Tuesday, May 29, 2018

No Go

Sometimes, your life just won't let you skate by your lessons.  It's like Spirit is pointing your nose into your 'mess', and making certain you make the connection before you move on.

Not only myself, but Anthony has been brought to a halt by the bug. Nausea. Burping and farting. Chills/sweats. Diarrhea. It's a beautiful day, perfect day for the beach, and there's no energy to go.

I've always been a high energy person. So going down to a standstill like this really makes me wonder...

A dear friend and her son in Arizona suffered from this type of ailment for about six weeks, no energy, hardly could eat.

Part of me is wondering if perhaps five Jee-Pers was fired up? Right?

Part of me is wondering if perhaps our bodies are being given last minute modifications to be able to be compatible with the vibrations of the Heavenly realms?

My friend Hope helped me through this one. Just by random posts.

Number one, money is an illusion, it's not happiness, just a way inside this illusion to get things along with 'the rules' but there's always ways to manifest them. (she just had her house burn up by a river of lava, no insurance--she's walking the walk and talking the talk, mind you).

Number two, real joy is enjoying whatever is popping up on your screen of your consciousness, on your perception--even if it's anger--because Life is a Gift, and that's where true happiness is in really participating with that 'movie'.  The 'movie' is truly yours.

I was like, in horror--how come MY movie sucks? China. Jared. Alexa. Diarrhea?

I've been totally missing my family, my friends, support--being able to just make plans like I did long ago, being able to invite people over...

My house is mess on top of mess on top of mess, I'm so embarrassed.

To help my digestion reawaken and reorganize itself, I've been going on slow, easy walks with Anthony after meals. The other night he put his arm around me and said, 'remember how my dad said he might never talk to Alexa again, well, they are talking.'

I was glad to hear it from my son.

Not from seeing it.

Part of what bothered me is I had it coming in on all sensory channels. Intuition. Memories of when Jared was interested in me (his 'moves'--were on display). Some vague past life thing that made me experience horror when dealing with Alexa over seemingly innocuous things like taking Anthony to a theme park with her family...

Somehow everything kept turning up WRONG and I felt powerless to stop it.

The worst was seeing loud and clear Jared's complete and total disrespect for me and for our son in his school setting.

During our walks I found out Jared told Anthony things to 'never tell anyone'. I didn't pump for information. But I did hear him volunteer that Alexa already brought up living together (my intuition was right on that one). And a lie. Alexa had told me that she was thinking of leaving Freddy, but he was sick. She felt bad to leave him. And Alexa told Jared that Freddy threw them out of the house in February and they were just living as roommates. I saw Freddy pick Alexa up from China at the school. That was not just roommates.

So I paused. I had all this data, all this emotion, all this stuff going up on my 'viewfinder', and I asked myself, 'WHY AM I SEEING THIS?'

Then it came to me:  if she will cheat with you she will cheat on you.

Jared is being set up.  I can see it from the Spirit side. Both Alexa and Jared are of 'compatible vibration'.

And further, Johnny just threw Lisa out of their brand new house and is going to move back to an apartment because she just cheated on him for the second time. Lisa was another one of these teachers with a kid who latched onto a divorced dad from the school. So now Mason, Anthony's friend, has to go to a totally different high school in September. They had only been in the new house two months!

When I said, 'if she will cheat with you she will cheat on you' to myself, I saw Ross, loud and clear, pointing to his nose.

My lesson was learned.

Did I cheat?

Once. For about two weeks. I had been very unhappy in my marriage, I didn't know what to do--stay or go. I realized perhaps, 'go' is the only option. I didn't stay with the person I had met. I just took from that relationship a data point.

Was I clearing out karma from that?

Was I working out some relationship stuff from Ross?

It's been really hard lately, clearing those last few sore spots from between our hearts. I'd experienced trauma, lots of it, as his woman, in all of our incarnations.

I realized yesterday, for the first time, it's okay to go to the market each day to buy food, you can rely on it, it's safe, you don't have to stock up like crazy for armageddon...even canned food won't stay fresh forever.

That was a big 'aha!' moment for me.

Another one is using what you have, and being humble. Our dinner was homemade corn bread, tortillas, and beans with salsa and cheese in them. And water. Our stomachs were needing something gentle.

I was tired and coughing but had just enough energy to clean the rabbit cage. I wasn't sure if she wanted to be cleaned too. Then I felt it. She was waiting for me to clean her bottom! It was much easier as now I basically soak and wash her rump through several rinses in the sink. Her top part is dry. I sensed she appreciates it. She communicated to me telepathically.

So after our dinner, we had a late night walk around the neighborhood.

Anthony told me he's been seeing a house on a hill, one with a view. He's ready to move even though we have 'lived here forever'. I agreed. Our neighborhood isn't exactly the Ritz, it's 'diverse' as he puts it, and it's like to have neighbors who aren't in bathrobes, squatting and smoking, or wearing wife beaters and getting drunk where everyone can see.

Marvin came to me in my dreams.

I curled up next to him. I told him my tummy is all messed up.

I've been blowing the Flame of Creation all over the place, literally. There isn't one place on Earth that isn't in need of some good cleansing.

Marvin showed me a new one. He blew a little sparkler bubble! He said, 'watch this!' and blew it and I saw the sparkling...it was delightful and made me smile!

There is another one that's like a soap bubble.

And the last one he calls 'sugar'--it's like marshmallows that are gooey. You blow them and when they hit they make you feel really loved and appreciated. It's like a compliment on steroids.

I remember the feeling when Ross sends me that 'CALM!' vibe, it's a lot like these marshmallows. And I asked is this the same?

Just as I was starting to cozy up and drift off, Marvin took me by the hand to this giant, golden dragon that was huge.

I couldn't see the face. I was to lie next to it.

I asked, 'can this thing roll over and squish me in its sleep?'

Marvin said no.

There was something ceremonial, like important about my meeting this dragon that was so big . It's like people were watching from somewhere.

Then I asked the golden dragon, why are you gold? Are you solid? Worth money? He smiled, and said 'no'. I knocked on its side, and instead of 'clunk clunk', it was soft and warm. I teased the dragon and said, 'it's gold lamé!'

I relaxed and rested, soaking in the wonderful energy of this golden dragon. It made everything better in ways I couldn't explain.

Just as I was starting to drift off, Marvin told me to go to the griffin. It looked like the creature on the left, but it was upright like the one on the right. The head was very much like this. It towered over me.

It was kind, and powerful. I was trying to recognize it, to place the energy frequency--have we met?

I turned and walked to it.

I hadn't gotten many steps than when it gestured to me to turn around and look behind me.

There, in all his splendor, glowing and in his flight suit, was Ross!

The look on his face was that he had planned it, he was watching for my reaction. And the golden dragon was gone but Ross had that same soothing energy.

In a heartbeat I was in his arm, my head under his chin, and I was soaking it in. Am I really here? I get to stay?

He held me close, and he held me tight. I could feel his breath on me, I could feel his chest moving as he breathed, and I knew he was in perfect health.

Then he turned, and brought me by the hand to a pair of big white chairs, on the edge of a patio, like this:

It was our day, and we were starting it. Our new day, with our new responsibilities, in our new life together.

This vision helped me very much. With everything.

As I woke up, I asked Ross to put his hands over my belly to heal it.

I think he's going to need to do that more often today--it's still churning.

P.S.  I just got a phone call from Lorion T. Her husband had just passed from bowel obstruction and perforation/sepsis. She is sixty-six and a widow. Virgil had asked her three times to marry him, the first two she had said no. Lorion grew up the daughter of a high-ranking Ell-Dee-Essss named Orion. He was also an astronomer. He molested her. She grew up to drink--full on alcoholism to the point where she said that New Year's revelers are 'amateurs'. And many people--she said--if a guy was looking at her with a smile, she might not know who he is, but she probably slept with him.  She went clean, found her faith, got married, and worked with me at my old hospital. I used to let her stay at my house between her night shifts for fifty dollars a month. Lots of me screaming at Anthony to be quiet so 'Lorion could sleep'. I tried to get her to go--even keeping the air conditioning off in summer. Nothing worked. She saw me as the daughter she never had, and didn't see anything wrong with the arrangement. She even sent the missionaries to my house to turn me to her faith. I went total INFJ on her--changed the locks after five years of it I couldn't take it. This was the first time we've spoken. She called me from Tennessee. I kept it short, and said I'm sorry for her loss. These really must be end times.

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Founders of Doctors With Reiki