Friday, February 10, 2012

From Porphy

I didn't want to title this one 'how to speak with the dead', though, this is the topic.

People freak out about it. I don't understand why.

For an example, I will share the story of the one who has been trying to contact me of late. And I will give him a chance to communicate, if he wants.

There was a coworker of mine in the O.R. who was a surgical technician, a 'scrub tech' if you will. He did eyes at a surgery center. This place does lots of eyes, including my grandmothers. I found work there shortly after I left University. It was near my son's preschool.

Porphy was a big Mexican. Tall. Very quiet, but nice and very friendly. I like things to stay the same. And every day I parked out in front next to a big cream colored PT Cruiser. It was Porphy's car. There was a terrible mess in the car. Just enough room for the driver to sit. That was my first tip-off that something wasn't right with my friend. It was subtle.

I went to the Fourth of July Picnic. My son got to play water balloon toss and the potato sack race. Since it was just the two of us, Porphy's family let us share their blanket under the sunshade they had brought. My son is very fair, and burns easily in the sun.

Everything seemed calm and nice, I loved Porphy's salsa that was homemade, and also for the first time I liked potato salad. His wife made one, with olives in it. The kids played together very nice. I was glad for my new friend.

One day, I don't remember if it was before the picnic or after, Porphy was late to work. Very late. When he came in he was all red and there were beads of sweat on his forehead. He never looked like that. I felt something was terribly wrong, but he was hiding it. And I knew he knew I knew. My father had just passed away recently, and neither of us said anything to each other. It was on a gut instinct level.

Perhaps a year or two later, Porphy committed suicide in his car. He left a note. Carbon Monoxide. 
I think the late, red, sweaty was an attempt. The family cited 'health reasons', but I was deeply saddened by the loss. Why anyone would go through that is beyond understanding. The sorrow of a heart to lead itself to destruction.

Porphy came to me. I talk with spirits all the time. He actually guided me to a pendulum at a metaphysical store. I named it after him. He explained to me that suicide was something he really wanted to do, and he did it, and there was no one that could have talked him out of it. And he is sorry for the mess it made, to me especially, because it brought up feelings from having too many deaths in my life.

For the last week, Porphy has been coming back. I see lots of his cars (cream PT Cruiser) and feel  his presence when I do. I feel him now:

I want to take the time to talk to you and everybody about death. It is a transition. I can't understand the fear that everybody has of it. It was my friend. It took me out of a hard life. Death has a place in Life for everybody. It is an exit. Everybody has a series of 'exit plans' that are built into the Life Purpose before birth. When you are having an ominous feeling of deja vu, you may have triggered one of your 'exits'. 

You do not have to take it. You do not have to take it. You do not have to take it.

Only the last one is negotiable by a few days or months or hours. To give one time to separate from their loved ones in friendship and in light. But that is all that is given.

When you die, your body goes up in space with you. It is like you split yourself in half. There is a darker sense that stays, kind of heavy. And a lighter one that seems really right that is your consciousness. The light is beautiful and loving. I was thirsty for this love, and how I drank of it from Source when I went Up.

You do not feel the funeral, but you know it and can watch. And hear and smell. There is an all-knowing that is connected to everybody's hearts, and you sense it. Just like you found trouble in the heart of me when I was living.

My message to you and to all of your listeners is to talk to yourself about death. Yours and mine and ours. What kind of experience do you want to have? What kind of life do you want to have before it?

Everything can change. It's what you think (taps his head with his finger). it's what you think. God can rewrite ALL OF IT. Only to change for the best. (taps his head with his finger again). It starts here.

God wants you and all of you to remember it. Nothing is so far gone that it has to be like me (shows gesture of cutting a wrist). Nobody.

God love you for WHO YOU ARE. Not for what you have done or who you go to church with. All that religion is not what it's cracked up to be. Open it (your heart) and let it LIVE. And you won't die inside like I did, so many years ago, that led me to take my own life.

I love you and everyone that reads what I have written. You can feel it in your heart center. A warm loving buzz of healthy energy.

Until the next time.


Reiki Doc