Yesterday I had a little vacation from my work.
I went to another place to help out.
I saw the differences between my work and the other place.
I realized at the new place, every single time I go to do my case, I have everything I need in the right place, and I don't have to think about it at all!
I came home on cloud nine! I'd had a good day! Anthony is saying, 'mom, you really need to go and work over there.'
Well, between us, I know that 'there' is often not much better than 'here' once you get to know the politics and the other things.
What I can tell you is, I came back to work today with New Eyes.
I saw everything.
I saw how my suction was not set up right in four different ways. The middle switch was off, the gasket thingy on top was left open, the main red suction hose was ajar, and both ends of the suction tubing (it goes fat and thin like for an aquarium) were too big to get a seal on the canister attachment and the yankaur.
Multiply that times twelve cases.
I had the best line up of the day, but one person tried to steal my lineup. I had to steal it back at the end.
Another surgeon wanted to strain the call resources, and just said, 'I'm coming in, my case was scheduled'. That is so mean. A whole team had to stay in late because he didn't want to follow the other cases in the two rooms. I like this guy, he's a nice guy and and good surgeon. But when surgeons act like that they really, really, really decrease the morale.
Do I like my work?
Do I have new understanding why I get so stressed out throughout my day?
My work area was so small today I had to move my chair like that game with the tiles and one open spot you rearrange (like before Rubik's cubes?)....just to open my drawers to get my equipment.
There were cords all over the floor, so many, now that we have six plug outlets instead of four plug ones on my i.v. poles, I can't even move the i.v. poles.
What I am experiencing is an internal 're-set' of my value system.
One weakness of being human is you think everything is the best or at least 'not so bad' where you are--no matter what the condition.
You rationalize it.
This takes away important data points for you to answer the following questions:
- do I LIKE this?
- is this what is right for me? Does it RESONATE with my heart?
- can I do better?
You just get so exhausted you want it to stop, all the work. And you get behaviors to blow off the stress--many of them not healthy.
Meditation is one way to get that outside perspective.
So is spending time in nature.
Or following your guides--both the incarnate ones (my mentor) and the spirit ones--by following your guides' 'nudges'...
I'm sleepy now.
I'm home on call.
Aloha and Mahalos,