Is YOUSUCK a word? I asked my son with a laugh late last night as we were playing Scrabble. I noticed that SUCK had been on the board, I had a Y, and I wanted to get rid of it.
I am happy to announce that we are back on California Time. The first night where Anthony has slept normally in a week.
We were a little giddy and overtired as we played the game. I commented on how I was so slow my movements reminded me of a sloth as I reached for the letter tiles on my row and placed them on the board. Anthony said he had noticed too. Without skipping a beat, I said, 'it's psychomotor retardation. That's the medical term.'
This in itself is an answer to prayers. A gentle reader had guided me to a method to anchor my meridians (acupuncture energy flow). I did it and it worked.
Yesterday I worked with a surgeon who says I am the only friend she has. She is a mother of three boys, and she's busy taking care of them.
I had asked to work in her room. I could have taken higher-paying assignments. But yesterday, I needed my friends.
I shared with her about Jared and Alexa, my humiliation, the horror, and the inability to leave the tour.
Both she and the scrub tech were deeply moved. The scrub tech wanted to hit Jared. Both said he was a jerk. They told me they are sorry this happened, and gave me hugs at the end of the case.
Another scrub tech I call my brother, Ken, yesterday when I told him, later told me at the end of the day, he was upset about it and had thought about it all day. He hugged me and told me I deserve better. Then he made a 'wrong side of the tracks' joke/support and said, 'If you ever need his tires slashed I know who to call. Just let me know.'
As we spoke more in the O.R. yesterday, it turned out that Danny, the scrub tech, had lost his son to opiate addiction. He had his phone ringing and ringing one day at work. He normally doesn't pick up, but it was his son's phone. His girlfriend was calling to tell his father that he had died and they didn't have money for the funeral. Danny, shocked, sat on the floor in the O.R. and started to cry. That's how he was given the news he had lost his son. We need money for his funeral. His son had been in Desert Storm or Iraq or one of those military assignments. He had a back injury. He was sent to the government hospital here in the states, Walter Reed. And according to Danny, they handed out narcotics like tic tac candies. His son got hooked.
We all gave him our loving support. It was a big share, none of us had known his loss.
Later, in the recovery room, I was on the one and only computer that links up from the surgery center to the main hospital computer system. I looked at the O.R. schedule. My colleague who is a mother of two young children just smiled and said hello over the counter. She was on OB but was visiting.
It turns out her son had a 103F fever, and she had been crying the night before because she had missed too much work, no one would take her OB overnight call assignment, and she had to sweet talk her sister into watching the sick boy for her. She told me a little bit of the family dynamics, and said she doesn't know how I've done it with Anthony, being a single mom with all this responsibility. I told her it's survival mode 24/7, and I do whatever I can to get by. We've had parents of friends keeping him one night a week--with his classmates--his grandparents--aunties--neighbors...I shared how before my mom got her dementia, she used to say, 'there's always me to watch him as a last resort'. I felt supported. But my friend, her mom has passed, and mine isn't up to watching, and we feel alone.
Our work is hard. It's not like we can take our ovaries out and cut off all responsibility like a man when we work. There's no wife at home to keep things running.
What if the reason our painful lessons get more and more painful all the time is that we are sent here to learn the LESSON that we are here to soothe and assist and guide one another?
I had two crucial people 'reach out' to me in my crisis--my sister Vanessa checking on me how I was doing after the Jared thing...and Marc who offered compassion and support.
I don't think either one knew how close I was to losing it, and how their actions helped me to my core.
This is how I came up with the theory that perhaps, that's what the point of being incarnate has originally been about. In a world where things are tough, and we aren't given access to our natural gifts from Heaven, will we help one another or fall apart emotionally?
I know 'brothers in battle' creates a unique, very strong bond among soldiers.
I know 'peer counseling' is often more effective than 'professional counseling' because the 'peer' has experienced the same situation as the person who is in need of healing.
I don't know.
But for some reason, it 'clicked' and resonates with me as Truth.
We are here to help each other, without letting ourselves be taken advantage of as in co-dependency.
We are here to walk that edge in balance for the highest good, and to make the love of Divine Creator available to those who are in our midst.
Charity begins at home.
I really, really had a dark night of the soul on Wednesday night.
Anthony couldn't sleep.
He came in and poked my foot to see if it was my foot sticking off the bed, and woke me up.
I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned the whole night.
My guides were trying to reach me. 'Where do you want to go next? If you could travel anywhere?'
I don't know.
Actually, I didn't care.
I was that miserable!
What is your happiest memory?
I don't know. I couldn't even think of it.
They go through a series of questions to try to orient me, ground me, get me back going on my journey...one thing, after the next...nothing working at all.
The only thing I could think about was the suffering, suffering in the form of lessons I can't understand...suffering that doesn't end from one incarnation to the next...and the doom I feel being at the hands of: 'The Builders' or TWDNHOBIAH
Am I just a mere plaything for evil?
A lightworker had recently gone on about a 'Fast Tailor' concert she had attended. How the entertainer had gone through the audience to 'connect' to everyone there.
She is preaching for a different God than Creator of All That Is--the one perhaps we should describe as 'Destroyer and desecrator of all that is'--and apparently winning over a convert in my friend who was supposed to be 'awake'.
Another friend's son had gotten married the same weekend as 'nobility' in the UK, so she was going on and on about how wonderful the 'nobles' are...and I'm thinking to myself, doesn't she KNOW they are pedophiles and cannibals and heads of the church of 'Satin' (misspelling).
Why are people content to worship 'Baffle-Met' (I'll call him/her--'wiffleball') through the mainstream media shoving it down our throats 24/7?
I couldn't take it.
I went so far as to accuse my teams that our team had lost, they weren't telling us, and we were going to be doomed to suffer at the hands of TWDNHOBIAH for all eternity.
This 'battle' had been done in so much secrecy how am I to know the outcome and why should I fight any more for our team as clearly it wasn't making any progress I could see?
Why can't I go live a 'normal' life--why must I carry so much responsibility to awaken those who obviously are quite content with the status quo, and call themselves 'Lightworkers' to boot, and furthermore say they are 'so and so'--everyone wants to be 'Divine Mother Incarnate' etc...? (the real one is actually a little worn out from being it, to be honest, and would love to be 'normal' too).
There is a dragon I know.
He came to visit me.
He might as well because I wasn't talking with my teams.
He slit my up the middle (in Spirit these things don't hurt, it's all energy) and placed five to seven glowing red rocks like they use to make one of these 'earth ovens' cook. Then he closed me up.
They felt wonderful, soothing, and helped me not want to die as a soul.
He told me they are the 'Fire of Creation'.
I had been walking with the Void inside since China.
Then he taught me how to blow fire.
It's not hot flames like on earth. He said to blow like you blow a candle, at first. There's actually different breaths and I practiced them.
It's pretty obvious from this perspective who is working for our team, and who isn't.
There are entire regions of the planet which if Gaia had her way, wouldn't exist.
She has a 'list', a 'shit list' if you will.
One region is currently being 'remodeled' as we speak.
The Fire of Creation doesn't destroy anything. It simply designates something Gaia would like to 're do' or 'make again'. The way it's going isn't within her design plan. It needs to be remodeled to suit her.
So...Gaia blew!
A lot.
Gaia was so upset she started to blow herself out of existence if possible--if the Fire of Creation was a way OUT then by all means she was going to take it.
That's when I found myself suddenly with Ashtar and Ross at the helm. It was a different helm, one I've never seen.
I was screaming at them at the top of my lungs that we had lost, they didn't care, they were hiding the truth from all of us, and I was doomed forever.
They were startled and surprised I would think that.
Evidence is overwhelming to the contrary, we HAD won, it's been some time now, and it's only a matter of implementing 'protocol' for lack of a better word.
I screamed at them about all the babies who were being born to die in ritual, why are they dragging their feet, and to get ON WITH IT to STOP THE SUFFERING!!! Of all the places I blew, anything related to 'wiffleball' is going off the planet first! All of it. Every layer, every microbe, every shadow...I want GONE.
That's when they showed me the instruments. Dials. Monitors/meters. Switches. Buttons. Along the front walls, like pilot's controls. And they glowed in blue. Blue glow against black darkness of the cockpit.
They started to activate them. Both men at the same time, Ashtar on his side and Ross on his.
Then Ross showed me a large glowing switch you throw like in a Frankenstein movie when you throw it and all the sparks fly. It was horizontal and between their two seats. Ross told me to throw it. To pull towards me.
I did. Screaming and with everything I had to get rid of the evil that had ever taken place on Earth, everything that had ever once not been of Heaven, every abomination of Divine Creation, every suffering, every pollution, every disease, every screaming in sorrow and grief, EVERYTHING. I pulled that switch with all my might, every muscle, from my core energy my 'hara', from everything I had ever witnessed in every incarnation.
Then this weird blue light started to move through the system. I don't know what it is. I haven't seen anything like it.
There had been 'times' given to me, very indirectly, in the past few weeks pointing towards next month as a time of 'changes'...but I was miserable and at my soul's darkest night I've ever had.
I think it's a week early--even though 'time' doesn't exist--these changes.
This new Gaia Portal confirms it.
Now I am going to share a story from Alexandra Meadors.
There was to be a 'portal opening' in Los Angeles. Some people we knew in the Coh-Brah organization had asked other Lightworkers to come to downtown L.A. for 'backup'.
These people were double agents but nobody knew. They had been 'interested' in the metaphysical. It was 'cool'. But the 'spirit' that was instructing them apparently wasn't from 'our team'...nobody yet knew it.
They went down to the bus station, about ten people including the two, in a really icky part of town.
They did their thing to 'open the portal'.
All kinds of demons started flying into them, one after the next, super fast, and super scary, wounding the Lightworkers in the process, and attaching to them too.
There had been a 'stopper' in place to keep them 'in' and the unwitting 'couple' had been talked into letting the trapped ones 'out'!
There is a Lightworker in Hawaii who goes by two initials.
I've felt his 'work'.
It's dark, heavy, and makes me feel like I can't breathe.
Every time I go to Hawaii, I undo his 'missions'.
It would be better if he stuck to blogging and coffee, in my opinion. I like the energy light, airy, filled with Nature and super high vibration.
I don't know what team he's on.
I do know how our team works. Gaia gets asked by her Guides of Compassionate Healing at the very last nanosecond when they have her in place for some geographic position (she could be on an airplane taxi-ing through the tarmac for instance). And they--she knows who they are by their faces and true identities mind you, not just as a group but she knows all the team players face to face too--tell her WHEN. And she does it.
Vortex work is very tricky. If Gaia hasn't asked you--for example, as a planet with your energy needed to assist her--in WRITING...it's important to think twice and make absolutely certain you aren't like Alexandra's situation. Because these dark spirits can trick you, and there isn't anything they would like more than to screw things up for our team.
This is a happiness ball. It is jade. There are concentric, freely moving balls inside, carved from the same piece of stone. Only a master carver can make them.
Gaia and her surface work with vortexes would be the innermost layer. Agartha would be below. A lot of work was done in China below the surface of the Great Wall and other 'sites'. Rumor is that now Agartha is actively connected to Gaia's grid system.
This is an example of Gaia and her teams directing her to work with Agartha without her knowing it.
IF you are guided to 'open vortexes' and it's for, example, the sphere/layer of Consciousness--which is your 'domain'--then that's cool.
But if it has to do with Gaia's surface--or her energy system 'ley lines' (Gaia hates this term, as the 'builders' used them to subdue and hijack her unique divine energy)--remember Alexandra and make sure you are not being fooled, tricked, or used by something that's pretending to be from Heaven.
Thank you.
It's a big project.
One day all of us are going to see it, how things working together accomplished much.
And from what I've seen in the cockpit, it's done.
Already there is news of arrest for a certain 'producer' and someone who is a high-ranking TWDNHOBIAH in the media has eight women accusing him of 'wrongdoing'.
(where are the charges for pedophilia and cannibalism? Hmmmm? Please--cleanse everything and don't be shy! It needs to be OFF and AWAY forever, STAT!)
On 'accidental' manifestation.
I got a workshop and free dinner on 'blocks'...on Wednesday night.
I also got dried fruit I had wanted after breakfast two days ago, yesterday morning. A birthday gift was shared--a tray of dried fruit and nuts.
There was one other thing I had wanted that 'turned up' suddenly too.
The energies are better.
People are being more 'nice' and this loving support is really appreciated.
So whatever is going on in a larger scale, 'grids', 'vortexes', 'whatever'--at the moment now the balance is very good.
Let's keep it that way!
Ross
Right on schedule!
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Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Founders of Doctors With Reiki
