The English was broken. The Vietnamese patient in PreOp said that penicillin 'makes her dizzy'. Dizzy. If that isn't my least favorite symptom of all time--so many things can cause it, and a patient could be worked up for weeks to figure it out. The case was scheduled for TODAY: a portacath placement so that chemo could be given for the gastric cancer that had been taken out one week ago. The case was booked as a MAC (monitored anesthesia care--not really going 'to sleep', just 'twilight sleep').
I stuck my head out the OR door in the out patient surgery center to ask the surgeon what antibiotic did he select for our patient today. He said, 'Ancef (cefazolin)'. I asked if he was sure, because the patient had a penicillin allergy and might have been severe. He said, while scrubbing, 'I gave cefotetan last week, and there was no reaction so it should be okay.'
I gave it.
About three minutes later, the heart rate went way up, to like 130 beats per minute. By five minutes, I could not get a blood pressure. The patient was unresponsive. I told the surgeon the patient wasn't doing so good, started emergency resuscitation, and called my attendings for help. Mine ran in, and the director of the facility. We intubated the patient, placed a large bore i.v., and ran both lines wide open. We gave epi, benadryl, terbutaline, pepcid, and steroid. The patient got better, was extubated, and was sent to the unit overnight.
That's how it sounds when you study, the story of Anaphylaxis, allergy-induced shock.
That's not how it played out. Superimposed on the anesthesia part of the story, was the surgeon: totally freaking out, screaming and cursing at me for 'trying to kill his patient' and getting in my face and trying to take me down out of fear that his patient was going to die. Surgeons don't like deaths within a month of surgery. It goes on their record. And they don't like someone dying over something as simple as a portacath. But in that moment of panic, while my knees were shaking and I was doing everything I was taught to do to save a life, I never once for an instant anticipated the abuse I would take while I was saving a life.
But it happens. That is human nature, isn't it? To shriek, 'God Damn You!' to anyone that steps on our toes. Even someone you love very much.
Anyone can meditate at the Chopra Center at La Costa.
Anyone can find their inner guide on a retreat at Sedona, or in a Reiki Class before attunement.
Anyone can find peace and calm in the comfort of their home, away from distractions and with the reward of a mug of herbal tea.
Anyone can connect to Source in a Yoga class, or Psychic Development Circle, or Metaphysical Store while with Like-Minded People.
I meditate in the car. (Read the book, Oxygen, by Carol Wiley Cassella, M.D. for a glimpse of how hectic the schedule is for an anesthesiologist like me). As I drive on the freeway, I pray. Now I do Divine Peace Healing. Today, on the way to my sister's house, I had the radio on for my children. We listen to Alternative. I was doing just fine with my routine, when Metallica came on. That music 'jammed my circuits'! I decided to make it a game, and see which will was stronger, that of my mind with the intent to heal and pray, and the part of me that responds in a negative way to loud music. Normally Metallica wouldn't, but in prayer mode, it sure did. I had to work at it! Gently guiding my mind back again and again to finish the prayer before the song ended. Mentally staying 'on track' and moving ahead with my intent.
That, my friends, is what I call, 'Meditating Uphill'.
Why should you try it?
The fiasco with JP Morgan Chase is the tip of an iceberg. Expect more, much much more to come out, stories of deception, fraud, and greed that take precedence over helpless citizens that has gone on for centuries, millenia, in fact. A lot of this information is going to be hard to take, a bitter realization that 'one has been duped'. Remember how we are all connected, with our power to influence others with our attitude? How one enlightened soul can influence almost millions of souls around them?
It goes the other way, too. When shock and awe get the best of the less-informed, it is going to affect Y-O-U back. Like a control rod in a nuclear reactor, it is your duty to connect, both to ground and to Source, and stay in joy instead of fear. In doing so you will Hold The Space for others to come back to their senses. Establish Normalcy when everything is falling apart.
You can do it. I know you can. And if you lose it, just like if you get distracted during meditation, gently guide yourself back on track.
People are counting on you. On both sides of the Veil. Your brothers and sisters in the Light. And everyone else who is going to start waking up.