There are many levels of grief. Some lied buried deep within us for years. And in my case, thousands of years, and hundreds of lifetimes.
My soul is awake.
This does not mean it has stopped growing.
Today was a breakthrough day for me in many ways.
Let me begin.
First of all, for me, it is never a vacation. When I travel, there is always first and foremost spiritual work I am asked to do. Whenever I have a feeling in my heart to go someplace, no matter how much fun I want to have, my 'work' always finds me, and I mean it literally.
There are things only I can do, that I find myself available to do, and only I can do what is asked of me.
I am irreplaceable.
What have I done the past three days while I have been in France?
I have cleared three areas and helped thousands of trapped souls cross to the light. I know how to do this, it is a skill I was taught in my Psychic Development class. But today I was helping souls who were trapped and only understood French. They had been there a long time. They knew me. And they responded to my energy. I told them 'yes, it is okay' and many stopped to give me thanks on their way home. (these operations are ongoing in two locations as we speak, The Guides of Compassionate Healing are taking care of it.) One region was where something bad happened in WW2. The other was much older souls who were in some way connected to me.
And I still haven't gotten to the important part yet. I 'sense' there is more work to be done. I have no idea whatsoever it is. I won't know until the very last minute, right before I do it. And I never, ever, ever do this kind of work alone. I work with my teams who are in Spirit the whole time.
So what happened and why the grief?
I am exploring the depths of our relationship, Ross and me. He is gently teaching me and reassuring me of his love. He explained to me our love as Twins is like the pull on one of those swings in the picture. You can't pull away or fall. And even if one Twin did, the other would pick them back up and put the pieces together again.
This is where I explored one of the deepest most painful sources of grief I have in my vibration, I hide it, but it is there nonetheless: how come my love wasn't enough to save Ross from his horrific fate?
If only I had loved MORE, perhaps, I could have saved him!
This is human. Not spirit. This is Illusion. Not Divine Will. This is who I am, and deep in my soul, these things lie hidden and I had no concept of it. I had to verbalize it to Ross.
He explained to me, that he was not able to appreciate anything because of the Illusion which surrounded him--it was unstoppable, and YES my love WAS enough! He was supported by it his whole life while he was incarnate; it sustained him as much as it could from a spouse and Twin (although clearly it was not Source which is the true sustainer, yes?).
Those are important words for two souls to exchange--I am afraid I didn't love you enough to spare you the pain and the response Oh yes you did and I felt it but I had to do what I had to do.
Later, while I was in the toilette (that's how they spell it here), it hit.
The agony, the grief of losing my beloved.
The pain which I had not dared to feel for incarnations, hit as if it was the first time, in all its intensity. And I cried silently, in my grief, and said, 'help me God, please! help me!' I didn't know how I could handle such a burden on my own! I gave up and gave it to Creator. I surrendered.
And that was enough.
Lessons that have taken centuries to heal that have been hidden, may now be healed in a short time--an 'instant' compared to the centuries--and healed once and for all.
This has to do with the energies of Heaven on Earth, Ascension, 5D, whatever you want to call it.
Energy that has been stuck for ages finally 'moves'...for the Highest Good.
I am also learning much more about myself on this trip, besides the grieving part, which isn't the bulk of the discovery (although it is the 'richest and most valuable effort'):
- I am happier when I think in French.
- when I first arrived, I realized that I have this deep and abiding love for France--and it is what healed me after Ross died. Although I will always wish he never died the way he did (I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy) perhaps through some strange twist of fate, if he HADN'T died and I ran for my life to France, I never would have discovered it, and that would have been most sad indeed.
- I know for a fact I came back in a lifetime I don't tell anyone about, but it was out of my love for France and it's people. I gave my life for the country too.
- I really, really like living in the countryside. I talk to Ross every day about my dream home. It is here in the area. I think he likes to listen. I sense it.
- I am quickly learning to identify boundaries and am collaborating with helpful people to find a way to create them for myself in my healing work. For example, I get a comment on 'how are these numbers generated?' on the Divine Healing Codes. I kid you not. People who know nothing about me, and my work, want me to explain five years worth to them in a way they can understand it. But it's not to be understood. If you live with your mind leading your heart, there is no way anyone can understand, right? It is the heart, and the awakened spirit, which is the driving force behind the functioning of the Divine Healing Codes! I also get the 'please tell me what code is right for me' messages, including the extra 'clarify and confirm' communications to follow, or the 'please create my healing code that isn't on the list' which is fair enough but daunting when one sees how many of such requests I get privately in direct messaging daily! I'm figuring out ways to conserve my time and energy to be the most effective. And to let people know, 'I can't hold your hand for you but I can show you the way you can find the help you request' in a nice way.
Ross wants to talk now.
I speak on behalf of Carla in this message. I am talking to her in as much as I am talking to yourselves, and by the way, I thank you for listening.
(holds two fingers up--ed) There are TWO timelines in which Carla and I go to France in existence. Everything else has been condensed down to one timeline everywhere else.
In both of them, Carla is uprooted from everything and everyone she knows, including her language. In both there is someone close to Carla with her, and Carla's daughter. This was the lifetime in which Carla was known as 'Amee'.
In one timeline, I was not allowed to live the life I had hoped on my wedding day to live. The other, except for a small hiccup, WAS the life I had promised and was by Carla's side until the day I died of old age, a 'normal' death by comparison.
Carla was the one who reached the end of the labyrinth in her discovery of 'no matter what, France is really important for my well-being and I am very fortunate to have this connection.'
It was the beginning of the end of Carla's suffering. The rest is the healing that should have been done a very long time ago, and in it's own way is a very good thing, for it is progress where Carla had been 'stuck' for a very long time.
What about you?
What do my and Carla's story have to do with anyone else here in this room?
For all of us are connected in our hearts. And when Carla starts her healing, it is like a little snowball rolling down a hill.
We all know what results when that snowball goes tumbling down, picking up snow! It will be an AVALANCE of healing and the next phase is you--and you and you and you and you and EVERYONE who ever read or even HEARD of Doctors With Reiki.
This is because Carla's energy is 'complete'--and soon when your own needs arise and heal, yours will be 'completed' and everyone who is connected etherically to you in their own way will have their own kind of realization/awakening/throwing off the burdens...
It is hard to explain rationally, but energetically it is so.
We are one.
Carla in her life with me as Amee had a really really really hard time.
(Ross wants me to share the tee shirts. I got two messages today:
1) Life is like a really good song
2) Sometimes I just don't listen ==ed)
I and my teams are going to see to it that you are all fitted with really good hearing 'aids' and that a loudspeaker BLASTS on your 'airwaves' (points to his temples to indicate 'telepathy'--ed) so that all of us, including Carla and myself, can have joy, fulfillment, and love all the days of our lives...
I thank you for your patience with my Carla who is on her vacation, which, although she is 'working' in a spiritual sense, has 'cut back to basics' in order to make the memories she and her loved ones will truly enjoy for all eternity...with the love in her heart.
(Ross wants me to also tell you he sent me MANY heart-shaped rocks today and to look out for them from your loved ones to you--ed)
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Twins