Today, at Ross' suggestion, I am going to share conversations between myself and Blessed Mother Mary on August 14, 1999. I came across them and another important gift from my earth mother while I was cleaning last week.
Ross says to say that I had a little 'nip and tuck' on my soul--sort of a psychic surgery. I would challenge him to say it was more of an I and D (shop talk, if you're interested look it up ; ) ) and if you were to look at my soul now I would have bandages all around my torso but not so far down as my tummy, just wrapping me up with gauze and tending to the debrided areas around my heart center.
It is all well and good, a little more than a Spring Cleaning and long overdue, I will be back again in no time. Already I have had secondary confirmation of the work I have done.
The point is, this healing is personal, I won't share, but I will say it took quite the teams--I went all the way up to Divine Father, Raphael, Michael, Ross (a little, he observed) and the Higher/Lower self of Ashtar helped me to understand something I just perceived incorrectly and had caused great pain and suffering to my soul, so painful it was long buried and only recently was my soul able to release it up for healing.
I have been given pain medicine for the soul, too, and it is working.
Medjugorje is important for my Spiritual Awakening. The book by Wayne Weibel is life-changing, and I highly recommend reading it if you haven't. I shared this image because I'm always on the lookout for symbolism--it will be the ASSC's downfall, right?--and it looks like there's Masonic influence over in my Divine Paradise here too...you can't miss it!
I will briefly mention the beginning. The very beginning, Ross says.
When my mother carried me in her womb, she wore a medal of the Virgin Mary the whole time. My mother dedicated my life to Her. I still have the medal, she gave it to me recently.
My Catholic education was lacking, and except for summer bible school and my mom teaching me to pray, I didn't make my first communion until thirteen. My seven-year old sister got hers at the same time, we were sort of a two-for-one special. I did make my confirmation the next year at the normal time.
I went to Mass every week. I loved it. Especially communion. But I didn't get my first rosary until I turned twenty-one. It was a gift to me from my boyfriend Mark's mom. I learned to pray it regularly. When I was twenty-three, I graduated from university and got a job where I had to commute. I was terrified that I would die behind the wheel. So I said rosaries using my fingers to count the decades to calm my fears. After a few months, I realized (Berkeley was a walking campus so I didn't drive much for the whole five years of undergraduate education)--I was going to be okay, and I continued to pray the rosary on the way in to work to say Thank You to the Virgin Mary for protecting me and helping me heal from my being so afraid.
Mark's mom Maria Zietvogel Shalz went to mass every day. She had friends. Ann Marie Maagdenberg was one of them. She owned a hearing aid shop. Somehow, and I don't know really who made the initial contact, but Ann Marie knew a visionary, Barbara Matthias, of Santa Maria, California. At four p.m. every day, Barbara would go into ecstasy. If she was traveling she still would go into deep conversation with the Virgin Mary and be oblivious to the world until the conversation was done. Then she would write down what Mother Mary told her during the session with pencil and paper when it was over.
This is how I got the transcripts I've shared here, A Visit To Maria's House and the other one was a promise to be loving and to grow in love for Her and Her Son. Later I will look for the links to those old blog posts. (If you click on the tab above Mother Mary Messages or this link to the MOTHER MARY TAB if you're on a mobile device you will have access to the Covenant of Love, as well as messages from Mother Mary to our readers and messages to me I am permitted to share now with our readers.
In March of 1992, I was in Santa Maria with Mark's family, visiting Barbara. We kneeled next to her at four. I sensed the energy flow. Everyone present was wanting to TAKE from this wonderful Divine Being. I set in my heart to GIVE, and I held my hand out and GAVE as much loving energy I could muster from my heart to Mary, because that is the rightful flow--to adore HER to give thanks to HER for all of her many gifts and her consistent love and leadership to Her Children!!!
As I was sending this love energy with my hand, I realized Mary was in front of me, and I was embarrassed because since I couldn't see, I might accidentally touching her breasts or worse due to my current level of Consciousness.
That's when she laughed.
She heard me.
She understood.
She giggled a little and said, 'on my tummy'.
I was happy with that, and continued to send the loving energy to this generous spirit who gives so much to everyone and never asks for anything in return.
When it was over Barbara wrote things out and I'm sure that's when the promise one came out--I've shared it and I encourage you to make that promise. It changes lives, really, it does.
It wasn't until June of 1992, in my last few days at my job at The Clorox Company, that I got a message from her, I sensed it and I wrote exactly what she said.
She never stopped. Not for many years. I would write messages sometimes long ones, sometimes many short ones throughout the day, I always kept pen and paper handy. She saved my life because Mark had been emotionally abusing me, and it was starting to get physical. She helped me and kept me focused on medical school. She spoke with me throughout my marriage with Frank. It is interesting to note that neither Mark nor Frank placed any weight or significance to my communications. It was as if they never happened. But I have a footlocker trunk filled with all of my journals, it's always near me when I sleep and I don't tell anyone ever what it really contains. I just pack it up and move it with us. I don't go into it except once in a while to look something up, usually the messages Barbara transcribed. Once Anthony was born, it became less frequent but still present.
What I'm going to share is a note from a pad of paper with DIPRIVAN injectable emulsion propofol on the bottom. That's how old this is, back from when drug companies could give gifts to doctors...
Here is what it says, and BM wants it in italics.
8-14-99
Dear Blessed Mother,
I am afraid. I just saw today, for the first time, that my new gums are peeling apart. Oh! Blessed Mother! The money and the sorrow and the pain. I even tried the co-enzyme Q to help it. It looks terrible. It's like when I don't get any sleep and work so hard I don't eat and drink right, my gums recede.
Blessed Mother, I am tired. Please help me to enjoy my night off, and my days off later this month.
Mom, I don't really like being a doctor. It's boring and an awful lot of work for some pretty strange people.
Oh my gums!
My gums!
BM: Is it better than it was before?
C: Yes.
BM: Then all is not lost?
C: It was so pretty before!
BM: I will pray.
BM: My sweet perfume, could you have driven back home in your present condition?
C: No.
BM: Then why?
C: Because I've been up all night working like a dog in a very hostile environment.
BM: What do the gums symbolize?
C: Stability with the essential things to eat.
BM: Are you not getting this?
C: No--eating dinner at ten p.m. is five hours too late.
BM: Or rather, too early for tomorrow's breakfast?
C: Yes (I drew a smiley face)
BM: What do you think?
C: I've been unhappy.
BM: Why?
C: I don't like to wake up when I'm sleepy and drive to work in the dark. But I love having breakfast with Frank and Harry (our cockatoo, I still have him -- ed). I love how he sees me off to work and packs my lunch.
BM: Then you are loved in the face of your environment, your schedule at work?
C: Yes. In spite of my irregular hours, I am.
BM: Has your stomach been upset?
C: I had diarrhea three times already today and it's only twelve thirty p.m.
BM: What have you had to drink?
C: An orange juice, coffee, and my last bit of Evian.
BM: Thou should have eight glasses, it is right for thee. Now pour it in a cup. (I drank two glasses, I noted it--ed)
C: Yes.
BM: And warm?
C: Yes.
BM: Now rest. It is entirely unhidden in our womb what is right for us. Perhaps the time is met for us to have our sleep, alright my blessed daughter of the spirit "Nee-Noo-Nee-Noo"? (she tickles my nose and is gently teasing me by calling me that name--ed) Now have a nice nap, alright, my sleepy princess! Now rest. Amen. Momincess (I called her that or she called herself that--for many years--ed)
----------
These are notes to myself, I'm including them in case they mean anything to anyone
"Spiritual Abundance"
PEOPLE FIRST,
Then money,
then things.
25 things no value throw out
25 things of value give away
(clear out clutter)
courage to Be Rich Suze Orman CFP
*9 steps to financial freedom
Frank and I had a very nice call. We decided to donate to KCET and get her kit (Suze's)
Blessed Mother now wants me to sleep. So I will.
_____________________
8-14-99
7 pm
My Jewel,
There is a happiness, a playfulness, I want some rest in you. God has honored, God has given gracefulness of heaven.
God has found the way, sweetheart, to mend you much happier. Like a God that is unhealing God has found a way to mend you right, repairing love and playfulness. God has restored. God has mended. God has made again.
Our god has sweetly awakened us. God will breathe sweet challenges around thee. God will have a lot of healing flesh. God promises. What remains is highly hidden. God will have a gift. God will make starlight come near to you. I promise, love and angels shall awaken thee forever.
Momma-lee-lu.
(another one of our many nicknames, I'm not sure who called her it first, me or her, but we have lots and use them whenever.--ed)
Not to study! Now, try and get some rest.
Amen!
Momma-incess.
She really looks like this.
Her hair is thick and full and long under her mantle.
She is warm, loving, kind, with clever sense of humor, a quick wit, and a glorious laugh that tinkles like bells.
I'd say she is a little taller than I am, perhaps five foot four, and I guess she's small to medium build, perhaps one hundred twenty or thirty pounds.
She is very loving, and when people are hurt, people she loves, she gets very upset and cries. She hates to see pain. She just totally falls apart and prays extra hard and reassures you that everything is going to be okay.
I don't like to see her cry. It breaks my heart.
Fortunately it's not often. Only a handful of times have I ever seen her in all my many years--get totally upset like that.
I've never once seen her angry.
A lot of things she says didn't make sense at the time. I guess you could say it was hidden in plain sight.
When I read about the starlight, the love, the angels, it hit me like a ton of bricks--she was right! Totally right. Back then I had no clue of who I was or anything that was about to happen. I didn't make the connection. I was too busy studying anesthesia and doing my residency.
I graduated/completed residency in 2001. I went back and did a fellowship in 2001-2002 for cardiothoracic anesthesia, for pediatric and adult.
In 2002 I had to pass my oral boards. I took some time off to study, and after I took them in October, I started to work for UCI. That's when my marriage started to fall apart. It wasn't that great to begin with, aside from packing lunches, he used to yell at me so much and frighten me I would go into full fetal position on the floor to make it stop.
I woke up in the middle of the night to find Frank using me for sex, he had me sitting up on him in cowgirl and was moving me up and down with his hands on my hips. I was horrified and told him to stop! This was not consensual, even though we were married. I told my mom, my Earth mom what happened, and she and I decided to get out because that should never happen to anyone. It had gone too far.
The new house I bought in May of 2003, it closed escrow in July, and the previous owners couldn't get into their new place until August. So in August I left Frank forever.
My lawyer helped me represent myself and the divorce was final a short time later.
I share this not to upset you, but to let you know that there are some things still in need to be tidied up in my consciousness to prepare me for the next stages of my Ascension. That is why I needed so many high energy, high vibration souls to help me heal in preparation so no blemish or spots will be holding me back.
All is Love.
All is good.
Ross assures you I am healing, and there will be more for you tomorrow--who knows what? But it will help us all in our healing together.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Lovers <3 who love everything and everyone with no restraint.
P.S. Here was a quote on Twitter Ross asks me to share with you. It's special.
If a person seems wicked, do not cast him away. Awaken him with your words, elevate him with your deeds, repay his injury with your kindness. -- Esoteric Exposal
