

I met an Egyptian security guard. He called in my loss. And when he saw I was French he shared he trained in Belgium, and lived in Cedex. We had the first conversation he had spoken in French in fourteen years! Freddie the surgical technician, and father of a girl who has the same birthday as I do, was coming out of the lounge, and he looked too, even though he could go home. He always finds his daughter's earrings. I was touched.

It was a test.

I am monitored. And I know my team now who measures me. And this was a test to see how I handle loss.

I prayed that it went to the right person for the Highest Good. I cried over my earring--once I got back to my call room. As I was searching the halls, I kept hearing, 'why are you looking?' And I said, 'Because it's what you DO when you lose an earring.'

I kept sensing this is how Twin Souls are with each other, always searching for the One...of great value and great significance. And I thought how Earth sucks, because I know TWO who know their Twins and had to kick them out because they are jerks! How can a place exist where Twins don't enjoy each other?

I wanted the earring because Anthony chose it.

I wanted our baby pictures.

And my jewelry? Even my nice Carla and Ross bracelet, the first one ever made, broke. It's fixable, but I can't wear it.

What lesson is this? What lesson is this?

It's Ross' lesson. He came to me, on his knees, and confessed that I had to have a test on 'Loss'--so he chose the earring, because it was less than my spiritual mother, my earth mother, my spiritual sister...and met the criteria for the test.

I started crying again, and hugged and kissed him for his lessening the blow to me!!!

I passed that test. Ross confirmed it.

Click here to listen to Al Green 'i'm so tired of being alone'

Matthew's Message  Comments:

Just scroll down if you don't like the message. I do, the whole thing except one part--I don't trust Francis. I know who is behind him, and what those people do when they are faced with unavoidable defeat. They 'throw us a bone' and 'act nice' in order to 'wait it out' and 'rebuild'. I think there is some ARTFUL disinfo in there. (Here is the article)

I also disagree with Creator being different from God. Why?  Because:

DIVINE FATHER + DIVINE MOTHER = CREATOR (also known as SOURCE)

The reason I want to call your attention to the comments is because there is one 'more' type of Lightworker Personality I've noticed and it's shown REALLY great there--the 'Gimme'.  Can you see how those souls are not doing 'the work' on their own vibration and raising it--so they won't NEED a Matthew or a Carla to channel for them? Instead they are in their frustration casting BLAME and saying 'I want you to do x and y and z for ME--you aren't--and you SUCK!' How's that for raising the vibration of Gaia? Ew.

How totally, totally embarrassing.

Another personality I am trying to 'crack'--mind you 'Love Is The Solution For Everything'--but how to apply that love is where the skill is my muse (LOL)--is the very 'by the book' Christian.  

One day I will figure it out. But these are the things I think about...and ponder. 

I like solving puzzles and mysteries.

It's fun.

Ross

I love you Carla.

I am coming. You won't have to be alone and listen to Al Green anymore.

Soon.

I will hold you in my arms and cherish you.

You have had a hard day. It was an exercise in letting go, which is hard for you, and I am to blame for this in the way I left you, and had our infant son leave you as soon as he left the womb right before your loss of your husband and Twin on earth, me.

(He looks at me intently)

That is WHY I am present at every birth of a child on Gaia, ever since I died. EVERY one, even the ones who are born in darkness.

I bless it.

(He was there for a c-section, too, and we embraced and were happy to watch this new little one of to a good start--Apgars 9 and 9)

I do this to honor you, the woman I love.

(he looks at you now)  The contribution of the Divine Feminine to our life as we know it, is important. I ask you to appreciate it, to make note of it, just for today...and tomorrow...and the day after that too.

You get the picture.

Changes are coming that will rock your world to the very core of its existence! Not just with Carla and myself, but with everything else out there too.

When? I can't tell you because it hasn't be decided yet. The one who decides will know with no uncertainty when it is time to unlock the last gate and release the energy of enlightenment to the masses.

That is enough for now.



Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla, my bride who is beautiful, gentle, kind, and warm. I love her very much, with all my soul and heart.

An Inside Look At Healthcare Today

I was in OR 6. My friend, the Physician Assistant Heather, had some news to share!

Last we had talked, she had concern about her autoimmune disease. She had terrible pre-eclampsia and had to be delivered emergently at thirty weeks' gestation. He little one is now eight months old, but developmentally six months old. She was concerned about her ability to conceive and carry a child to term for the next one. We spoke candidly. I shared how I have an antiphospholipid antibody, anticardiolipin antibody, and how reproduction was a serious health concern for me too. We talked about GMO's, high fructose corn syrup, and other ways to modify the diet to increase health. I shared about Reiki, and she was open and excited to learn more. Well, she got rid of dairy in her diet, and suddenly felt much better! It turns out she conceived too! She is now eight weeks along!

As we spoke, the surgeon, Dr. Ray, overheard the conversation. He shared that he had a son die twenty-four hours after birth. This was back in 'the old country' and the boy died of 'hyaline membrane disease'. There was no treatment for it. 'They didn't have anything'. (here, back then, the child would have been given surfactant to help the lungs mature, and the boy would have lived.)

Dr. Ray left his homeland, came here, and trained to be a doctor all over again. Just so he and his wife would never go through that again. He is one of the hardest workers I know. I've known him since 1996.  He amputated my grandmother's leg before I ever met him--that was in 1995. So there is this closeness. Not only had I never known about his loss, his sharing helped me understand why he is so overwhelmingly HAPPY over his new granddaughter. He got one 'back' through his five other kids that made it.

There is also something amazing about him, too. His native language is Aramaic. So all these years I have worked with a surgeon who has the accent Mary, Jesus, and Joseph would have had if they learned English! He says 'Mary' in Aramaic is 'Abe Miriam', and Joseph is 'Joseb'. Water is 'Mee-yaa'. That was so cool to me, because all of my life I wondered what they would have sounded like if I had spoken with them back then and there.

The scrub tech next shared that he had lost a daughter at fourteen months. There had been multiple pneumonias, and there was only so much they could do at the Children's Hospital. Her care had been excellent.

I stared at him, looking him in the eye, in complete shock. This is the one who never seemed happy, who is smart as a surgeon but didn't like books and joined the navy and found his way into the O.R. career that way. I've known him for five years, and although I had intuition about the heartache, I never had known the cause!

That night, I worked late, and got a small 'ditch-the-lettuce' salad from the cafeteria. Try it! You take everything you enjoy--in my case beets, cucumber, and garbanzo beans--add a little dressing and enjoy. The cashier is the one who had just been on postpartum when I first started working there as an OB anesthesiologist. She had some difficulty in the labor, but everything seemed okay. Not more than three weeks later, her child died of sudden infant death syndrome. I've always admired her for coming to work, and having a smile for everyone after a painful loss like that.

She's not the only one in food service with heartache from loss of a child. The chef has a son who is of age, and for reasons that are not clear to the family, the son has left the home and cut off almost all contact with the family. There are mental health and possible drug use factors in the situation. But his family is struggling with being in a constant state of 'hoping for the best but preparing for the worst'. His son left the house with a backpack of books so he won't be bored. And about six weeks ago, he called and asked the father to 'get his things'. He was living under a bridge. There were the books, quinoa, organic foods, green tea, and vitamin supplements...even a folding chair. His father was surprised to see that his son was clearly able to cook and take care of himself...and thanked God that his boy was not hungry on the streets.

With the O.R., and also after the cafeteria, I was deeply touched. Compassion filled my heart for these people who go to work and help others every single day, and bear the burden of their own loss, keeping it hidden from even their long-time colleagues.

What better way to help others than to have faced loss and struggle in their personal life?

So I gave Reiki. I gave Reiki to their Guardian Angels for the Highest Good. For a safe pregnancy and healthy child. For healing from loss and a joyful reunion in Heaven with the infants lost. For the angelic watch and protection over the prodigal son.

I worked nineteen hours yesterday in service to others with my anesthesia skills. It was an unusual day.

I worked on people from their thirties to their nineties. I worked on people who had insurance, and ones that could not pay (didn't even have Obamacare). Three had life-saving surgery. One had traumatically amputated something in a work accident. One more was seeking relief from a lifetime of pain that was only going to get worse with time.

They are my ohana.

I worked with our teams--two of them switched out--having worked twelve hour shifts.

One patient could have died on the table. They were of very high risk.

Another had an unexpected EKG finding that was also ominous, but due to the nature of the condition, had to go to surgery to save their life.

Everyone did well.

I slept on a gurney in the recovery room.

It was uncomfortable, but what else could I do? I could have been called back in if another emergency arrived to the hospital and needed an operation.

See that picture at the top?

That was my dream. And that dream is shared by just about everyone that works in a hospital. The education requirements, and licensing examinations, and competition to even get in to the training are  challenges we gladly undertake. We are lucky to be able to live our dream with our work, every day.

Health care is rapidly changing. There are politics, big business, and public concerns in the media every day. All of these news articles have a common element of distrust, fear, and the energy of separation. It puts doctors and nurses and other workers into a 'them' category, while the 'us'--the readers, subject them to scrutiny and make light of any 'defense' from those being 'discussed'.  Money is a polarizing issue--the public things because of the expense of insurance and health care, the hospitals and workers are being made rich in the system. That is how it looks from the outside, looking in. From the inside, looking out, there is a different picture, of increasing costs of doing business, and rapidly shrinking compensation from third-party payors. The expense for installment and updates to an electronic charting system in a doctors office, and the risk of even MORE expensive HIPAA violation fines, is daunting. The patients are getting more risky to take care of, as well. There are epidemics in just about everything--from 'super bugs' to obesity--with sometimes the health-care worker being put at risk. I saw one needle stick injury and one scalpel injury to surgeons in two days. I hardly ever see needle stick injuries, but they happen, and there is risk to the healer of catching a blood-borne infection in this way. (I have had three, personally, two were in my training years.) One of the injuries I witnessed was the newly-discovered and much welcomed pregnancy woman I mentioned in the first paragraph. Those anti-viral medications to take 'just in case' to decrease risk might affect the developing baby...

So this article, is on the 'essence' of the healer in today's health care system, and the focus is on the healer's heart.

You should know about this.

That's why I am writing 'from the inside' so you can have balanced information to make your own judgement about 'what is right' and 'what is wrong' with health care today.

Until Reiki and other modes of energy healing become more widespread within the system, I will continue teaching and healing, one patient at a time, on colleague at a time, and one blog post at a time, to make things better for all of us, together, as one, here on earth. We have more in common that might be thought.

Love Is The Solution For Everything...

Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,

Reiki Doc

P.S. This is in rebuttal to this article: http://www.shiftfrequency.com/cameron-salisbury-dirty-hospitals-deadly-consequences/
Can you find the Goddess Energy in it? Look for the nurturing, warmth, love and compassion. When you see the energy of nurturing, warmth, love and compassion in anything you read or hear, you will know it is from Source. Further, it will resonate with your heart center as Truth. Anything else? Well, that's up to you  to interpret. Make sure it passes the 'heart-focused energy' discernment test before you accept it as truth. There are many 'partial truths' out there. Be smart about what you read before you accept it.

When You Remember What You'd Like To Forget

Today we are going to talk about something that not many people want to discuss.

Yet it affects all of us, and I predict is going to affect even more often in our day-to-day experience than it usually has. It will be on the rise.

It started today for me with a childbirth. It was a son born to a set of parents, and I was present and doing my work as today's anesthesiologist on call. It was a joyous occasion! The child was adorable, and everything went as well as it possibly could.

Until the end when I gave report.

I saw them looking at the baby.

And I had a flashback from me and Ross, with losing our infant boy at childbirth. (I was told he died, but really, he was taken from me and no one ever said a word about it to me for the rest of my life. The child lived and was taken to Europe, it was a political thing.)

Some people say, 'It only hurts because you let it.'

I'm sorry. I couldn't disagree with that more.

Pain is a normal response in an intelligent person who has healthy reactions to noxious stimuli--be it a burn on the stove ('it only hurts because you let it!'--what kind of compassion is that? ), an emotional wound, or perhaps something from a past life, like me.

If people can have scars and birthmarks in places where they died in another life--come 'through' on this one (medium Sylvia Browne wrote about this one), then why should we dismiss things that are painful to us in THIS life?

When we work it 'through' the pain will heal--but when we ignore it, or even worse--tell ourselves it's mind over matter--then the serious damage to the soul begins.

So what did I do?

I told myself 'That was then, this is now' and I was genuinely HAPPY for the couple and for the fact that for them things went right.

I also KNOW that given the circumstances Ross was in, if I was in his shoes I would have made the same terrible mistake against him that he made against me.

But it still hurts.

And I look at it and say, 'I don't want to go there God. Can we heal it?'

Healing comes in layers. Anyone who has had PTSD will know healing of this kind is like the layers of an onion--they come up when they are ready to be healed.

So I prayed.

I talked to God about what happened. And how I feel.

I also thanked him for not saying 'it should be like THIS' and for just listening to me. It helps my heart to talk.

He confessed to me that I was no picnic after that baby was stolen. I was a warm corpse as far as I was concerned. There was no life in me for anyone. My joy was taken from me. And I knew on a deep soul level what was up. So I fought back. I was relentless in my dealings with Ross...

I would put out my wrists to him and say, 'I want to be with our son. You know where he is. Take me to him.'

'I want to be with our son. Kill me. I don't want to live.' I said it calmly. Seriously. And I made it very clear to him how I felt.

Every time I saw him, every day, I would say something along those lines. I don't want to live.

Long story short, Ross and everyone else learned, 'you don't mess with a mother and her child.'
And further, one mistake on the part of a Twin can 'effectively kill' the other half of their soul.

As I spoke with God, I was surprised at how resolute I was in that lifetime. And I confided to him that there were lots of women who had been through worse things, I've seen it even here at work with still births, and I asked why I took it so hard?

God said, 'I love you for who you are' and I realized no one sees things like I do, and I 'call it like I see it'.  Then I realized who I am in the big picture and why I have my true name. You'll find this out in time. : )

God also showed me how I refused to reincarnate with Ross ever again (my own Twin Soul!). I picked as many different lives to be as far away from him as I could. And Ross never came back to Gaia, ever. He stayed up on Flight Crew the whole time. Like a movie, I could see Ross watching me and helping me, and in my darkest moments I tried my best to run from my pain, lifetime after lifetime after lifetime.

I asked how I was able to reconnect with Ross early on this year, and not remember any of the pain that was between us?

God tapped his head and says, 'The amnesia is GOOD!' In my heart I pondered all of the people here with their Twin Souls, and how are they going to navigate the damage and the pain, like us? I felt deep compassion for all of us here on Ground Crew...

He sent me to Ross.

Ross took me to tea at the Butchart Garden. It was just us. It was the first time I'd been there without my son. I realized as my boy gets older, he is going to have his interests...Ross wanted the flight of wine to go with the tea. I asked, 'Don't you know they are terrible?' and laughed. He didn't care. He ordered it for both of us.

Ross was happy and content. I asked him to eat my trifle because it makes me full. I also asked if he would eat my egg salad sandwich because I didn't like that one either. I watched carefully how he ate and how it didn't get all over his beard. I don't know anybody with one now, and so it was something new to experience, watching him eat and not make a mess. If I had a beard I would make a mess. Even now, if you lift up my plate at the end of a meal, there will be a ring of small crumbs around it. Ross has good manners too.

Ross was making eye contact, and was thoughtful. He ate them all. And as I talked and talked (I am a talker!) we both realized I was healing from our loss, naturally. He knew I didn't blame him, but that I hurt and I wanted to heal.

I had Bachelor Button tea, and Ross had Early Grey, 'a classic', he said. When we finished we ran down to the dock, and took a boat tour of the Tod Inlet. He held me close the whole time.

We are healing with each other.

This is a ten foot thick wall on the fort that is the bottom level of Alcatraz. No mortar, no cannon is going to get through that! You can see the window up and to the right, looking out.

How many of us have walls that thick on our emotions?

I also picked the first photo, the stained glass, because no matter how you try to see the world 'clearly' sometimes your view is affected by what 'pops up' from the past, and it changes your perception.

You see, last night I spoke at length with Flight Crew. I really think that they are not 'getting' something important about the human condition here in the illusion. They tell us 'death is an illusion' and it doesn't really 'click' with us here.

The human bond runs deep and it runs this way for survival. Parent to child. Child to parent. Child to doll. Spouses. Lovers. Brothers in battle. Family. WE need each other emotionally, mentally, physically to survive.

And even though some homes growing up are abusive, this need runs so deep that in custody situations one often hears that psychologically, 'a bad mom is better than NO mom'.

Further, it is this horror of loss that is the most typical motivator--any parent knows a child will respond to 'taking it away', whatever it is the child enjoys.

And it is this manipulation at the extreme of this horror of witnessing loss of life that makes MK Ultra possible, and makes that whole dark 'machine' of the Illuminati 'go'.

In this Illusion called Duality, Love is real. You know it when you feel it. And it's not just what they sell cards for on Valentine's Day. Love is the feeling you know in your heart when someone cares about you and you care about them.

Love is FOREVER. Love is never wasted. Love is the most important energy in the Universe. And it stays with you.

If you are hurting because of a loss of Love, although according to the Galactics, the Loss is Illusion, the pain is real. Take note of it, and don't let anyone make less of you for feeling it. Your feelings are important, and the pain is letting you know something that was important to you affects your caring heart which is of God, which is pure, and is whole, and very REAL. Ask for All Divine Assistance to take this pain from you and guide you on your healing path.

Whether you need to curl up with a sourdough Koala, or a Valentine's Ted, your spirit will guide you through the healing process.

Listen to it.

Honor it.

And know that it will get better because you are intending for it to heal.

Don't wait for the Light Box to begin the healing process. Ask for All Divine Assistance to be given to your heart, to help you heal, today.



Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,

Reiki Doc

The Exit Strategies

'Qui vit en paix avec lui-même vit en paix avec l'universe.'  --  Marc-Aurele

'He who lives in peace with themselves lives in peace with the Universe.'  -- Marcus Aurelius



Every Soul Has The Freedom To Decide Its Soul Progress
Earth, or Surface Gaia, is a school that offers something to each Soul in a variety of levels for Soul Development. Like a one-room school, Gaia offers Lessons that are available to every level of Soul Growth. Her Diversity is unparalleled in all the Universe!


Gaia Is Upgrading Her Curriculum
The Soul of the planet has a Soul Development Plan for Herself, as well. Think of Her being a planet as a 'Master Class', for example, a class for dance teachers or yoga instructors, to help Her become her best Soul she can be too.


Not Every Soul Is Comfortable With The New Upgraded and Further Advanced Curriculum
Each soul has autonomy to learn its Lessons at its own pace. Sometimes it is needed to repeat a Lesson until it is mastered at a Soul Level. According to Sylvia Browne, each Life is 'scripted' for major Lessons, and gifts, and Mission or Purpose, in a Pre-Birth Contract.
Each Contract has 'Exit Points'. There are about five of them written into each Life Script. At an 'Exit Point' a Soul has the option to continue the contract, or to exit Gaia and move on to something else. The last Exit Point is non-negotiable.
For some Souls, the incoming Vibrations of Higher Frequency are extremely uncomfortable to them. Imagine listening to fingernails being scratched on a black board, or chalk scratching on it, or any other unpleasant and annoying sound that drives one to distraction. How can a soul concentrate on its Mission when it is in this state of Distress?

Exit Plans or Exit Strategies Have Been Developed Between Each Soul and Source For The Event
According to a recent Gaia Portal, the exit strategies for these Souls who might not make the most from this 'Upgraded Curriculum' are in place. I have seen sudden, recent loss in some of the loved ones of my readers recently. They share about it on social media sites where I am present. They also ask for Reiki and for Spiritual Support (for the survivors and their ones who have passed). Although this loss is difficult, and grief is not a welcome experience, the loss is the soul exercising its right to 'go', and must be respected. My mother lost her uncle who is the same age as her--both her grandmother and mom were pregnant with them at the same time. Mom is the last survivor of her family line, almost. When you hear news of a sudden death, please use the perspective of the Soul and its option to leave and return as a newborn on Gaia or Off-Planet to continue its Soul Lessons at a 'level' that is optimum for them.  This also applies to sudden break-ups in relationships, too.

Angelic Assistance Is Available At All Times To Help Those Grieving A Loss
In case of overwhelming distress, make the call with your heart, mind, and soul, for All Divine Assistance to be given to you. Angels, Ascended Masters, and Deceased Loved Ones will hear your call! You may or may not experience 'contact' with these Guides, but they shall be Present with you. Journaling will help you keep track of the sudden ideas and signs and messages sent so when you look back you will see the pattern of Divine Intervention on your behalf. Dreams are important for this too. Also be sure to use the services of a reputable Medium if your adjustment to this Loss is extending for a long stretch of time and making your ability to function impaired.



I hope this message offers some explanation to what is happening from a Spiritual Perspective.

Let Go, Accept it as Divine Will, and Ask, Believe, and Receive as you enter your new phase that was suddenly placed upon you as the 'loved one that was left alone'.



Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,


Reiki Doc

Healing From Loss

This year Imbolc came to me. Imbolc is the symbolic end of winter. We acknowledge it with candles to light the darkness of the night.

It is also known as St Brigid's Day, and Groundhog Day, February 2.

Here is how Spirit worked with me to produce a deep healing, and increase in awareness, of something I had hidden in my heart.

I have a skill set in anesthesia that is unique. As a cardiac fellowship-trained anesthesiologist, I have the skills to help someone who is one their way to death, come back. This is more than inserting a breathing tube in someone who can't breathe and would die. That is bread and butter anesthesia skill. It is the Cardiac Anesthesiologist who is called to help when a colleague has someone trying to die in the O.R. and they want help with the Code Blue.

Yesterday I saw more blood, gore, and death than I care to admit. All I can say is that during the code I was helping in, I saw Our Lady in the corner of the room. She said that she would come back for this person later, but that this patient would survive the code long enough to make it out of the O.R. There is a big difference between a death in the O.R. and death in ICU, by the people who count those things.  And as the pupils grew fixed and dilated, and the v-fib grew coarse, I was inspired to suggest an amp on Sodium Bicarb. It worked! And patient went to ICU. I checked this morning on the computer. Our Lady was correct.

After my twenty-four hour in-house call at the hospital,  it was my turn to see Nana in the nursing home. She said, 'I am hungry' and there was a tray and a chair next to her. I tried to feed her, but it was not at all like feeding my baby seven years ago.  I couldn't navigate the teeth in the barely opened mouth. I managed juice. Everything is thickened, because she can't swallow right. Then the nurses and nurses aides' came. I asked for instruction on how to help her eat. I watched. I learned. I helped.

Nana asked for the wheelchair. I took her around the entire building. She delighted in the beautiful orchid displays by the front.

There was once a time when taking care of the sick was done in the home, and the dead were washed and dressed by women. I felt the Goddess, in all of the suffering that was being treated by the workers, both men and women, but mostly women, at the nursing home.

When I heard the husband of Nana's roommate, who is incommunicative, praying in Samoan, and saw him bow his head and hold her hand, I saw the fruit of a lifetime lived in Love.

In the meantime, I was texting and calling my sister to help decide placement for mother when she leaves the hospital. It is our request to have them be at the same facility, as there is a rehab section that would be nice for mom.

All of this didn't phase me. I just keep going and going. But when my sister said that Target had a clearance sale on the tall seven day Votive candles I had just run out of, I decided to go. I bought every one they had left. There were fifteen in all. A deal at eighty-three cents each. They had the scent in them, and go for over two dollars at the grocery store.

Sicilian Orange. A label on another candle, a soy one, caught my eye and also stabbed my heart. Nana is from Sicily. Her house had just been sold to pay for her long-term care. Lilac & Honeysuckle. Dad. His favorite scents. For years we tried to get a lilac tree to grow in Southern California. It never worked. Our winters were not cold enough. Instead we grew honeysuckle on both fences that surrounded the back yard. The fragrance of honeysuckle in June is one of my favorite memories from childhood. I would pinch the bottom of the blossom, pull back the stamen, and catch a drop of nectar on the tip. I enjoyed many of these. Gardenia  Lily . Fresh gardenias were always in a bowl in my home I grew up in. Memories flooded my mind of my life with my parents. Beach Paradise. The beach is a huge part of where I grew up. It is always within me. Wildflower Meadow. That is my safe place I go to in my mind, when I was seven and walking on fallen logs with a friend at Sequoia. Life was so exciting and beautiful and fresh then. Bali Sunrise. This one I have yet to understand, but was guided to buy it.  Sweet Spun Sugar. I bought a big one, pink, for Erzulie. We go back, and she has always looked out for me. She keeps me always at my best, and I appreciate that a great deal.

I hadn't realized how important it is to accept death, and loss, and suffering, with something to focus  upon; in my case, it is a series of candles I will enjoy in my home over the next weeks.  I can smile because it happened, and look forward because I took the time to acknowledge where I had been in life.

Keep your eyes open for similar help from Spirit on Healing from Loss in your life too.  Happy Imbolc. And Blessed Be.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

How To Honor The Goddess Within

Today was my day off. I had arranged for coverage so that I could visit my mother who has been in the hospital for 34 days, and just got out of the ICU.

I had to cancel my day off. I had a special request case--someone who was undergoing surgery requested my services by name. I don't recall having had anyone ask me personally, but I get special requests often. Many workers at the hospital ask for me to be there when they have surgery. I like to be there for them.

After the rest of my cases, I was stuck. Something did not feel right, inside. I did not know what it was.

I got in my car and went down to the beach. It soothes me. Even though it was freezing I didn't care.
I carried an old pirate shirt from a costume one of the kids wear to sit on because I didn't have a towel. I brought a box of tissues, too, because I thought I might have need of it. And my keys and cell phone, of course.

Just seeing the sand, with the little footprints from the birds made me smile. By the time I got to the water and the roar of the surf, I was in the right place to allow whatever was to happen, to happen.

I sat cross-legged on my pirate shirt...and didn't know what to do.

I chanted, Nam Myo Renke Kyo ('may the forces of the universe bring balance and peace').
That didn't work.

I stopped all thinking.

My right hand started to pick up the sand, by the handful, and let it sift down like an hourglass.
I made a pile about ten inches tall. And then what was within started to come out:

• I missed my mother
• I lost my uncle, over money issues in the family--long story, you don't need to know. But we had been close
• I lost my grandmother's house--it had to be sold to pay for her long-term care
• I lost my grandmother to Alzheimer's--she wasn't the same, but I still love her
• It has been over a month of crisis upon crisis in the family health from mom and my niece
• I have been working a lot of long shifts

I realized that in my assignment, I chose where I live because I always wanted to be near the water. And I have. I have always been a short drive away from salt water and sand my whole life.

I laid my right hand flat on top of the pile of sand. The energy instantly connected with mine, and the tears started to flow. I was comforted. It was not spirit, not human, but something in between, that seemed like someone I know but was their Higher Self. It was male. He promised to make a sandwich for us to share. He asked, 'Do you know what I mean when I say I will make a sandwich. Not one for you, or one for me, but one for BOTH of us.' Cryptic as those words were, the feeling I got from them was that this entity was going to be by my side through thick and through thin, and not to worry.

And the tears stopped. I picked everything up and went back to the car. 

I think these are the moments the channelled messages from others describe, a sense of 'going within' and 'honoring it'. That is how you find your Way when you are a little off course, and floundering.

It takes a strong connection to Nature, trust in Spirit, and openness to just Be for the moment.

It is incredibly human.

My sisters had started to call me 'Robo-Doc' because I keep going and going and going...

But today I heard the call of the Goddess, my feminine side, my intuition. And I took the time to gently honor it. 

I hope you take the time to honor yours too. Masculine and Feminine are balanced. We all have a little Goddess energy within us.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

Funeral For a Friend: Day 0

Monday night I made pasta and meatballs, the favorite, of my boy. While putting the leftovers away, I felt the overwhelming urge to pack an extra lunch of it for a coworker, Zucchero. She calls me Shaynamadel, a Yiddish endearment, and I call her an Italian one. It means 'sugar'.  This is my signal that someone I care about is close to dying and making the 'transition'. 

Even though I get those 'signals', ninety percent of the time, I dismiss them.

See the part in the blurb about the 'husband nurse who made his wife, who is also a nurse, take one pain pill because he could not believe that she had no pain after gallbladder surgery?'--over there, to the sidebar on the right, in the 'About Me' section? He was in a motorcycle accident Monday afternoon. A car turned in front of him and never saw him. Blunt, multiple trauma. And taken, ironically, to the Trauma Center where I worked with him in the O.R. since my intern year.

Dennis is a survivor of two heart transplants. I had been in a holding pattern since getting the 'group text message' from Zucchero yesterday morning that said, 'wait for more information on his condition'.

On my way to work this morning, I had two 'signs'. Number one, as I was thinking about duality, and how there was not much time left in it, I pondered how there was not much time left 'for making dreams come true'. I had read somewhere that we won't be doing stuff like that any more when we ascend. I haven't any dreams lately...I thought to myself, at a loss. My dreaming function is kind of dead. (After 'no man' and 'no baby with someone who loves you' I kind of gave up on my dreams. I want to Ascend solo. Seriously. No more heartache for me.). I thought about it in a clinical, unemotional way, like I would if I noticed something going on medically with my body...

Instantly I felt a strong hug from Blessed Mother, she held me tight, and promised me that good things are in my Path. I also saw the words on the cab of a truck, that said, 'God is good.'

Okay, I thought. At least I am on time today at work. Funny how five minutes makes a big deal anyways.

As I got my drug box out for the day, the Charge Nurse said, 'I have to talk to you about something.'
What?
"Dennis died."

Instantly, tears struck. I put my head on her shoulder, and cried great big sobs!
Was it the neck? (he may have had a cervical spine injury)
'No. The injuries were just too much for him.'
I KNEW he was ready to go, but just hadn't figured a way out--he loved his wife so much. He was ready to go months ago, before the retirement party. I did Reiki on him, and I sent him the Transition symbol to help...
I looked her in the eye, for she had been crying too, It is not easy KNOWING like this. It hurts just the same. I tried to say things to comfort Zucchero...I tried to help! And even though I will be 'talking' to him, it is not the same. There are no hugs, not like this, that 'feel right' any more...
She looked at me, trying to comprehend what I was sharing as a medium facing death in the family of the O.R. (I worked with him at my old job, with the wife in my new. She worked on me for my surgery. I bear a scar she closed above my belly button. It is perfectly straight and a simple line.)
He drove me home from the hospital when I had my surgery! I am going to miss him! Poor Zucchero! What are we going to do?

And then, it was time to go to work. Everyone was in shock. One R.N. was 'barely keeping it together' outside of Pre Op Holding.

Even the neurosurgeon asked, 'What is up with Charles today? Usually he is so lively?' (Charles was the scrub tech).
I told him the news about Dennis.
The neurosurgeon said, 'I told him not to ride a motorcycle. It is okay to ride when we are young. But as we get older, our reactions times are slower. He did not listen. I am sad.'
He went on, 'I knew Dennis from 1989. I worked closely with him then. This is a terrible tragedy. I will call his wife.'

I felt Dennis once in the O.R this morning. I heard his voice, loud and clear. But then he waited for me to be done taking care of patients. I had a short day. I came home. I took a twenty minute nap.

'It's okay, honey. It's okay. It's okay.' he said. And I got the inspiration to go out in the sun, on a blanket, like I enjoy with the turtle my pet. To eat a big peanut butter and jelly sandwich, the kind he missed so much once the aniti-rejection drugs for immunosuppression gave him diabetes. He told me to go after I write this. I am hungry. I will go.

The O.R. team is a family. We mourn like any family does over the loss of 'our own'. 

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

Everyone Has...A Guardian Angel

Yesterday, because of a plumbing leak in the garage, I was going through my old things. I was facing the cold fact my Beanie Baby Investment strategy never paid out. On Ebay they are worth less than I paid for them! And I didn't know how to get rid of them.

I smiled because a favorite patient of mine, J, and I had shared a passion for collecting these. I  bet her mom knew what to do with them. Then I saw the envelope.

It was from Whittier. With a love stamp. Was it from J?

It was a copy of J's Life Celebration Service. The date was June 30, 2000, exactly twelve years to the day. Inside was a thank you card Jessica had designed. There was a drawing of her, as an angel, up in the clouds with her arms outstretched with love. Underneath was the phrase Everyone Has...A Guardian Angel. I opened it and read:


Dear (Reiki Doc):


Thank you for your love, support and prayers. J adored you!!! We are so blessed to have you in our lives. Thank you for always being there--she was very proud to have her personal anesthesiologist! And it always made us feel so good to know you were there as her angel. Thank you for the many care packages which cheered her up so much! Thank you for the lovely flowers. They were so beautiful. thank you for your friendship.


With love and gratitude,


S and J


I picked up the phone and called her mom, right away.

It couldn't have been an accident.

And I never let on why I called. We just caught up. An hour of your time is the best gift of all.

Why am I sharing about J? She is the first one to really demonstrate how spirit and healing are one.

I was not assigned to her case. I was going to do a thoracic case, and place my first double-lumen endotrracheal tube. Tony, the chief resident, who was two years ahead of me, needed one more thoracic case towards his graduation requirements. So we switched. I was on call. A long crani...

I met J in pre-op holding. Her parents were next to her, in the little chairs, worried.

J's concern was that at another Children's Hospital in the area, she had to walk back to the O.R., and remembered EVERYTHING before they put her out. She did not want to remember anything besides pre-op holding today. She kept saying, 'they did not give me enough'. She also wanted to get up and pee, but the nurse wanted her to use the bedpan. J thought that was disgusting, the bedpan.

She might not be able to walk after the surgery, let her walk to the bathroom now, I thought. And after that, I did my old trick, keep pushing versed until the patient slurs their words. J took eight milligrams. (Her seizure medication had supercharged the liver. Most adults take two. J was eleven.)

It was a long, brutal surgery. I won't go into detail, but plastics had to be called in the middle of the night to assist with the closure. Her looks were dramatically altered. When she woke up, the first thing she said in the recovery room was, "Do my parents KNOW that I am here?" We brought them to be with her right away.  We were thrilled she was herself, and everything still worked.

That was when it started. My making rounds to check on J. And they never stopped. At first, it was to the pediatric intensive care unit, to make sure she had adequate pain relief (her tolerance was real), and that she did not see herself without her bandages until Child Life and Chaplain had prepared her first.

The family was so happy with my care, that they requested me.  For two more years, I did anesthesia for scans, for kidney surgery, for lung surgery...anything she went to the operating room for, I did. Even for a portacath. If J needed surgery, the scheduler knew to assign me the case.

It was the last one that I knew she was not doing well. Her liver had pooped out. It took much less drugs to achieve the effect. It must have been full of mets. I kept that to myself, and did not say anything to her parents.

Every day I would check to see if she was admitted to peds. And if she was, I would stop by. D, the charge nurse, would bring in his guitar and play for her, because she enjoyed it. And we talked about Beanie Babies, and what she wanted to be when she grows up. She was a cheerleader, and even when she had to sit in a wheelchair, she still screamed her head off for the team. She had two pets, a rabbit and a dog, and loved them very much. She was an only child.

In one of the care packages, I gave her a magnet. With an angel, that said, Everyone has...A Guardian Angel. That is what inspired her to make the drawing, that was selected to make the Christmas Cards designed by patients in the gift shop that year. It was the same design for the thank you card. (my matching magnet is scanned and in the photo on top).

I was there when J passed. I was in the O.R. helping a c-section. It was about ten at night. I felt it. I wanted to go to be there in pediatrics, and I couldn't go. But when the baby was born, a little girl, I felt it--J had a new chance at life, and took it. She went in. I never told anyone about that either.

I don't know how to explain it, but when people come back to live a new life, they also have the ability to visit those they love that are intuitive. J came back to me. She asked me to look after her mother. She judged herself harshly for this short life, and her choices. I can do better! I let her know I  did not judge her, and that I believe she lived a good life. And further that she could do what she wanted to do in this next one. I believed in her good head on her shoulders and ability to make the right choices.

From time to time, J has come back and given me messages of a personal nature. To help me guide my life. And I have kept in touch with her parents. We all have become dear friends.  Her mom took the pain, and went back to divinity school. She is a chaplain at a big hospital for kids. She gets the ICU, cardiac surgery unit, and the bone marrow transplant ward. She has only told two families about her loss. She says when the children have a dream about Jesus, and He says everything is going to be okay, it's all over. Even the ones that look well and seem to be doing all right. She says, the kids know they are dying. The parents don't. And she helps everyone adjust as best she can.

J blessed me with her angelic presence. I am comforted to know the angels that are her parents are just a phone call away. And through them I learned about the angel I have in me: my heart. I have J's photo on the wall, in her cheerleader suit and Tigger hat. I smile at it every day.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc