Yesterday I had my turn on the Code 19 intubation team. I was at the hospital all night, ready to put my life at risk if need be to save others who were in extreme respiratory distress. Fortunately, I had the protection of prayers, Reiki, and angelic beings with me. I was calm. And my services were not needed for the night.
This gave me time to think.
I'll give you a quick update on what's going on in the hospital. Our healthy ICU is full and overflowing into the PACU. There are five beds there, separated by curtains. I saw someone intubated and an i.v. pole full of drips. I felt unsettled to see my home away from home like that.
Everyone wears masks. Some with goggles too. A colleague wears his own N95 he bought because the cup like ones the hospital gives us are suffocating. They are. And they itch. (Do know one N-95 lasts about eight hours continuous wear, either kind). Because of my lungs, I wear a cloth cap, a bouffant cap over it, glasses, goggles, an N-95, scrubs, a scrub jacket, and booties over my shoes any time I am in the hospital, and I keep the masks, eye protection, and caps on even walking to the the door to leave. I have bruises on my face from it today, and I am wearing makeup to cover it from Anthony. It will worry him and he is concerned enough already.
Our cafeteria now has a 'Pop Up Store', where for two hours an evening you can buy food--milk, eggs, cheese, meat, bread--if you are a worker. This helps because it's not easy to get to the store with our work schedules.
Our group is getting Covid relief funds from the government, based on how much Medicare work we did. Instead of splitting it evenly, they want to split it according to hours worked in 2019. If it was an even split we would each get just under three thousand dollars. It's a shame they want to do it that way, and I spoke up but my views were overridden. The money is one time only for relief, if it wasn't for Covid, there'd be no money. I told you they were funny about money in my group. (I applied for a payroll relief loan but my bank is a small community bank, they couldn't even figure out how to help it's members, and by the time they contacted me all the money available for the loan was gone.)
We find that our workers are getting sick, and are a significant number of the patients in the Covid population at our hospital. We have in house two nurses, one housekeeping staff, and one security guard. I know of one doctor who caught it too.
The floor where we keep the Covid patients who aren't sick enough to need ventilator and ICU care, that wing is now full. They are going to overflow into another wing of the hospital, the surgical floor, which is empty. Last night they opened it.
At the Vietnamese restaurant across the street, they have installed plexiglass next to the cashier. They are open for takeout.
I met someone who works in the laboratory while waiting for the egg rolls to be made for the day. He works both at our hospital and the one my mom goes to. The one my mom goes to is a three hundred fifty bed hospital, and three hundred forty of those beds are full. Over one hundred beds there are Covid or Covid-suspected cases. He says that the fifteen minute test is a lie. He has to set everything up for it for over one hour. Once its set up, then to run it takes fifteen minutes. But for him, it's very labor intensive. I showed him a funny video about a Vietnamese lady going to get the mail. She says a man drove by and asked her to show her breasts. He would give her one roll of toilet paper if she did it. She couldn't believe how desperate he was, like, WTF, right? Then she points which way he went, and there is a roll of toilet paper on her hand. You know she was just as desperate and did what he asked. Her Vietnamese accent is PERFECT, her timing and delivery impeccable. He laughed so hard and asked me to send it to him so that he could share it with his teams. I did. He says the humor helps. They have to be careful not to laugh too hard around the Covid specimens though--even with all their protective gear on.
Now we are going to offer ourselves up as an example to demonstrate how to stretch the wings of the heart.
Ross didn't know I got sick from him. He never in a million years had intended for me to catch anything from him.
What Divine Father said to me is that what he did was without my consent but it affected me, that's part of why that kind of situation hurts the woman or partner so bad.
I learned Ross was doing his best he could at the time. He didn't know what he was doing. Perhaps he was seeking comfort and something to remind him of me, it could have been but there's no way to know for sure.
I had to forgive him.
I had to say the words, 'I forgive you'.
Part of my learning is that when people hurt us, we need to let them know, so they have the opportunity to learn from it and be sorry for it and tell us.
Ross told me he was sorry.
I'm sorry too.
He has taken good care of us, Anthony and me, and in this incarnation with him as Ross and me as Carla, he has been good. Never overstepping his bounds, always respectful.
He told me today, that he was going to make amends to me. And I started to cry. Tears of healing. I didn't think after all this time, amends would happen, especially from him and his rank and everything to me. But he will.
He has also promised to send messages to me, five times a day, to let me know he picks me. He chooses me. I'm special and I mean something to him. That by his free will, and his heart, he wants me. He has sent me two already.
He also doesn't want me to cook today. Yesterday being on the edge, and trying to sleep in a loud call room, with a computer flashing through screen savers and the room not being dark...and my realizing I was sharing both a bathroom down the hall, and a ventilation system with the ICU Covid intensities physicians--that's I'd have to be careful. Our rooms are right next to each other. (And they watched TV all night! I could hear it even though it was quiet)...So after this Anthony and I get to go to takeout someplace of my choice.
Last night, while I was thinking, Ross wanted to take me someplace special for our first post-forgiveness 'date'. He asked me to think of somewhere to go, I thought perhaps Disneyland, it's fun. But he wanted someplace special.
He took me to the past, to a place in Albany/Berkeley on Solano Street, to the first Indian restaurant I've ever been to. It was called India Kashmir I think?
It was wonderful to be there with him, to sit and talk, and to be served Indian food. He didn't eat meat. But we had salad, pakora, I had chicken I think and he had I think a vindaloo. He eats the green chutney on his naan, I like the red one. And he reminded me to take some raita and dal. For dessert I wanted the warm carrot sweet. He ordered it special off the menu for me. And I had darjeeling tea to drink. It was always a special place for me, and all the more special because we were doing something that had once brought me great joy and happiness long time ago when we were in our past life together, long before when the bad things happened. It was a fresh start.
What impressed me the most, besides the thoughtfulness of his place he chose for us to go, was our making the effort to rebuild and start anew this time around now that the air has cleared between us.
The energy of togetherness is always so much better than the energy of separation.
We are giving you this example to support, educate and inspire you.
Let us take a look at an article Carla found about human trafficking in Berkeley that changed federal and state laws to protect victims better. She found it while looking to find the name of the restaurant Ross took her to eat. This very sick person, owned a different restaurant that was in downtown Berkeley. Carla lived in Berkeley for ten years. She's walked past Madras South Indian restaurant many a time. And always walked past it. Never eaten there once, not with friends, not with Mark, not by herself. Why? Because the energy there was so dark and heavy and oppressive she was afraid even to walk by the place.
Energy doesn't lie.
You might get fooled by an enchantment or a high level adept (dark kind) or someone who is essentially sent to be like a honey pot to take you down. But even that you'll figure out sooner or later.
Why we share the article is that there are many people hurting. Look at how the victims from the Berkeley human trafficker need sleeping pills to sleep because of the flashbacks they suffer, even ten years after the fact. One woman said that when she was given to him at age nine her childhood ended and her suffering began. People are getting by on crumbs, emotionally, in this sick and twisted place which fortunately is about to change for the better.
Energy-wise.
But even with the loving energy and the long-awaited justice being served to people like the perpetrators and even to the enabling villages back home--a great deal of healing is going to be required throughout the land, to all the hearts and to assuage all the suffering.
These people aren't in a good place to even begin healing and releasing and Ascending and growing. They are like thirsty plants parched in the sun and they need water and lots of it. Spiritual water, as in unconditional love.
He didn't do it in vain, what he did at the end of his life, Ross. And I saw what those monsters did to him. There's lots they don't talk about in the Good Book. But if you know the hatred and the patterns of abuse those monsters do to children and other victims, you will have a good idea of the suffering and humiliation he endured. It wasn't right. No one should have ever experienced it. No one. And it is our hope and intent that no one shall ever suffer humiliation like that again.
Ross
It's been a long journey. Carla and I have been through a lot together. I thank the support of our friends, our brothers and sisters, our cousins, who have supported us along the way. I want for us to be one huge loving family, where everyone is loved and cherished, and know you are closest upon close to our hearts.
Give people your loving attention when you are with them. It is going to take a lot of energy from you, a departure from your screen time and your habits. Listening with love and being Present is one of the most powerful methods of healing and it takes no training or license. Listen with your heart. Let the other person know by your face, your body language that you CARE. Even when they are talking about the same old things that upset them, and you have heard it thousands of times before!
One of these times, the energy you are doing is going to stick.
I pick Carla...Carla who has been rejected in so many ways. It doesn't matter if this was her choice to experience this, in her Life Lessons. There is pain in it for her, and I will help to ease it. There is only so much lesson that pain can teach, and everyone has had enough.
I have a surprise for her and I am working on it. All of us are.
Everything will happen for the best.
clap! clap!
Thank you for listening to me.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
the virtual Guides who encourage you to open up your hearts and allow the sunshine to echo to the ends of the Galaxies!
