It's better.
I got through my last shift. And I think I know why I was so upset on Saturday.
Someone I knew was dying, and I didn't know.
Whenever someone I know is dying, I can't function. I get these days where I can't think, I can't make goals, I can't do hardly anything.
It happened when my old next-door neighbor died, and I was in Berkeley going to school.
It happened when I was in San Diego at medical school and my beloved Nannu Filippo passed.
It happened when my old surgery Chair at the VA died.
It happened when my father passed.
This was a sweet, young, over educated secretary at my anesthesia department where I trained, who later went on to become a nurse. She just passed.
It's empathy on steroids--I suppose it has to do with the etheric cords?
I don't know.
Am I still angry and upset over that blogger? Kind of. I had a heart to heart with Ross about it. At least he knows my concerns.
One of them I will share with you is the prospect of Higher Beings (for example, Ross) who channel through twelve souls incarnate! First of all, I don't know if it's true. And second, if it is, is it because some are expected to fail? And if it's not because like sperm it takes one million to fertilize one egg--then, I am redundant.
Why need my services? I could go out and pick flowers for my bouquet, and knit, and gossip like the others we are sent to serve.
Why have I spent the last six years writing to the point of exhaustion in the hopes of waking others up--which I have sensed is my calling--when there are eleven others out there doing the same thing, with the same teams?
I kind of got the feeling that MY council was, well, there for me. That they cared. And that I wasn't 1/12 of the total project, in duplicate, in replicate...totally clueless about how things work?
It makes me want to throw up at the thought that this is possible. And that someone would even bring this up.
What we have here is the tip of the iceberg of a communication gap of major proportions.
I am 5D.
I vibrate in 5D and the higher realms.
I am fully conscious, I go to my councils, I interact with Ashtar and Ross...I know the incarnate archangels and I work closely with them.
And I can't explain this to anybody. I can use words. I can write. But nobody without the vibration of Consciousness in the right bandwidth will ever be able to 'get' what I am trying to say.
Their ears and their eyes will work, but like some passages in the Bible, the hidden meaning is going to stay just that--hidden.
And if I am smart, I will let all the helpful comments which are outside this bandwidth just roll off my back like water rolls off the back of a duck.
It's well-meaning. The souls have a good heart. They are showing their caring the best of their abilities. I don't judge them. They have no means of foreknowledge that they have launched a psychological missile at me.
And I'm still yelling at Ross--badgering him. Fortunately he is patient. He doesn't get upset or yell. When he is angry he looks hurt, or miffed, and gives me a glare and I know to watch it. It's very rare for him to act like this. But I know him and I've seen that emotion in him too.
This article by Evita Ochel really helped set me straight:
You Cannot Reason With A Person Who Is Not In Charge Of Their Own Mind
One of the most energetically draining activities that is done both online and offline, personally and collectively daily, is misguided communication. Until we learn to harness our own energy, we compete for energy. Everyone wants to share their "piece of mind" and focus the attention on the self, and at the same time too many of us are triggered by personal insecurities and have minimal tolerance for opposing viewpoints. And then there is the biggest factor to consider: **How any message is received and perceived will depend on the capacity of consciousness of the other party.**
It is therefore futile, to think that you can make someone else aware of what you are aware of, with the same level of appreciation or understanding.
So regardless of the topic area: politics, economy, religion, spirituality, environmental issues, health, diet, success, finances, relationships, happiness, etc., rather than getting angry, frustrated or judgmental, calling names or putting others down, recognize your own role and take personal responsibility. Learn to see how you may be trying to compete for energy and know that each person is only able to comprehend and process information based on their capacity of consciousness.
Rather than depleting yourself, invest in mastery of your own mind and invest in quality interactions. The more we expand our consciousness and become responsible for ourselves, the more we will all be able to communicate and co-exist in this world peacefully.
I just love her, Evita. She has been my teacher when I was first waking up. She is as Pleiadian as it gets. She never says it, and has never mentioned it. But look at her. Feel her energy. Her calm, her Zen, and her cheerfulness to solve problems that are taking ten, twenty years to solve (Ascension of the planet and the masses together.)
I have a little of that Pleiadian in me. But I have lots of Sirian in me too. Today I went in a pool, in the water. I need it like I need air. I find it distressing that bathtubs are becoming a thing of the past. I need my soaking in salt water for my energies to soothe every now and then.
The Shift--and the spoils. I have worked very long, and very hard in this incarnation on one region which was not good energy at all. I walked the area recently. It is clean. Really truly clean. And I dedicated it to the people. I reappropriated its purpose to that which it presents itself to be--now it really and truly IS on the up and up. Energetically. I also gave it to the dragons. They have their say now in how that place is to be run in the future. I wear a small reminder of this on my arm. It's not ink--heaven forbid! I don't like needles and change my mind too much to commit to any design. But Ross explained it too me. It is silver and it has a little castle on it. I thank my lucky Mars for this! (very inside message there... only a few souls are meant to understand it.)
Today I went to our pool in our community. It has had vandalism, a drowning, and drug deals at this location. It was very different from the last time I went. Funny thing is, four more people arrived, who have lived here for two years, and never went either. This was the first time for them too! I'm taking it back, our neighborhood pool, and so are they. We have an old cop from New Jersey living here. He's busted a bunch of crack heads and protected the pool for others. I saw him parked there, and asked him if it's safe to swim? He showed me his badge, and said, 'enjoy the pool!'
Long story short, I will make myself available as always. I will take all comments into consideration. If need be, I won't respond. I'll let it go. But the focus will be on my own Ascension, mastering my mind and sharing my journey here. And I won't try to 'wake anybody up'.
I'll save my energy.
Ross
I am angry as can be, which is not much in any way at all. I don't have the electric body (the emotional body--ed) that goes off on me like yours does with you.
I am wired different!
And you can be too!
Would you like to dial down your worst anger to a mere 'miffed' and 'glare'?
(raises one finger up--ed) It can be possible!
(he points at the meditation cushion, and smiles--ed) This is the way!
(he wants me to talk about the breathing exercise I learned from Len Lasko, MD. Here it is. Take a big deep breath in slowly through your right nostril. You can plug your left nostril, or simply imagine the right side taking in air. Do this in on the right, and out on the left, for five breaths. Then repeat it with the air going in on the left and out on the right for another five times. This balances the left and right hemispheres of the brain, and is very calming. --ed)
(he clears his throat--ed)
clap! clap!
(big warm smile to you for your figuring it out. He's really pleased. Now he points to me to the meditation cushion. It's my time! --ed)
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Twins
