An Open Letter to a Patient:
You are a beautiful soul. Your spirit and I got to know you. I know your past. I know your history. I am filled with utmost compassion, because you do not understand your disease. And that you are slowly falling apart because of it.
I met you in the Operating Room. Someone had wheeled you in, without my okay. The nurse had asked, 'have you met Dr. yet?' and you said yes. You do not speak the English well enough, or do not remember the names of who you had met. That is okay. My Spanish is much worse than your passable English, for I only know the medical Spanish I was taught at school. And we are equals on forgetting. Sometimes I have to look at the name on the chart again and again as I talk to you, to wake you and to gently induce sleep. There are so many of you I cannot count. And every one of you looks different from awake when you are sleeping with a tube taped in your mouth that was put there by me...
Your Hemoglobin A1C was 12. That means that your sugar is out of control pretty much most of the time. Why do you not understand the terror of high blood sugar? Why do you not change your lifestyle? Why do you let them take apart your limbs? For infection cannot spread as fast when blood sugar is within normal limits.
Is it your lack of education? Is it suicide by sweets? What is going on with you? I have seen this pattern again and again. So have others. They have coined 'the metabolic syndrome' because of the constellation of disease that goes with diabetes. It is serious and difficult to treat.
My heart was moved by your plight. How can you be trapped inside a body, on the road to destruction by ravage of disease, and not even comprehend how it is destroying you? It was not fair of Life to come to this! I would not wish your fate on my worst enemy. I felt powerless to assist.
And then I turned on Reiki. (Lord knows I had ample time! You were stable, hemodynamically, and there they dig and scrape and remove to take the infection away.)
I connected into your Aura. I turned the power on and helped you ground. I felt doughiness at your solar plexus, total blockage in your third eye/indigo chakra, and lots of spiky heat down towards your feet. As I cleansed and balanced your chakra system, I picked up on your story that led to this fate.
You were born a worker, to a working family. It was expected of you to work, and work you did. Your whole life. You were not content with it, but not discontent enough to propel you to study to escape your class as 'worker'. The assignment made at birth, by your choice to occupy that body--whether to learn something or to buy Karma--was unacceptable to you.
You compared yourself to others. You had 'taste' and 'high hopes' but that is all they were, in your mind. As your power center blocked, and your ego hijacked your heart center, your ability to discern Purpose by Intuition was blocked. The more you 'powered through' to control your lack of your dream life destiny, the more you made manifest your hopes and dreams shattered.
And then you spent. And you spent and spent and lost your groundedness. You could not 'get back on your feet' . Your body, an instrument of communication to your heart center, was shouting and shouting to 'get me back to center and to balance again'. You did not hear this. Your patterns were set and you were set on your not changing them. 'That is who I am so let it Be'. And that is what you Are.
In fact, another day yields an opportunity to express yourself however way your wish! And so blind you cannot see it.
My love for you was strong, my heart made healthy by the fact I know what my blessings are; one of them is taking care of you. With your poor teeth, and smile you trusted me to take care of you. How very blessed I am to enjoy your Earth Presence in my O.R.! Your breath and life is a miracle of itself! How I wish for you to See yourself as I see you! As God sees you! As the wonder full of Life you are!
I placed the symbols and was guided to attune you to the energy of Reiki. I did the motions with my hands under the Bair Hugger warming blanket. No one could see. Your hands might burn somewhat because of me. You may not understand it. I trust in your Higher Spirit, your Guides and Deceased Loved Ones to take this gift that I have given you, and make the most of Reiki Energy. Perhaps you will have a dream that will help to awaken you out of your suffering. It all starts in the Mind, and perhaps you will find thoughts both new and pleasing, thoughts of hope and making for the best.
And if you don't, nothing is wasted. I gave your 'Happy Trails' transition sign to ease your end upon the planet, a little blank check for you to cash in whenever you wish.
You asked for juice and food as soon as you arrived in Recovery. Your sugar was 105--almost normal. It must have been low for you. And hungry, so we let you have your juice and jello before we sent you on your way. You don't know it but I thank God for you and the chance to heal your heart. For that is what healers do. That is exactly what God put me on this earth to do. And I took care of you with my head, my hands, my heart, and Reiki kindness.