Everyone Has...A Guardian Angel

Yesterday, because of a plumbing leak in the garage, I was going through my old things. I was facing the cold fact my Beanie Baby Investment strategy never paid out. On Ebay they are worth less than I paid for them! And I didn't know how to get rid of them.

I smiled because a favorite patient of mine, J, and I had shared a passion for collecting these. I  bet her mom knew what to do with them. Then I saw the envelope.

It was from Whittier. With a love stamp. Was it from J?

It was a copy of J's Life Celebration Service. The date was June 30, 2000, exactly twelve years to the day. Inside was a thank you card Jessica had designed. There was a drawing of her, as an angel, up in the clouds with her arms outstretched with love. Underneath was the phrase Everyone Has...A Guardian Angel. I opened it and read:


Dear (Reiki Doc):


Thank you for your love, support and prayers. J adored you!!! We are so blessed to have you in our lives. Thank you for always being there--she was very proud to have her personal anesthesiologist! And it always made us feel so good to know you were there as her angel. Thank you for the many care packages which cheered her up so much! Thank you for the lovely flowers. They were so beautiful. thank you for your friendship.


With love and gratitude,


S and J


I picked up the phone and called her mom, right away.

It couldn't have been an accident.

And I never let on why I called. We just caught up. An hour of your time is the best gift of all.

Why am I sharing about J? She is the first one to really demonstrate how spirit and healing are one.

I was not assigned to her case. I was going to do a thoracic case, and place my first double-lumen endotrracheal tube. Tony, the chief resident, who was two years ahead of me, needed one more thoracic case towards his graduation requirements. So we switched. I was on call. A long crani...

I met J in pre-op holding. Her parents were next to her, in the little chairs, worried.

J's concern was that at another Children's Hospital in the area, she had to walk back to the O.R., and remembered EVERYTHING before they put her out. She did not want to remember anything besides pre-op holding today. She kept saying, 'they did not give me enough'. She also wanted to get up and pee, but the nurse wanted her to use the bedpan. J thought that was disgusting, the bedpan.

She might not be able to walk after the surgery, let her walk to the bathroom now, I thought. And after that, I did my old trick, keep pushing versed until the patient slurs their words. J took eight milligrams. (Her seizure medication had supercharged the liver. Most adults take two. J was eleven.)

It was a long, brutal surgery. I won't go into detail, but plastics had to be called in the middle of the night to assist with the closure. Her looks were dramatically altered. When she woke up, the first thing she said in the recovery room was, "Do my parents KNOW that I am here?" We brought them to be with her right away.  We were thrilled she was herself, and everything still worked.

That was when it started. My making rounds to check on J. And they never stopped. At first, it was to the pediatric intensive care unit, to make sure she had adequate pain relief (her tolerance was real), and that she did not see herself without her bandages until Child Life and Chaplain had prepared her first.

The family was so happy with my care, that they requested me.  For two more years, I did anesthesia for scans, for kidney surgery, for lung surgery...anything she went to the operating room for, I did. Even for a portacath. If J needed surgery, the scheduler knew to assign me the case.

It was the last one that I knew she was not doing well. Her liver had pooped out. It took much less drugs to achieve the effect. It must have been full of mets. I kept that to myself, and did not say anything to her parents.

Every day I would check to see if she was admitted to peds. And if she was, I would stop by. D, the charge nurse, would bring in his guitar and play for her, because she enjoyed it. And we talked about Beanie Babies, and what she wanted to be when she grows up. She was a cheerleader, and even when she had to sit in a wheelchair, she still screamed her head off for the team. She had two pets, a rabbit and a dog, and loved them very much. She was an only child.

In one of the care packages, I gave her a magnet. With an angel, that said, Everyone has...A Guardian Angel. That is what inspired her to make the drawing, that was selected to make the Christmas Cards designed by patients in the gift shop that year. It was the same design for the thank you card. (my matching magnet is scanned and in the photo on top).

I was there when J passed. I was in the O.R. helping a c-section. It was about ten at night. I felt it. I wanted to go to be there in pediatrics, and I couldn't go. But when the baby was born, a little girl, I felt it--J had a new chance at life, and took it. She went in. I never told anyone about that either.

I don't know how to explain it, but when people come back to live a new life, they also have the ability to visit those they love that are intuitive. J came back to me. She asked me to look after her mother. She judged herself harshly for this short life, and her choices. I can do better! I let her know I  did not judge her, and that I believe she lived a good life. And further that she could do what she wanted to do in this next one. I believed in her good head on her shoulders and ability to make the right choices.

From time to time, J has come back and given me messages of a personal nature. To help me guide my life. And I have kept in touch with her parents. We all have become dear friends.  Her mom took the pain, and went back to divinity school. She is a chaplain at a big hospital for kids. She gets the ICU, cardiac surgery unit, and the bone marrow transplant ward. She has only told two families about her loss. She says when the children have a dream about Jesus, and He says everything is going to be okay, it's all over. Even the ones that look well and seem to be doing all right. She says, the kids know they are dying. The parents don't. And she helps everyone adjust as best she can.

J blessed me with her angelic presence. I am comforted to know the angels that are her parents are just a phone call away. And through them I learned about the angel I have in me: my heart. I have J's photo on the wall, in her cheerleader suit and Tigger hat. I smile at it every day.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

Atascadero: Chaos and Destruction of Life

Amidst Chaos and Threat to Life, if I am at work, I keep it together. The Universe has been calling me on my discomfort with chaos and death at home. Typically cool, calm, and collected, I get upset, deeply upset, in the comfort of my home. There have been little chaotic flurries, and only deaths of pets and wild animals, but they run deep to my core. I wonder what the Universe has been trying to tell me?

It started with the passing of our family fish. It had not looked good for a few days. I kept it in a bowl over my kitchen sink. We prayed over it and buried it. But I was troubled in my heart, and I felt guilty for perhaps not changing the water as often as I could. The fist lasted three years, which is long for a fish, but I felt saddened at the loss of my friend. Fish came to me, in spirit, and reassured me it was a long and happy life that he had lived, the life of a fish. But I was cranky over the loss for a day.

We have a bird nest under the eaves in our home. With joy I pointed out to my child the nest and we listened to the little peeps. Mom and Dad bird were actively feeding them. Later that day, I found a parent bird dead under the nest. It was still soft, not stiff. Horror penetrated my core. I decided to give the parent a proper burial in the garden, and I did, wrapping it in soft leaves and flowers first. The spirit of the bird, who was not as talkative as Fish, communicated thoughts: 1) appreciation for the care and concern 2)properly mourning the loss, which is not done in nature. I let it go, but was more irritable and cranky for the next day and a half.

My pet turtle, of over twenty years, has been ill. The treatments were not working, and I brought it in. The damage had progressed, and turtle lost a toe in that office. Reptiles are slow to heal, and it will take weeks to notice an improvement, if any. I might be faced with the long slow death of a beloved pet.

Next I found a lizard on the staircase! I scooped him up in a carrying case,  And set him free outside. Two days later, another one was on the screen. I scooped him up the same way too. Just a couple of unexpected surprises, that jolted me, and made me feel off balance.

Last night it was rat. Our snake does not always eat. I board the feeders, and love them dearly until it is their 'time'. The lighter one, the one with all the personality, had been breathing hard and not walking straight the night before. It had been leaning on the other rat, the hooded one. The other rat looked at me with confusion and distress at the plight of his cage-mate. Many feeder rats are infected with a mycoplasma, and both of these were no exception. They wheezed and sneezed often, which is not normal for a rat. I found light rat dead on the bottom of the cage, and other rat was in the corner, horrified. I found a small box, lined it with soft tissues, and gently put the dead one inside. The other rat was agitated and confused by my actions. I went into the garden, and picked leaves and flowers. I arranged them in the box. I put the box in the cage, showed other rat, and we prayed as I closed the box. The other rat knows it is doomed. It has been put into the snake cage about four times, and lived. The snake was not hungry. Now with the passing from disease, it knows its time is limited. With compassion, I said, 'it is not pleasant and good to be in this life at times like this. But there is reason for it.' and I felt it get more courage because it knew its death would not be trivialized in either case.

My child yanked open the fridge and spilled all the melon I had carefully cut into melon balls for our breakfast. China went clattering, and I was afraid it broke. The sticky mess was all over the fridge and the floor. This happened right when I was 'done' with the kitchen clean up and had been looking forward to a moment of rest. 'Get out of my kitchen!' I roared. Angry and upset, I fumed and cleaned up the messes.

For reason unknown, when faced with sudden and unexpected loss, I lose my composure completely.

I apologized to my son. The stress of work and home just broke me.

Reiki doesn't fix that in the way of 'preventing' outbursts and frustration. It provides a framework to deal with it constructively. And an awareness as an impartial observer of one's actions, and a desire to make things right. Why would there be so much chaos so soon? Will I be able to keep it together when the Mass Arrests commence? One can only hope these 'mini-quakes' to my present-day reality are in preparation for a smoother passage  with less reactivity in those coming times.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

On Joy : )

Yesterday we were at a birthday party. It was at a place with all the jumpy things inside, in an industrial park. It was fun. Everybody running around smiling and screaming. Inside it was dark and had a full laser light show thing going. And there were points of light like stars shining all over everything.

Not one kid was crying. Even the parent who had disciplined her second son and not let him come, but brought the other one, jumped around and had a good time.

How often do we experience the joy to be alive?

Let me say that again: how often do we take the time to experience, without chemical substances in our system, the simple joy and thrill to be alive?

Why is it that we only wait for birthdays?

What if Un-birthdays could be like, Birthdays too? The joy is in the unexpected. The freedom from having to produce, to survive, to organize and clean and earn and be politically correct? The joy is in celebrating a body that works.  And using it.

What people did not know, and did not experience directly, was the outside influence of two things:

1) the science of running a business for birthday parties

2) the influence of Reiki and the Collective Consciousness

The Place has worked out all the bugs. It was perfect. There was a cart for all the shoes and jackets that looked like a cabinet. We spent limited time in each room. The cart rolled from one room to the next. The safety video was meant to be fun. And the slides were freshly waxed and really fast. There was an extra 'glow package' where all the kids got a glow necklace and a glow bracelet. And the host brought in more glow bracelets for the parents so they could be a part of the party. The party room for eating was clean and just the right size for everyone. And we did not linger over cake. I saw them even helping the hosts load their car.

Just like at Disneyland, there is a lot going on backstage to 'make it right' for the person who goes there. When you go about your life, think that it just might be possible, that there is just as much going on 'behind the scenes' to create the life you think of as your own. It could be angels, It could be a Higher Power. It could be your Consciousness. Whatever it is, it is working for the benefit of You. Trust in it, and enjoy the ride.

The Collective Consciousness is the part of all of our auras that merge. The old bible verse, 'whenever two or more are gathered God is present' describes that phenomena of humanity. Mob dynamics would be another. Or Team Sports, I believe, get a Team Personality. Anyway, here all of us were, jumping and having fun together. Do you think that may have balanced out a few chakras? I do. Especially with the exercise and fun raising the vibration. There was one sole person there, the drunk, who smelled like tobacco and looked like a construction worker, who was bringing the place down. This one was smiling, and playing, but so focused on the three lower chakras that it was uncomfortable for me to be near his vibration. How I could explain it is he lives in the mind and not the heart, thinking it is the heart, and fueling itself up on so much alcohol and possibly other substances that when I shook his hand he felt like a patient. Every disease has a 'feel' to me. Kind of like a composer would perceive things somewhat in musical terms. This one looked, smelled, and acted like many a liver patient or trauma patient I have seen before.

What did I do? Send Universal Unconditional Love to the group. The children were my favorite. But if the parents , especially the non-parent druggie Uncle wanted to soak some up, that was good too. Either way, it was their for their higher self, the outer layer of the aura that has a consciousness of its own, to tap in and 'drink'.

Joy takes lots of effort for a party planner to make likely to happen in a setting like this. Just for today, think of your life as a party celebrating you. Step back and see what Life brings up. And smile when you discover it.

I love you. Very much.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

Grace and Gratitude: What to Do When Children Get Sick

Yesterday I spent the morning in the Emergency Room at a Children's Hospital with my son. His vague abdominal pain had localized to the right lower quadrant of the abdomen. His finger pointed right to the appendix and it hurt him to walk. Many breakthroughs came up for me. Let's discuss them.

1)Going to work in anesthesia you have to show up unless you are in the hospital. I found myself thinking, I can let him sit until I am done with work and then go to the hospital as I drove to my mother's. Then something caught me: this is sick.  He is your son. So I started calling others at six a.m. to show up for work for me. As I spoke to the nurse in charge of the O.R., she said, 'You have to call the boss even though he doesn't like to be called in the morning and tell him your son needs to go to the hospital." And I did.

2)Using my familiarity with hospitals to the benefit of a family member first we stopped at home to get a stuffed animal. We got a HUGE killer whale that is as big as my son. Why? Did you know a stuffed animal can go in the hospital where parents can't? The O.R. Or in my case, the CT scanner. The ER doc knew me from our mutual place of training. We got extra good care.

3)Trust the skills of  care team members  Grace is the name of the nurse who put the i.v. in my son. We were there at change of shift, the time in the hospital when nothing gets done, because the old team want s to go home and the new team isn't informed about everyone there yet. She let him touch and see everything every step of the way. A good pediatric hospital with let kids check things out before they do the procedure. He felt the tourniquet, the numbing spray, the chloraprep wash and only said the needle part might hurt and gave him practice pinches just to know. Another nurse came out of nowhere and helped hold the arm. And in one try, BOOM! it went in. Grace's smile was big and her bedside skills were excellent.

4)Everyone is a healer The Echo Tech saying, 'good luck' to the boy as he dropped us off in the holding room. The nurse who held our son and promised him a trip to the treasure box for being so brave. And the transport people! You know the ones that push the gurneys from  one test to the other? They have LOTS of chances to make a positive impact on patient care! The hospital is full of places to make a difference in the health of our patients! Especially the ones who are in touch with their own Human Energetic System, or 'aura', know Reiki and connect to Source every day.

5) Sometimes is it better to be wrong than right There was no surgery. I took the day off, losing income, and racked up HUGE bills because of all the deductibles on my insurance. But the peace of mind is worth it. I was never that good at diagnosing appendicitis anyway as a surgery resident. What he needed were the tests and he got the tests. When I spoke to the boss at three, he said when his daughter was the same age she had the same thing as my son. But the surgeon knew him, and said, most would operate but for us we are going to wait one more day. And she got better. Sure my pride took a back seat, but the bigger picture is my son's health. And he got better.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

P.S. every step of the way, I had my hand on him as a continuous source of Reiki. Being a Reiki Parent can help when your kids are sick.

The Guest Speaker from a School Near Where Movies are Made

They're heeeere! Just like in the movie, Poltergeist, Reiki Doc announces that Intuitive Medicine is going mainstream.

Dr. Oz has been raising the awareness of the public.

Now another M.D.-Intuitive is going on the lecture circuit for a Medical Association. I have one of the books on CD by this author. The title of the talk is very toned down, 'how to use your intuition more in your practice'.

How do I feel about this? Kind of relieved, really. I have been holding my breath for months, wondering who would do this work. I am the most Type B out of my whole class of medical students while in my training. And this has been stressing me: who is going to take this to the healers in organized medicine? Is it me? Do I change my life?

Not really. There is something Spirit wants me to do. I have a book of messages from my patients who have passed. They stop by on their way Home, and give me inspirational advice. It has been waiting for about six months what to do with it. Now is time to try. I am staying anonymous. I can be of more help this way.

One of the limits on myself, as far as Spirit goes, is having to stay humble. Once I lose my sense of humility, my gifts are gone. Better to be backstage than out in front for me. It feels right. I want to stay protected until the time is right to make myself known, if ever. I can't make the lecture, but I know what she is able to do, much much more than she is going to let on to the group. Won't want to frighten them.

But know, It Is Happening. Doctors are being lectured to, for Continuing Medical Education hours of credit, by a lady doc who writes books. A psychiatrist that is famous and is making the rounds. 

That is a good thing.

Your doctors working with Spirit to heal your body, mind, and soul. 

Namaste,

Reiki Doc